Wednesday on Twitter, 50 Cent declared that he is now abstinent. You see, according to Mr. Cent, “Women = confusion” which is something he doesn’t need right now. If his new album Street King Immortal is going to bring him back to relevance he needs as little confusion as possible.
But he’s not just avoiding women, he’s fully observing his new found abstinence.
Later 50 tweeted, “Masturbation is a sin you stop right now fool!!! lol God is watching you#SMS”. But how can someone just stop masturbating? Masturbation is the only thing I’ve consistently enjoyed for over 20 years, other than The Simpsons.
Don’t worry, 50 Cent was thoughtful enough to tweet the four-steps anyone will ever need to ween themselves off masturbating.