Paris Hilton is making a musical comeback with Young Money Cash Money Billionaires.
Her first single is called “Good Time” and the video features Paris dancing around all sexy. Plus there’s a Lil Wayne verse.
You’ve probably already made up your mind on Paris Hilton’s attempt at a musical comeback, but watch the video anyways:
Well, “Good Time” is better than the last Paris Hilton song I heard, “Stars Are Blind“. But that’s like saying getting stabbed in the ear with a new knife is better than getting stabbed in the ear with an old knife.
At least Weezy’s verse in Paris’s song isn’t nearly as bad as his verse in Limp Bizkit’s YMCMB debut single “Ready To Go“.
And let’s face it, for 32, Paris Hilton looks great. Whatever anti-aging treatment she’s spending her inheritance on sure is working. I wonder how Nicky Hilton is looking these days…
I heard a rumor that when an artist gets signed to YMCMB, they are allowed to pick any three artists on the label to do a song with. Lil Wayne is the obvious choice because no matter how hard he phones it in, it’ll still be a hit.
If there is truth to this rumor, then I hope Paris Hilton’s next single features Nicki Minaj. Just think of the possibilities for a super sexy music video if you get these two together. I’d like to see Nicki Minaj dominate Paris Hilton in a softcore lesbian sex music video. Here’s how I’m imagining it: Nicki Minaj has Paris Hilton on a leash and forces Paris to worship her curves.
It would be an instant hit!
The real question that continues to go unanswered is why Paris Hilton is making a musical comeback. She released one album in 2006 and everyone hated it.
Paris Hilton is known for partying, reality TV, and of course…the Paris Hilton sex tape.
Her choice to revive her music career instead of her far more successful and well-known TV and porn careers is super strange.
It’s been 12 years since the Paris Hilton sex tape came out and I think we can all agree that another Paris Hilton sex tape would be a real treat. Especially if it’s Nicki Minaj dominating Paris in the sex tape.
Let’s watch the Paris Hilton sex tape to refresh our memories:
The Paris Hilton sex tape is way more boring than I remember. Don’t get me wrong, it was never worth the 80 hours of downloading in the first place, but it’s just not exciting.
And that nightvision…terrible! It’s like watching two racoons do it behind the dumpster at Dunkin Donuts. You all know that I have my problems with fake sex tapes because they are deceptive and profit off the stupidity of millions (Farrah Abraham in particular), but at least fake sex tapes have good lighting.
Pro tip: If you’re ever having trouble figuring out if you’re watching a professional porn video or an amateur porn video, just look at the lighting. If it’s lit like a normal house, it’s an amateur porn video. If it’s bright like a movie set, it’s a professional porn video.
Paris Hilton would be in the public consciousness no matter what because she’s a rich, beautiful, white girl that likes to party with celebrities. She became a celebrity in her own right thanks to her sex tape.
The only sensible thing for her to do would be to film another sex tape. This time with proper lighting and maybe some more direction. You know music might not work out, but another sex tape definitely will.