Do you know what day it is today?
It’s the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year and the first official day of summer.
In pagan times, the solstice was celebrated with bonfires. They believed that the bonfires would protect them from evil spirits that were roaming free with the sun turning southward.
Of course, we all know now that bonfires don’t protect you from evil spirits. If anything, evil spirits are attracted to the fire.
Even though the pagans were a little mixed up, the longest day of the year and the first official day of summer are still something worth celebrating.
This Summer Solstice, don’t celebrate with an evil spirit-warding bonfire, celebrate with a sex party!
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “But Chico, I don’t know how to host a sex party!”
Well, that’s what I’m here for! I’m going to teach you how to throw a killer Summer Solstice sex party. The best part (aside from all the sex)? It’s not even exclusive to the Summer Solstice. With these tips, you’ll have the know-how to host a sex party whenever you please.
So let’s do it to it.
How to Host a Sex Party:
Step 1 – Guest-list
The key to hosting a good party is a lot of people, right? You want everyone to come kick it and get real drunk. That’s not the case when hosting a sex party.
When hosting a sex party, you want to make sure that the only people attending are open-minded, sexually adventurous people. Inviting prudes (even if they’re super hot) will not be conducive to group sex. All it takes is one person’s hesitation and then your entire sex party is ruined. And we can’t have that.
That’s why it’s important to make a guest-list of people you know that will want to participate. Avoid finding guests to your sex party online. Just because you never know what kind of freaks you might find online. Online is a last resort.
Once you have the guest-list together, call them up and invite them to your sex party. Be upfront about the sex party. Inviting open-minded, sexually adventurous people to your sex party under false pretences will be off-putting and they may not want to get down. And we can’t have that either.
Step 2 – Where’s it going down?
The thing about having a sex party is that not only is it super hot and sexy, it can also get very noisy. You have to evaluate whether or not your home is the best place to host a sex party.
If you live at your parents house or you have nosey neighbors with strong morals, don’t have it at home. If your home is on the smaller side, don’t have it at home either.
You want a spacious, clean, private environment so that your sex party guests will feel comfortable going in and out of each other. If you can afford it, try renting a luxury suite. Or split the cost with your sex party guests. As long as you have a spacious, clean, private place to have the sex party, everything will be fine.
Step 3- Cleanliness is key
Sex parties can get messy. There is a 100% chance that there will be a huge mess to clean up after the party. That doesn’t mean you don’t have to clean up beforehand.
Change your sheets, pick up the piles of garbage in your bedroom, light some scented candles, whatever. Cleanliness will help set the mood because your sex party guests will feel more at ease in a clean place that’s ready to be dirtied up.
Step 4 – Icebreakers
So your sex party guests are arriving. Do you tell them to strip down and get straight to the sex? No. Although it is tempting not to waste any time, your guests need to take some time to get to know each other. I know it’s boring but think of it as a kind of foreplay. It gets people comfortable and more interested in having sex with each other.
Serve some wine for social lubrication. Not beer or harder alcohol. Beer will bloat your sex party guests and hard alcohol will make them sloppy. Wine goes down smooth and the loosening effect is just right.
This is also a good opportunity to play some music to set the mood. I know whenever I have a sex party I like to play I Have Been In You by Frank Zappa over and over again:
It’s never a bad idea to play some games as icebreakers either. Play games like Would You Rather, Two Truths and a Lie, Truth or Dare or just make people tell hilarious/sexy stories.
Step 5 – Ground Rules
Once everyone’s in a good mood and comfortable with each other, it’s time to make sure everyone is on the same page. That means establishing some ground rules for the group sex.
The rules are entirely up to you and your sex party guests but here are some suggestions to get you started:
- Everyone wears condoms, non-negotiable
- No creampies
- No anal
- Two quick spanks means trade partners
Step 6 – SAFE SEX
Now you’re finally ready to have sex. But if it’s not safe sex, your sex party will be a disaster. You don’t want your sex party to be responsible for getting someone pregnant or sick.
Have lots of condoms. Lots and lots of condoms. Have the full spectrum of sizes, extra small condoms to magnum-plus condoms.
Step 7 – Post-Sex
So you and your guests just fucked each other’s brains out. And it was great? But what now?
It’s time to clean up. Not the jizz covered room that you’re. It’s time for your guests to clean up.
Make sure to have toothbrushes, soap, shampoo, towels, wet-wipes, kleenex, whatever. Your guests will appreciate the extra effort and they’ll know that no one throws a better sex party than you.
Good luck! Make sure to share your sex party stories in the comments!