A Canada Post worker has been suspended without pay for his own protection after a local Quebec newspaper broke the story that he may have fathered more fifty illegitimate “people”.
Note: I’m using “people” instead of the C-word because this is first and foremost a porn site and we don’t want to have anything to do with C-words.
“I followed him for over two months on his regular route,” an anonymous private detective hired by three women in the area looking for paternity tests told reporters. “He entered homes and would leave after a while. Very suspicious. So I started collecting DNA from around the neighbourhood, and that’s where I realized what was going on.”
Really, private detective? You couldn’t figure out what a mailman and a lonely housewife could be doing for 5 to 15 minutes? You had to collect DNA samples?
The culprit has been working his route for 26 years and he’s cuckolded more than eight households in a 10 km radius.
While I applaud this mailman for turning his career into a porn movie of banging hot housewives, the bad news is that if these allegations prove true he could over 16 million Canadian dollars in family allowances.
Just a reminder that if you’re going to be having sex with a lonely housewife, wear a condom.
Also, we should all become mailmen because it’s apparently very easy to have sex with lonely housewives throughout a shift.