March, 2014

  • The Bar Refaeli Commercial Too Hot For Israeli TV


    Bar Refaeli

    I’ll admit that if it were my job to decide which commercials were allowed to air on TV, I would be forced to ban any Bar Refaeli commercial because she’s just too hot to be seen on a regular basis.

    Fap material shouldn’t be rampant on TV simply because that’s what the internet is for.

    Anyways, the Israeli government has banned Bar Refaeli’s new commercial that’s for some kind of clothing/puppet store because it contains “too many sexual insinuations.” Truthfully, I have no idea what the commercial is for but it features not one, not two, but three Bar Refaeli’s being sexy with some sick-looking, muppet knock-off. Including some simulated sex.

    Honestly, seeing the puppet would normally totally ruin this commercial for me. But three Bar Refaeli’s can do wonderful things. Watch it now:


    March 31, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 7191

  • Cara Delevingne and Michelle Rodriguez Tropical Topless Makeout


    Cara Delevingne and Michelle Rodriguez spotted!

    There’s been a lot of speculation as to whether or not Cara Delevingne and Michelle Rodriguez are dating ever since they were spotted making out at a Knicks game back in January.

    Even though their reps denied that these two babes were romantically involved, I was convinced some funny business was going down ever since their sexy limo ride. But now, TMZ has come across some incontrovertible evidence that Cara and Michelle are more than just good friends.

    Some vigilante perv spotted Cara and Michelle in Cacun last week and caught Cara Delevingne bathing topless and making out with Michelle Rodriguez on video, so let’s watch that right now:

    Sadly, I could not find the raw footage, just this crap TMZ edit with two morons talking over it. Sorry.

    So it’s safe to say that Cara and Michelle are dating, or at least having sex, because making out topless in water that clear isn’t what friends do. Or at least that’s what my female friends keep telling me. I don’t see why topless makeouts are reserved for girls that are dating each other. Seems to me if you love your friend, you should take a romantic vacation to Cacun and makeout with them topless. How else can you show them your love?


    March 31, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 6350

  • EA’s Girl of the Month: Casey Calvert

    Guys, you’re not supposed to know who Elegant Angel’s Girl of the Month is until Tuesday when it’s April 1st, but something occurred to me…April 1st is April Fool’s Day, a day where prankster run a muck preying on the naive.

    If I were to tell you that Casey Calvert is Elegant Angel’s Girl of the Month on April 1st, you guys might get confused and think that it’s some weird prank I’m pulling on you.

    So to minimize confuse and suspicion, I thought the best thing to do would be to tell you straight up that Casey Calvert is Elegant Angel’s Girl of the Month April 2014. Way to go, Casey!   Continue Reading

    March 29, 2014 • Pictures & Vids, Porn, Pornstars • Views: 7829

  • Zero Gravity Day Is Not A Thing. 31 GIFs That Will Make Thankful For Gravity.


    “I’M BOUNCING” – Outkast

    There’s a story floating around the internet that on April 4th, 2014, it will be “Zero Gravity Day”. The story goes that due to a planetary alignment, everyone will be able to float in the air for five minutes because there’s zero gravity.

    That is simply the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Sorry to anyone who was genuinely excited to float in the air for five minutes, but it’s physically impossible for Earth’s gravity to take a five minute break. And on top of that, there will be no special planetary alignment on April 4th. See for yourself.

    What’s discouraging is the number of people that believed April 4th was going to be “Zero G Day” (especially when you remember that this hoax was already done in January of this year!)


    Are you fucking kidding me? Please get yourself down to the Adult Education Annex in your town and register for Remedial Science 1A.

    Hey I’m really sorry to rain on your Zero-G-Day parade, but gravity is actually pretty cool.

    To help you understand the importance of gravity, here are 31 GIFs that will make you thankful for gravity’s existence:  Continue Reading

    March 28, 2014 • TOP 10's • Views: 33308

  • Obsessed with Cora Keegan


    Cora Keegan

    Have you guys heard of Cora Keegan yet?

    If not I’m sorry for not posting about her sooner because this babe is out of this world hot.

    This 21 year-old tall, slim babe hails from Las Vegas, Nevada. Now, I’ve yet to meet Cora Keegan but I really hope that she’s very Las Vegas. What I mean by that is I hope she’s as glamorous as she appears in her fashion photography, but dirty deep down. Like Las Vegas! Except Vegas was only glamorous in like the early 60’s. Now it’s just plain dirty.

