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Lose your virginity over and over again with Hymenshop.com’s fake hymen

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Youth+Revolt+Portraits+2009+Toronto+International+ys52jzLj64ol 207x300 Lose your virginity over and over again with Hymenshop.coms fake hymen

Artist rendering of typical American virgin

How important is your virginity to you? For most people they spend ever waking hour between the ages of 14 to 23 trying to lose it. I too hope to lose my virginity someday…

Losing my virginity is not the topic of today’s blog. No instead, we’re wondering why someone would go through a procedure to make it seem like they were still a virgin. Specifically women and their hymen’s.

Obviously, in some cultures a woman risks being ostracized and even killed if her hymen is broken before marriage, which is why Hymenorrhaphy or hymen reconstruction surgery exists. It seems crazy to want to hang on to your virginity (like I have for 30 long years) but different strokes for different folks.

But surgery is complicated and expensive. Wouldn’t it be great if you could just restore your hymen in the comfort of your own home? Well for $29.95 you can get your very artificial hymen and become a virgin again in five minutes!

All the way from the streets of Hong Kong, women looking to become a virgin again can buy a packet of fake blood and membrane that will allow you to:

  • Marry in confidence – your secret is kept
  • Spice up marriage life
  • Surprise your partner

(These are the actual selling points from http://hymenshop.com/)

New York Magazine tested the “Joan of Arc Red” from Hymenshop.com. Here’s an overview of what they found out:

The kit comes sealed in a silver packages, nestled in a bed of pink satin. There is a fifteen minute window after insertion to have sex, otherwise the membrane dissolves and the “Red Medical Food Dye” is released. There is no breaking involved, it just gives the appearance that the hymen is breaking.

But as Hymen Shop explains, “The first and foremost purpose of the artificial hymen kit is to provide the visual effect human being blood coming out of the vagina as a proof of virginity. The ‘breaking’ sensation in the intercourse is a second priority, and it’s an elusive one since it is very subjective with the individual man and the construct of the female hymen.”

$30 dollars to awkwardly simulate an uncomfortable memory that leaves a big “Red Medical Food Dye” mess at the end of it? Sign me up!

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I have to wear my glasses when I go to the theater. If you want to reach me directly, email me at chicodustyblog@gmail.com, add me to your circles on Google+ or Tweet at me on Twitter.

Comments

  • http://www.cooterclark.tumblr.com cooterclark

    fabulous! simply fabulous! I cant wait to surprise my partners

  • http://www.sex.com Chico Dusty

    I wonder what makes Hymen Shop’s “Red Medical Food Dye” medical and not just “Red Food Dye”

  • Kennedy

    In response to Mr. Duty: Probably because it doesnt stain the skin like a regular red food dye would. On the website it explains that this fake hymen kit is particularly effective because it does not stain the skin, creating real blood effect. There must be some advanced science involved in that.

    Secondly: I am curious about this product! It seems very interesting but all the while a little suspect.

  • http://www.sex.com Chico Dusty

    Please, Mr. Duty was my father. Call me Mr. Dusty.

    Kennedy, you’ve outed my big secret…I can’t read…

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