Not so BadGalRiri
Bad news, everyone. Rihanna has turned her back on partying and hasn’t had sex in ages.
On the British talk show, Alan Carr: Chatty Man, Rihanna said that she’s stopped hitting the clubs because it’s “boring”.
“Recently I’ve become a square,” she says. “I hate partying. I don’t know if it’s my heels – I don’t like standing up in my heels for hours. I don’t know if it’s that, but I’ve been so bored of it.”
Can you really be a square when you have legs like Rihanna?
One solution to Rihanna’s partying problem would be to ditch the heels. She’s already got those long, slender legs. Does she really need to accentuate her sexy legs by wearing heels?
The real problem isn’t that Rihanna isn’t out partying three nights a week anymore, it’s that she hasn’t been able to pick up alternative New York City pro skaters to have sex with.
Rihanna told Alan Carr, “I am such a bootleg rock star, I do nothing, literally. I’m embarrassed to say that actually. That’s so disgusting. That’s fucking pathetic.”
She added, “I tell you, I’m a bit of a square recently. Don’t feel bad for me, I’m good.”
Normally I get concerned for celebrities when I hear that their sex lives are in a rut. If a celebrity can’t get any sex, then what are regular non-celebrities supposed to do for sex? But I’m not worried about Rihanna’s sex life because it’s Rihanna. She’s a 25 year-old super babe.
If Rihanna wanted to have sex, all she would have to do is walk into any room and say, “I’m Rihanna. I want to have sex. Raise your hand if you would like to have sex with me, Rihanna.”
After hearing this, everyone in the room would put up their hands and she would be able to pick her favorite (or favorites). And if there isn’t anyone she’s interested in, she could just move on to a different room full of people and try again.
Everyone wants to have sex with Rihanna. Her sex life is going to be fine.
Even though Rihanna’s in a bit of a dry spell right now, the good news is her Instagram is still as sexy as ever.
Let’s look at some of Rihanna’s sexy Instagram pictures now:
All she would have to do is ask anyone if they wanted to have sex and her sex life would be saved.