    Not a whole lot to say about Cora Keegan except that she’s your dream woman and once you see all these pictures, you’re going to be totally obsessed with her.


    March 28, 2014 • Pictures & Vids, Porn • Views: 10791

  • Only Sex Can Save Denmark

    do it for denmark

    Sex can save Denmark!

    All things considered, Denmark is doing a lot of things right and I’m not just talking about unleashing the super sexy Nina Agdal on to the world.

    Last year, the UN deemed that Denmark was the happiest country in the world because of its commitment to maternity leave, gender equality, biking, drinking, and love of cigarettes. Denmark’s economy is pumping out $211 billion annually, which is impressive because the population is only 5.6 million people.

    So everything is good in Denmark, right? Wrong.

    Denmark has a serious sex problem…which immediately negates its “happiest country in the world” title in my mind.  Continue Reading

    March 28, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 4459

  • This New Vibrator Claims It Can Make You Smarter

    According to a new sex survey by luxury sex toy manufacturer LELO, left-handed people are not only more creative than their right-handed counterparts, but they are also 71% more sastified sexually. That’s great news for the lefties of the world, but it’s also totally unfair because 90% of the world’s population is right-handed.

    I wish it was still socially acceptable for nuns to smack lefties with a ruler, forcing them to use their right hand. Maybe then the lefties of the world would understand the endless pain and suffering that is living right-handed.

    However, disciplinary nuns are hard to find nowadays so LELO has come up with another solution. They’ve released a new vibrator exclusively for the right-handed called THE DEXTRÜS and they claim it will make users smarter.  Continue Reading

    March 28, 2014 • Toys • Views: 2572

  • Elle Alexandra Talks About The Twistys Boycott


    Elle Alexandra

    It’s been almost two weeks since Emily Addison, Vanessa Veracruz, Bree Daniels, Sabrina Marie and Elle Alexandra launched their Twistys Boycott in response to the Treat of the Year controversy.

    Curious for an update on the boycott, I spoke with the always lovely Elle Alexandra to see what’s happening. So enjoy my all too brief interview with Elle Alexandra!

    Chico: Hello?

    Elle AlexandraHi! Hang on, I’m sitting outside and there are random chunks of ice flying in my face! Ok. Alright. Hi.

    C: So this Twistys boycott is about more than just them rigging the contest, right?

    It is about more than that. It’s the straw that broke the camel’s back. There has been a long history of changes since the MindGeek/Manwin takeover of these companies. There are have been a lot of things people have been unhappy with, as far as changing the amount of photos and adding the amount of B/G content. Especially since Twistys as brand has always been about G/G and solo.

    As for the Twistys Treat of the Year contest, members vote. Models campaign. Nicole Aniston won and Vanessa Veracruz was runner-up. To take those votes and replace them with a girl that’s more “marketable” than Vanessa, that’s when we had had enough.  Continue Reading

    March 28, 2014 • INTERVIEWS, Pictures & Vids, Porn, Pornstars • Views: 15730

  • Art Porn Series Makes Suggestiveness Sexy


    Turns out, art is cool!

    With all the adult imagery on this blog, I thought it would be nice to change the pace up a little bit. Rather than curate a series or gallery of sexy women doing sexy things, I thought I’d share with you “Obscene Interiors“, a pseudo-pornographic series by South African artist Von Brandis.

    Von Brandis took from vintage porno scenes found on the internet and stripped them of all the naughty bits. All that’s left are white silhouettes where the sex should be.

    To me, this series proves that you don’t need close-ups of butts or a big veiny monster smacking girls around. Sometimes being suggestive is just as sexy as being explicit. And by sometimes I mean just once and while. White silhouettes of sex will not replace the sex that you would normally be seeing right now.  Continue Reading

    March 28, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 2476

  • Happy Birthday Babe of The Day: Nina Agdal

    Nina Agdal

    Nina Agdal

    You know what’s going to make you feel like an old pervert? Nina Agdal turned 22 yesterday. So I guess technically the title of this post should read “Happy Belated Birthday Babe of the Day: Nina Agdal” but it’s Thursday, the first day of the weekend, so lay off me, alright?

