In order to know the best, you have to dip into the worst every now and then.
That’s why today, I’m going to tell you about the 5 worst sex positions. Steer clear of these uncomfortable and boring sex positions and you will have hotter sex. But even the 5 worst sex positions have their defenders, that’s why I’ll also tell you how to improve them (even though they are terrible).
So are you ready to find out which sex positions are the 5 worst (and how to improve them)?
If sex positions were ice cream flavors, the missionary sex position would be like taking a bite out of the cardboard container the ice cream comes in. It’s that bland. I bet you thought I was going to say vanilla but vanilla ice cream isn’t as bland as the missionary sex position.
Missionary is nice because the face to face element allows for some chit-chat between the sheets or some sloppy make-outs, but beyond that missionary is boring!
When I say missionary is boring, it’s not just because it’s the most obvious of all the sex positions, it’s also because it’s hard to stimulate the clitoris. And as I’ve said many times before, only a small percentage of women can get off through just vaginal penetration.
So how do you improve it?
When you’re getting on top, make sure that you’re farther up. Rather than being chest to chest, your chest should be where her shoulders are. Then get her to bend her legs to a 45 degree angle so that her hips tilt upwards. By doing this, the base of your shaft will maintain constant contact with the clitoris.
This modified missionary position is known as the CAT (Coital Alignment Technique) and according to a study in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, women who were unable to have an orgasm in the missionary position reported a 56 percent increase in orgasm frequency using the coital alignment technique.
#2. Reverse Cowgirl.
Reverse cowgirl may look great in movies and pictures but it’s hard for women to climax in this sex position because most of the time the penis has to bend pretty far at the base just to enter. Whenever you’re bending your penis to enter a woman, not only is it uncomfortable for her but you’re also putting your own penis at risk to be broken.
So how do you improve the reverse cowgirl position?
Try the “Asian Reverse Cowgirl” position. What’s the “Asian Reverse Cowgirl” position? It’s the same as the reverse cowgirl but the lady you’re doing it with is on her feet so she’s squatting over your dick. It’s more work for the lady but it changes the angle of her pelvis so that entry and stimulation are easier. Plus, your dick isn’t as badly at risk to be broken.
But remember, squatting is a lot more work than just riding so you might want to hold her waist to support her and take some strain off her knees.
#3. Pile driver
The pile driver sex position is a hot position because of its aggressive nature but let’s face it, it’s unsafe.
The lady’s weight is all on her neck and shoulders and when you add the downward thrusting of your dick into the equation, it spells nothing but aches and pain.
So how can you improve the pile driver?
Pop that pussy in a handstand. All you have to do is take the pressure off the shoulders and neck by getting her to stand on her hands while you hold her legs. For a more detailed take on how to have handstand sex, read How To Have Handstand Sex.
#4. Doggy style
Really? Doggy style is one of the worst sex positions?
Sadly, yes. Doggy style has to one of the worst sex positions because lots of women find it quite painful. Rear entry allows for some really deep penetration, which sounds hot but you’re most likely just ramming her cervix. Not hot.
Women also hate the doggy style sex position because it lacks intimacy.
So how do we fix it?
Keep your thrusts short and shallow rather than fast and deep. By doing this, you’ll be stimulating her the front third of her vagina, which is the most sensitive part. Also, it never hurts to reach around and give her clit a little tickle.
As for the intimacy, run your hands through her hair, lean forward and kiss her neck, pull her back to kiss her. Just remember that you have an amazing view of a sexy lady on all fours, but she’s just looking at the headboard. Headboard? More like head bored because it’s so damn boring, am I right? So don’t forget about your lady when you’re doing the doggy style. Keep her involved. She ain’t a piece of meat, you pig!
#5. Sex standing up
It’s hot but sex standing up has to one of the worst sex positions because it’s so damn difficult. It requires a lot of strength, stamina, flexibility, and athleticism, which we simply do not have.
Entry can be complicated if there’s a substantial height difference between the two of you. You can cheat by leaning against a wall or placing your partner on a counter but that could cause some serious strain on your partner’s tail bone.
So how do you improve sex standing up?
Why improve it?
Who needs it?
Beds are comfortable. Beds are bouncy. Beds are good for sex. Enjoy it!