Everybody loves Guru

Artist rendering of typical American Love Guru

When you pay someone to watch you and your significant other have sex in a hotel room, it’s usually some variety of prostitute because you into some of that kinky shit.

They arrive and the money’s already on the table. He or she says, “What did you have planned for the hour?”

Then your wife chimes in and says, “We just want you to watch.” Your heart sinks because you’ve been having sex with the same woman for the last thirteen years and last Monday when she suggested you do something crazy with a hooker you thought your luck has finally turned around. Well…that’s 150 dollars that you’ll never see again.

But now there’s no need to mope! Instead of that greedy prostitute watch you make boring sex on your wife, you can have a trained professional (Love Guru) watch you have sex.

I know what you’re thinking, “I’d rather have that greedy prostitute with the giant cold-sore on her lip watch me and my wife than some Verne Troyer look-a-like.” Don’t worry, there’s an upside.

First of all, they don’t necessarily look like Mike Myers.

More importantly, instead of a prostitute quietly counting her money or applying a medicated salve onto her sores they can give advice and help for the frustrated couple while they watch. This is what New York City sex therapist/Love Guru Eric Amaranth calls a “guided session“. Some people can learn through discussion but when it comes to something as hands on (get it?) it’s surely easier to learn by doing.

Sounds great, right? But what if you’re one of the 6965493523 people who doesn’t live in New York City? How will your sex life ever improve?

Once again, the internet has come through with a solution. You can now get guided session with Eric Amaranth over Skype! From anywhere in the world, he can issue instructions and make suggestions that will improve your sex technique and boost your confidence. If this sounds something you need then why not contact him for a free consultation on his website http://www.sexlifecoachnyc.com

And if you’re feeling bashful, remember that conventional will only teach you a very basic anatomy, all the disease you can get, and remind you that an unplanned pregnancy would suck. So if you have that $150 and you’re sure you won’t hiring a prostitute, why not learn how to have amazing sex?

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Published on: November 28, 2012

Filled Under: Sex News

Views: 415

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  • http://wow.com mr papa man

    great blog post! i LOVE austin powers!

  • glen

    excellent artist rendering

  • http://www.sex.com Chico Dusty

    Media Department has been working overtime

  • http://www.sex.com Chico Dusty

    What’s up Mr. Papa Man?