    Am I the only one that thought Nina Agdal was older than 22? Supermodels are a weird breed. They all have to be under 25 to be relevant but yet none of them look their age. And before you say, “Ummm…Chico, you ever heard of photoshop?” The answer is OF COURSE I’VE HEARD OF PHOTOSHOP. Jerk. But this phenomenon’s been happening way before photoshop. It used to be called airbrushing.

    Anyways, though I’m surprised that Nina Agdal is only 22, I must admit that I’m relieved she’s still so young because I will rue the day that this Danish beauty turns 25 and gets shipped off to that Supermodel farm upstate where they get to run around and play and pose for photos. My dog Tippy is there too. My papa took Tippy to the supermodel farm upstate when I was a teen after they found a tumor in his stomach. 40 years later, he’s been living it up and feeling great with all supermodels over the age of 25. I promise I’ll come visit you soon, Tippy!

    In the meantime, I think the best way to celebrate Nina Agdal’s belated birthday would be to bask in her great beauty. Maybe it’s just me, but I think Nina Agdal is so hot that if she were to make eye-contact with me in real life, I would spontaneously combust. Those smouldering, Scandinavian eyes and perfect body already cause me to melt, and that’s with the protective computer screen separating us.

    Initially, I tried to choose Nina Agdal’s 22 hottest pictures for her 22nd birthday, but that was too hard. How was I only supposed to pick 22 pics? So instead, here are 53 of Nina Agdal’s hottest pics. One picture for every year that she will be the hottest woman alive.  Continue Reading

    March 27, 2014 • Pictures & Vids, Porn • Views: 8400

  • What Your Horoscope Says About Releasing A Sex Tape


    Born under a porn sign

    Were you born between November 22nd and December 21st? I certainly hope you are because that would make you a Sagittarius and Sagittarians are the most likely to make amateur porn according to a new study by Homegrown Video.

    Homegrown Video, a leading producer/distributor of amateur porn, collected statistics on submissions for six months to determine if there was a correlation between astrological signs and the desire to submit a sex tape for public enjoyment. You may remember Homegrown Video was able to determine that the majority of amateur sex tapes are made in the Bible Belt using the same method.  Continue Reading

    March 27, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 11240

  • Ukrainian Women Call For Sex Strike Against Russian Men


    If all Ukrainian women are as sexy as Elena Romanova, then the Russians are in trouble.

    In response to Russia strong-arming their homeland, a group of Ukrainian women are calling for a boycott of sex with Russian men.

    According to The Atlantic, the campaign is called DON’T GIVE IT TO A RUSSIAN and they believe that Ukrainian women should “fight the enemy by any means necessary.” And by “any means necessary”, they mean withhold sex from Russian men until they can’t help but leave Crimea in order to get laid.

    Honestly, I don’t think that depriving Russian men of sex will help the situation. When women of any nationality withhold sex from me, I get more irritable and aggressive. If Russian men are the same way, which I assume they are because they’re men, the sex boycott will only exacerbate the tensions between the two nations.

    But then again, withholding sex worked in Lysistrata a Greek comedy by Aristophanes where Lysistrata persuades the women of Greece to withhold sexual privileges from their husbands and lovers as a means of forcing the men to negotiate peace. However, that play is from 411 BC and the world has changed a bit since then.

    This is not the first modern example of a sex strike. As The Atlantic points out:

    Of course, the women of “Don’t Give It to a Russian” are hardly the first to have this idea. Just last month, a group of women in Tokyo threatened not to sleep with any man who voted for a gubernatorial candidate who was seen to have outdated views on gender. In 2003, a group called the Women of Liberia Mass Action for Peace led a sex strike for an end to the Liberian civil war. And just a few years ago in Ukraine, the feminist group Femen called on the wives and girlfriends of the members of the prime minister’s cabinet to boycott sex in opposition to what they called the prime minister’s “caddish and humiliating attitude towards Ukrainian women.”

    If you want to support the Ukrainian sex strike, you can like their Facebook page and buy some merch here: DON’T GIVE IT TO A RUSSIAN.

    What do you think? Do you think that a sex strike against Russian men will help save Ukraine?

    Personally, I don’t know. But I do know that Ukrainian women are extremely hot. Let’s look at some of the hottest Ukrainian women ever. I think if you invaded Crimea, you’d rethink the whole thing once you found out these babes were withholding sex from you.  Continue Reading

    March 26, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 6004

  • Faking Orgasms Can Be A Good Thing, Says New Study


    Fake it ’til you make it.

