Welcome back to another edition of Chico’s Sex Advice where I use all my expertise as a sexpert to answer any questions my beloved readers may have about sex. Today’s question comes from KC Sunshine. KC writes:
“Hi Chico. My girlfriend wants me to talk dirty to her during sex. Do you have any advice for someone who hasn’t done much dirty talking in their sexual career?”
Excellent question, KC!
My first piece of dirty talk advice is to be confident.
I know an issue I’ve always had with dirty talk is feeling self-conscious. Maybe you’re the same way. How can anyone not feel like a complete moron when you’re whispering, “I’m going to spread them gams and pour sour cream all over them thighs.” Right?
So how can you be confident in your dirty talking abilities? Well, I’ll tell you how I became confident. All you need to do is remember that during sex you look incredibly stupid. You’re naked, maybe a little sweaty, all your uncoiffed pubic hair is in plain sight, so what’s the harm in saying stupid things? Once you’re naked and she’s naked, you have nothing to lose.
You’re probably now thinking, “Well, dirty talk with confidence. I can do that. But what should I say?” Well, KC, I’m sorry but I can’t help you. It’s up to you to figure out how to dirty talk your girlfriend.
If you want, I could take an evening off and spend it dirty talking your girlfriend and I’ll let you know what she likes.
If not, all you can do is try things. The nice thing about dirty talk is that there’s a pretty reliable formula you can follow until you’re comfortable freestyling it.
#1. Say what you want to do to them.
Want to tie your partner up? Want to spank them? Want to spread their legs and pour sour cream all over them gams? JUST TELL THEM. It’ll be super hot.
#2. Do what you’re going to say.
Following through on your dirty talk promises in step 1.
#3. Say what you just did.
This prolongs the entire experience and may invite more sex from your partner.
Does that make sense?
Ultimately, all you can really do is say anything with confidence and see how your partner reacts to it. Maybe she wants to be degraded with your dirty talk? Maybe she wants to feel like your sexual master? Maybe she doesn’t care if you say anything at all and she just want you to try dirty talk because she wants more noise during sex?
Sound is an important part of sex because it just adds more sensory stimulation. So whether you’re dirty talking or just more moaning, you’ll figure it out.
Good luck, KC!
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PS. KC, you can learn a lot about dirty talk from Tori Black: