Everybody Is Having Sex at Work
How often have you been looking at porn videos or porn pictures set in an office or place of business and thought, “Sex at work? Yeah right! That doesn’t happen in real life.”
As much as I love office porn, real office sex (or wherever you work, not just offices) seems totally impossible because you’re at work. Maybe my work ethic is too strong and I am too deserving of a $500 to $10,000 raise that I could never drop whatever I was working on to have sex*.
For some reason, I thought that everyone else would choose working over sex while at work, but Business Insider‘s new Sex-At-Work survey has revealed that everyone is having sex at work.
If I’m not having sex at work…and you’re not having sex at work…who the heck is having sex at work?
Let’s find out.
According to the Business Insider survey, 54% of participants had sex with a colleague:
Of that 54% who successfully had sex with a coworker, once again 54% had sex with multiple coworkers (over the years and not necessarily in hot office orgies).
Since just over half of the people surveyed are having sex or had sex with a coworker, I needed to know what the trick was to having office sex.
Luckily Business Insider was able to provide me with some very valuable data:
84.62% of people think colleagues should be allowed to have sex. But for the most part, you should not be having sex with your subordinates if you’re a manager. Keep it between colleagues because although the power dynamic between boss and employee can make for some amazing sex, it’s not healthy. It can really mess you up.
Luckily 64% of people agree:
And even though it may be company policy to declare relationships (whether they are emotional or purely sexual) to human resources, an overwhelming majority of those surveyed agreed that you can’t declare anything to anybody.
But most importantly of all, I wanted to know if people were actually having sex in the office.
Hooking up with co-workers is great, but I don’t care that co-workers go on dates and sometimes have sex. I wanted to know that people were having sex when they’re working late or coming in early or when everyone was out to lunch or they had agreed to meet in the supply closet instead of attending a meeting for the big account. I didn’t care about the specificities of the circumstances, as long as people were having sex in the office like all those office pornos I’ve seen, I would be happy.
Business Insider came through in a big way by asking this tough question.
And they found out that nearly half of people who’ve slept with a co-worker have had SEX IN THE OFFICE!
The best part about this survey is not that everyone is sleeping with their coworkers or that people actually have sex in offices, it’s this final statistic:
9 out 10 people are glad that they had sex with a co-worker.
I wonder how people would answer, “Are you glad you had sex with that girl you met at the bar?”
Maybe it’s just me, but in my experience I’ve always regretted having sex with someone (sorry ladies). So only 1 out of 10 regretting sex with a co-worker seems unusually good. Maybe sex in the office is just that good.
All I know is that I need some sexy new co-workers. And maybe an office with fewer windows…and a door that locks…and that is sound proof…and a box of kleenex for the post-sex tears…
In the meantime, check out some office porn.
*I know it seems like there’s been no effort put into these blog posts, but there is. A very small amount, however.