    A new study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior has finally found that faking orgasms can be a positive thing. Before you burn me at the stake for heresy, allow me to explain.

    Based on self-reports from 481 straight women, the study found that there are four basic reasons for faking orgasms. Women fake orgasms…

    1. To protect their partner’s feelings.
    2. To avoid awkward or negative moments.
    3. To increase their own arousal during sex.
    4. To get it over with already.

    Normally when we think of faking orgasms, we think of disappointment. We’ve failed our female companions by not giving them an orgasm. But that’s not always the case! Sometimes women fake orgasms in order to get off!

    It makes sense that faking an orgasm would help women achieve a real orgasm because is there anything more erotic than the breathy “Yes! Yes! Yes!” or “Oh God! Oh God!” or “Ay papi!” or “Ooooooh. Oooooh. Oooooh,” that women do when faking an orgasm? The answer is obviously no there isn’t.

    One could also look at the performance of a fake orgasm creates an intimate moment, in the sense that it’s done to comfort the woman’s partner. And as we all know, comfort with a sexual partner is the key to closing the orgasm gap.

    So ladies, don’t feel guilty if you have to fake an orgasm. It might help you have a real orgasm in the end.

    And guys, if she’s faking an orgasm, she’s doing it for both of you. So don’t complain or feel bad.

    Just goes to show you that the old “Fake it ’til you make it” adage is the secret to success in life.

    March 26, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 6351

  • Shakira Has A New Album So Here Are Some Sexy GIFs



    Shakira’s self-titled album is out today!

    I’m sorry. Usually I’m pretty good at feigning excitement for just about anything but I can’t muster up some fake-stoke for a new Shakira album because the only song I’ve ever liked is “Groove Is In The Heart“. Now, I’m not suggesting that Shakira’s new album is bad. It’s just not on the same level as “Groove Is In The Heart” because no song is that good. Maybe “What Is Love?” by Haddaway but that’s being generous.

    So yeah, Shakira’s new album, while exciting for people who have never heard “Groove Is In The Heart”, just doesn’t get my juices flowing. (Though the music video with Shakira and Rihanna together was cool.)

    But I know what will! Shakira shaking her hips. Her music may be whatever but I think we can all agree that Shakira’s hips don’t lie.  Continue Reading

    March 26, 2014 • Pictures & Vids, Porn • Views: 11644

  • Say Goodbye To Advancements In Virtual Sex


    Virtual Sex!

    It was only a few months ago, (November 13th, 2013 to be specific) that we thought virtual sex and robot handjobs were no longer something we had to dream about. Thanks to the rise of Oculus VR, the leader in virtual reality technology, virtual sex and robot handjobs were going to become a reality, and we’d finally be happy.

    However, we can now abandon all hope for hyper-realistic virtual sex because Facebook has bought Oculus VR for a cool $2 Billion.  Continue Reading

    March 26, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 2472

  • Karl Lagerfeld Explains Our Obsession With Sexy Selfies (34 Sexy Selfies)



    After hosting a fashion show in a Chanel-themed supermarket, German fashion designer and Chanel head honcho sat down with The Guardian‘s Imogen Fox for a little interview.

    In the interview, Lagerfeld trashes other fashion designers and disses everyone with tattoos, but he also explains why we’re all so obsessed with sexy selfies.

    He explains selfies by saying, “They are this horrible thing where you are distorted. The chin is too big, the head is too small. No, this is electronic masturbation.”

    I get it! I finally get it! Hot babes take sexy selfies because it feels good like masturbation, and we look at sexy selfies because we’re a bunch of pervs that like to watch hot babes masturbate.

    Thank you Mr. Lagerfeld for explaining why we’re obsessed with sexy selfies. Now, you would please send me a complimentary Chanel t-shirt? White with Chanel logo in black, size Medium, and extra fly because I know the babes in my city can’t resist a man in a Chanel t-shirt.

    For having cracked the code of sexy selfies, I think we should thank Mr. Lagerfeld by indulging in a lot of sexy selfies.  Continue Reading

    March 25, 2014 • Pictures & Vids, Porn • Views: 11561

  • The Dance Moves That Women Are Most Attracted To


    Malena Morgan demonstrates dance that men find most attractive (topless dancing).

