Introducing the Home Dildo Maker!

In part 4 of our Valentine’s Day Gift Guide, we told you about the Clone-A-Willy kit that lets you make dildo out of a real live penis.

But really, do you really want to use a replica of the same boring old penis that struggles to get you off? Am I right, ladies?

Well, thankfully Francesco Morackini has created the world’s first Dildo Maker so you can make cool new dildos right in your own home!

Dildo 01 1200 Introducing the Home Dildo Maker!

Dildo Maker

Basically, the Dildo Maker is an electric pencil sharpener but instead of sharpening pencils it turns phallic food and objects into little phalluses.

Here is a simple equation to demonstrate how it works:

Dildo 03 1200 Introducing the Home Dildo Maker!

It works with pretty much anything. Zucchini, sausage, candles, Popsicles, sticks. Whatever phallic object you’ve always wanted to masturbate with can now be easily inserted.

The only problem is that the Dildo Maker isn’t readily available to the public. It’s more like an art project at this point in time.

However, we’ve got hope that the food play fans of the world will stand up and demand one of these bad boys. At least we hope. Personally, I’ve never put any phallic food inside of me other than orally. And that was only to get rid of my terrible hunger pangs, not for pleasure in any way.

ANYWAYS…

If the Dildo Maker does hit stores across the country, I want all the men on the blog to promise me something…Don’t try to put your penis in the Dildo Maker. Sure, the idea of a smoother, better looking penis may be appealing but it’s more likely to have the tip of your penis cut off than have it beautifully sculpted. If you don’t believe me, I recommend sticking your finger in an electric pencil sharpener and seeing what happens.

Hope everyone has a good weekend! I know mine’s going to be good because I’ll be working on converting a stunbolt gun to turn foods like watermelons and pies into male masturbators.

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Stunbolt Gun/Male Masturbator Maker Prototype

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Published on: February 22, 2013

Filled Under: Sex News

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