Sex is complicated. No one understands that better than me. That’s why if you have a question about sex, I’m prepared to answer your questions with sexpert sex advice in this special Sex.com Blog feature, Chico’s Sex Advice.
Today’s question comes from loyal Sex.com Blog pawn EJ.
“My boyfriend and his roommate sleep together in a bunk bed. I am concerned as my boyfriend is 24 and his roommate is 26. What tips do you have for discreet sexual encounters in a bunk bed?”
Excellent question, EJ!
Let me start by saying that I hope your boyfriend had the foresight to claim the bottom bunk. Though everyone always wants the top bunk, you don’t if you’re planning on having lots of bunk bed sex because the bed frame shakes more from movement up top. Plus, you don’t want to come crashing down on the poor sap that’s trying to pretend he’s sleeping. Because sooner or later, you will come crashing down.
So if your boyfriend has chosen the top bunk, make him trade. When he asks why he should give up his prime real estate, just tell him you two will be having more sex if he’s on the bottom bunk. If the promise of more sex doesn’t convince him to make the trade, dump him.
Now that your boyfriend is settled into the bottom bunk, the best thing for you to do is to find a girlfriend or casual sex partner for the roommate. If you’re looking to be discreet, the only way to ensure it is to get him out of the room for as many nights as possible. Get him on Tinder or some other casual sex app so he can find a place to stay that’s not directly above you.
Of course, no matter how much casual sex the roommate has, there are going to be nights where the three of you are all together in the bedroom. When that happens, wait for sure signs of sleep before having sex on the bottom bunk. It’s just common courtesy.
The key to having sex with someone else in the room is keeping quiet. I know it’s fun to be as loud as possible during sex, but when someone’s sleeping above you it’s just good manners to keep it down. There’s no reason why trying to be quiet during sex isn’t hot. Removing sound for sex is just like removing sight. It allows you to focus on the physical sensations instead of aural stimulation and the silence will create a taboo atmosphere. Taboo sex = hot sex. Make sense? Good.
When it comes to sex positions, you want to avoid ones with a lot of height and wide ranges of motion. The closer you are to each other will increase the taboo atmosphere, build intimacy, and you’ll conserve motion, which will keep your sleeping roommate from waking up or crashing down on to you.
I recommend limiting your sex position repertoire to these three sex positions while on the bottom bunk:
Down Dog aka The Flatiron
Of course, if you’re finding that you’re not comfortable having sex with someone above you, there’s no reason you need to restrict sex to a bed. Jump in the shower together, take over the living room or kitchen, sneak into public washrooms together, go shopping and jump into a fitting room for sex. The world is full of places to have sex, so if the bedroom isn’t an option, go explore!
If all else fails, ask yourself this question: “What’s wrong with my bedroom that has no roommate?” Is there any reason why you can’t do all the hosting? Sure it’s tough to bear that weight but is it worth it to constantly worry and be inhibited about being discreet during sex?
EJ, thank you for your question. I hope this edition of Chico’s Sex Advice was helpful.
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