    When it comes to attracting women, I’ve always been handicapped by my hatred of dance. I’m a man of limited grace so I prefer to save the few moves I have for the bedroom. Better to blow a babe away in bed rather than blow your load on the dance-floor.

    But it’s cool because as a expert sexpert, attracting women is so easy for me that I need some handicap so that I can better relate to you guys.

    Anyways, dancing! Dancing with a woman is an excellent way of attracting her because it’s pretty much form of foreplay. You’re up close, sweaty, grinding your junks together. It’s impossible not to get turned on!

    But what dance moves should you be doing to attract women? It’s a question that’s plague uncoordinated schmucks like you and me, but thankfully a group of evolutionary biologists claim to have figured out exactly which dance moves that women are most attracted to.  Continue Reading

    March 25, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 29762

  • How To Attract Women With Only Your Voice


    Never sleep alone ever again!

    One question I always get asked is, “How do I talk to girls?” I’ve already answered this question once for Chico’s Sex Advice but I have some additional advice for you and how to talk to girls. had sociosexual psychologist Dr. Alex Schiller from explain his simple secret to attracting women. The secret? STOP TALKING LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

    What the heck does that mean?

    1. Never complain. 

    Being negative can be a nice vicarious release for you, but it’s not very attractive. No one wants to hear about your stupid boss, your broken fridge, your sick dog, etc, because it’s boring and puts a real stink in the air. Staying positive will help you attract women because they will want to be a part of your positive life.

    2. Never speak quickly or loudly. 

    Speaking quickly or loudly can convey two things to men and women you’d like to sleep with: you’re insecure or you’re attention-whore. Nobody wants that. Speaking slow and low, especially in a crowded area, will show that you are a confident, relaxed person that everyone would be lucky to have sex with. Also, speaking slow and low will make the babe you’re talking to lean in to hear you better. Leaning in will make everyone around you feel that person wants you. If the group thinks this person wants you, then they will also want you. And if this person thinks they want you, then he or she will want you even more. Desire is contagious.

    3. Never misuse the word “like.”

    Misue of the word “like” makes you sound like a dumb idiot. “Like you know, I’m just like so into right now.” No one wants to sleep with someone that talks like that.

    Dr. Alex Schiller guarantees that changing the way you speak with these three easy tips will get you laid. I’m not 100% convinced that it will work, but it might because it’s basically like aural pea-cocking. But anything that might help you get laid, I’m going to tell you about.

    And hey! If you need more sex advice, feel free to send your questions to or

    March 25, 2014 • Sex & Dating Tips • Views: 13500

  • Bonnie Rotten Is Elegant Angel’s New Squirtwoman


    Bonnie Rotten aka Squirtwoman

    When Bonnie Rotten sat down with Chris Nieratko for a little interview, she spoke about her squirting and that now, “I can’t really control [my squirting] because I’ve done it so much. Now, like if I’m cumming, and there’s a dick in my pussy. Done. Or in my ass.”

    Click here to watch the full interview.

    Though some people might see Bonnie Rotten’s inability to control her squirting as a handicap or a form of incontinence, the good people at Elegant Angel have decided to bestow the title of Squirtwoman onto her.

    Yes, the reigning AVN Performer of the Year Bonnie Rotten is also the new Squirtwoman.   Continue Reading

    March 24, 2014 • Pictures & Vids, Porn • Views: 12660

  • The Most Popular GIFs On The Internet Are Porn GIFs!


    My reaction to this news was the same as Jessica Robbins’s here.

    Well guys, we did it! Porn GIFs are officially the most popular GIFs on the internet!

    Whenever I think of popular GIFs, I think of cats falling off windowsills, cats getting flung off ceiling fans, cats coming up short on big jumps, and so on and so forth.

    Yes, with the wide variety of GIFs on the internet, it seemed unlikely that Porn GIFs would take the top spot.

    How did we find out that porn GIFs are the most popular GIFs on the internet?

    Well, a little website called “scrapes” the internet for the most shared GIFs on the internet on a daily basis. It just so happens that the 99% of the most shared GIFs on the internet are porn GIFs!

    Incredible. Thank you for letting us know that everyone loves to share porn GIFs. In celebration of this new achievement in Porn GIF-ery, here are a bunch of our favorite porn GIFs. Let’s try and get them on y’all!  Continue Reading

    March 24, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 156778