UNCENSORED!

Couple Caught Having Sex Near Dumpsters

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o DUMPSTER DIVE 570 Couple Caught Having Sex Near Dumpsters

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Police are looking for a couple caught in photos and video celebrating St. Paddy’s Day by banging near two Dumpsters in Newark, Del.  

But my question is, do the police really need to get involved?

Here you have two people, clearly very drunk, banging in broad day light next to two Dunkin Donuts dumpsters. Isn’t that enough humiliation?

Now I’ve never been to Newark, Delaware. Why would I? Newark, New Jersey was bad enough. Why would I go to a more boring version of America’s worst city? But there must have been a better place to bone other than between the Dunkin Donuts dumpsters. How does this even happen?

I think it probably went a little something like this…

Guy: “I’m wasted.”

Blonde in Cowboy Boots: “Me too.”

Guy: “Should we bone?”

Blonde in Cowboy Boots: “Yeah sure, let’s take a cab back to my place.”

Guy: “I have a better idea. You see that Dunkin Donuts?”

Blonde in Cowboy Boots: “Sex in the bathroom of a Dunkin Donuts? No way.”

Guy: “Ok, what about the dumpsters behind it?”

Blonde in Cowboy Boots: “Wouldn’t that smell terrible and everyone will see us?”

Guy: “Whatever. I’m wasted.”

Blonde in Cowboy Boots: “Me too.”

And then…

Delaware St Patricks Day Fans Have Naughty Time Couple Caught Having Sex Near Dumpsters

UNCENSORED!

What gives? Did these two not read The Top 10 Places To Have Quickie Sex?

There’s a video too but it sucks.

So in conclusion, Newark Police please leave this crazy couple alone.

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I have to wear my glasses when I go to the theater. If you want to reach me directly, email me at cdusty@sex.com or Tweet at me on Twitter, @CDustysexblog.

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