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Masturbation

How Many Times Have You Been Caught Masturbating?

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masturbation jpg How Many Times Have You Been Caught Masturbating?

Caught you masturbating, girl!

Two San Diego politicians (a Democratic state senator and a city councilwoman) have come forward to accuse the leading Republican candidate for San Diego Mayor, Carl DeMaio, of masturbating in public restrooms.

Senator Ben Hueso said that he found DeMaio at urinal with his pants down around his ankles twice. At the office! Hueso told the VoiceofOC.org, “DeMaio was masturbating. He jumped, caught by surprise. He jumped to the sink … saying ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry’ about six times. Then washed his hands, darted out.”

Of course, this is a pretty serious accusation…but I don’t live in San Diego so I just think it’s funny.

Getting caught masturbating sucks. However, catching someone masturbating can be quite funny. I wish I was the one opening the bathroom door to find a senator masturbating at a urinal.

If there’s one thing that I know about all of you, it’s that you all like masturbating.

But masturbation always comes with the risk of getting caught.

That’s why I want to ask you something… 

In your entire masturbation career, how many times have you been caught masturbating?

Personally, I’ve been caught masturbating three times.

The worst by far was when my landlord came over to show my apartment without letting me know. So there I was, fully naked in the living room going to town on myself when in walks in a 60 year old Hasidic Jewish man with two 20 year old girls.

All I could do was slam my laptop closed and cross my legs. My landlord proceeded to give the girls a tour of the apartment, explaining to them the utilities and what would be included, while I just sat there completely nude, trying to hide my erect penis.

Since then, I’ve never masturbated in a room without a door that locks.

Feel free to share your embarrassing getting caught stories in the comments.

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