Chico’s Sex Advice – Sex With Ghosts

Sex is complicated. No one understands that better than me. That’s why if you have a question about sex, I’m prepared to answer your questions with sexpert sex advice in this special Blog feature, Chico’s Sex Advice.

Today’s question comes from loyal Blog pawn, Lo-Ugh Srr-Roy.

Lo-Ugh asks,

“Hi Chico. I’d like to bother you with the sensual quandary of my cubicle mate. She is into ghosts but doesnt know if she can sustain a sexual relationship with one. What advice do you have for her?”

Excellent question, Lo-Ugh! I do have some advice for her but she’s not going to like it…

Personally, I’ve never had a sexual encounter with a ghost. I’ve never even seen a ghost nor felt the presence. One time I thought I saw a ghost but really it was just my friend John who hid in a closet and jumped out and scared the crap out of me.

Since I have no reason to believe that ghosts are any more real than vampires, werewolves, and Eskimos, I just think your friend is plain old crazy. My first piece of advice would be to seek psychiatric help.

No, I’m just playing.

Even though ghosts aren’t real, your friend has a fetish known as “spectrophilia”, which is surprisingly common. According to a poll I conducted a long time ago, 75% of people would have sex with a ghost if they had the chance. So thankfully she’s not alone.

What I would recommend is seeking out a fellow spectrophile and engaging in some sexy ghost role-play. Though a fellow spectrophile may not be easy to find, it’s easier than finding something that doesn’t exist, a ghost.

Let’s pretend for a moment that ghosts are real and they’re exactly like they are in movies and TV. One characteristic of ghosts that stands out to me is they’re unpredictability. They just pop up in your reflection, or float over your bed, or jump out of a closet. I suppose it’s a benefit of not being bound by the physical world but if you’re trying to maintain a sexual relationship with a ghost, it’s just not going to work. You’re basically getting booty called by a spirit who just comes and goes as he or she pleases. Is that really what you want? For that reason, I would not recommend pursuing a sexual relationship with a ghost.

At least with a sexy ghost role-play, you have the benefit of existing on the same plane of existence. Though you won’t actually be having sex with a ghost, you will at least have some stability and consistency while having ghostly sex.

There is just one more thing you could potentially do to pursue a sexual relationship with a ghost…become a ghost. Right? Would that work? Become a ghost to have sex with all the ghosts? Or is the whole reason ghost sex is such a turn-on is because inter-spacial sex is so wrong?

I don’t know anymore. Hopefully your friend found this week’s Chico’s Sex Advice helpful Lo-Ugh.

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Published on: November 21, 2013

Filled Under: Funny, Sex, Sex & Dating Tips

Views: 1523

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