The best job I ever had was beach lifeguard. Between 1989 and 1999, me, David Hasselhoff, Pamela Anderson, Yasmine Bleeth, and Brooke Burns would just run along the beach in slow motion saving the lives of sexy beach-goers unfamiliar with the dangers of beach lifestyle.
What are the dangers of beach lifestyle?
Everything from earthquakes and shark attacks to serial killers and nuclear bombs would qualify as dangers of beach lifestyle. Occasionally we would save the odd person from drowning but that’s only if there wasn’t too much drama between me and the other lifeguard or if we weren’t busy running in slow-mo (which we did a lot of).
The second best job I ever had is the one that I currently have working for Sex.com.
Working for Sex.com may not be as glamorous as saving lives on the beach, but there’s always a fresh pot of coffee, cupboards full of snacks, and a fridge full of beer whenever I come in. Also I should mention that everyone that works for Sex.com is awesome. Plus, the warm glow of my brand new iMac (provided by the owners of Sex.com because they’re awesome) is a lot more forgiving on my skin than the harsh UV rays on the beach.
No matter how much praise I give to Sex.com as an employer, I can never do it justice because the only way you’ll ever know that it’s the best is to work for Sex.com. Which is why I wanted to talk to you…
SEX.COM WANTS TO HIRE YOU!
That’s right. Sex.com is hiring. But it’s not for just any old position. We’re looking for the “New Face of Sex.com”
What does the “New Face of Sex.com” do?
Your job will be to:
- Make your own sexy (non-nude or adult) web-series about sex
- Contribute to your favorite blog, The Sex.com Blog
- Fly all around the world to cool events to represent Sex.com
- Interact with our legion of fans on social media
Sounds pretty sweet right?
I just want to clarify that you are not required to be nude. In fact, we talked it over and we would prefer if you were never nude. There’s plenty of nudity on Sex.com already. We just want you to be yourself and represent Sex.com.
If you’re selected as the “New Face of Sex.com”, you’ll get a comfy salary and a $5,000 signing bonus. How could you say no to this opportunity in this economy?
But before you apply, make sure that:
- You have strong communication skills
- You are confident, out-going, charismatic, and an all around likeable personality
- You understand how to use computers and the internet
- You are comfortable with sexual and adult themes
- You are over 21 years old
- You are a woman (men need not apply)
Obviously, we’d prefer it if you had some video, interview, and blogging experience but it’s not a must. Charisma is way more important than any tangible skills.
So how do you apply?
Send an email to email@example.com with your name, phone number, and location.
Include a photograph, a 250-word writing sample and a 2-minute video demo. Applicants without these samples will not be considered, but we do appreciate your interest.
Remember to include your name and age!
The winner will be selected by September 6th and announced on the 15th!