Sex is complicated. No one understands that better than me. That’s why if you have a question about sex, I’m prepared to answer your questions with sexpert sex advice in this special Sex.com Blog feature, Chico’s Sex Advice.
Today’s question comes from loyal Sex.com Blog pawn KenSexy.
“Hey Chico Dusty,
We’ve been talking and realized we all have been wondering the same thing… We all like rough sex but have been wondering if it’s okay to go for it the first time we have sex with a new person? What would you recommend?
3 College Roommates”
Excellent question, KenSexy! Though I must admit, it’s a tough one because you and your roommates are awfully vague about the rough sex you like.
Rough sex can be characterized in many different ways. Do you and your roommates like a lot of hair pulling, dirty talking, choking, bondage, biting or spanking? When you have rough sex, is there a dominant and a submissive? Is your version of rough sex just less intimate sex positions?
The only way I can help is by having lots of rough sex with you and your roommates.
But while I let you three college roommates figure out what kind of rough sex you’re going to have with me and whether you want to have rough sex individually or all together in a rough sex foursome, I just want to remind you that first impressions are everything, even in sex.
Before you have rough sex with someone new, I want you to consider whether or not this is someone you plan on seeing again. If not, then by all means rock his or her world with some fun, rough sex (whatever it may be, you’ll have to show me).
But if it’s someone you plan on seeing again, I would wait to get rough. Like I said, first impressions are everything. So if the first time you have sex with him, it’s really rough, he’ll think that rough sex is the only thing you like and it’s what he’ll expect every time you have sex. It’s best to just break the ice with some regular sex so that your partner doesn’t have unrealistic expectations (unless of course you want all your sex to be rough sex. Again, you’ll just have to show me).
Another reason why I would wait is because it’s easier to get a feel for one another’s body’s, sexual tendencies, likes, and dislikes when you keep it gentle. Resist having rough sex and focus on building your sexual chemistry. That way when it’s time for the sex to get rougher, it’s going to be best damn rough sex you’ve ever had.
Also, if you plan on seeing him again, it’s never a bad idea to leave yourself room to grow and experiment sexually. Lots of men can confirm that there’s nothing worse than blowing your load prematurely and that’s what you’re doing when you have rough sex the first time you’re with a new partner. Just like in life, you always want to have an ace in the hole just in case things start to go stale or routine.
However, these are just my first impressions. You still need to show me exactly what you and your roommates mean by rough sex. Afterwards, I’ll have a better idea as to whether or not you should be having rough sex the first time you sleep with someone.