In our new video of Ask Marni by Sex.com, Marni talks about when to approach women.
Here’s an email that got from Tim:
Late last night, I went grocery shopping. Upon going to checkout I saw this woman that I was extremely attracted to.
While we checked out I decided to take a different path to my car only to find out that she was parked near me. She was wearing biking gear and had a bike in the back of her truck. I think this intimidated me a little because I did not approach her. Reason being, I really thought I would be bothering her. I do this all the time and want to stop wasting great opportunities.
So my question to you is, when can I approach a woman?”
Alright Tim. The answer to your question is: “always!” If you see a woman you want, approach her! Delay or linger , and you can easily become the crippy guy, seemingly gawking from behind the burrito’s display.
Remember, it’s about you first, and her second. So don’t worry about her! Don’t worry about cripping her out. Worry about what you want. So it sounds there is a lot of pressure on your approach and you’re maybe thinking large picture instead of small picture. So here is the large picture:
“I’m going to approach this girl, she’s going to be attracted to me, I’m going to get her number, we’re going to have sex! Blablablablabla. The all shebang!”
That’s a lot of pressure to put on your approach. What I want you to do it’s to drawing it back a little, so that there is a smaller picture. A smaller picture or intension are more realistic. Plus, there are less emotionally charged, which make them easier to accomplish. So small picture is : “That girl is cute. I wanna talk to her and see if I like her.”
Having the smaller picture in mind before any approaches is going to make it so much easier on you. If you don’t attach a large picture outcome to your actions, then you’re not gonna feel as much pressure to succeed. I wanna comment on one more thing you said in your email to me.
Where you said: “You thought you would be bothering her”; I hear these assumptions from the men I’ve been working with all the time. Now, below are some assumptions, I’m constantly hearing from other men, which I called assumption gone wrong:
“She’s not my type. She won’t be into me. I’m too short for her. Too fat, bold, skinny for her. She probably has a boy friend. She’s busy right now. She doesn’t wanna be bothered. She’s with her friend and doesn’t wanna be interrupted”.
Whenever are here these assumptions, I always think it’s so interesting, men know so much about women they haven’t never spoken to before which lead to the conclusion that these men are mind-readers. I know for certain that’s not true! These assumptions are really just fears disguised as intelligent justification. These are what I would call conceived truth that stop us to getting what we want. Please do not fall into this, approach every women that picks your interest and decide what category you want put her in, after you have some fact to base it on.
Alright Tim, there’s your answer.