Lulu app brings accountability to dating

130207 luluapp.jpg.CROP .article250 medium Lulu app brings accountability to dating

“Lulu” in action

Cosmopolitan called it, “Sex and the City marries Facebook.” They also called it, “Yelp for boys.” Redditors hated it. So what is it?

It is Lulu a new female-friendly dating app for smartphones.

How female-friendly? It wouldn’t even let me log on to check it out because I am a man.

*Just so you know, all my facts come from various sources around the internet and my opinions on formed on that information. Personally, I thought that we as a society were beyond sex-segregation but I guess I’m wrong.

So what is Lulu?

Cosmo nailed it when they said Lulu was Yelp for boys. It’s a database of men for women. They can share secret information and reviews about men as provided by other Lulu users.

In theory, this is a great idea. One that probably should have existed a long time ago when social media first took its stranglehold on our lives. We all know that women talk about men. They have to because men can be real pigs (you are looking at pornography while you read this, remember). So by compiling all the data available on every single man in the world, women can make informed decisions before they go on a date or sleep with someone.

All you have to do is download the app to your smartphone. Log-in to Facebook to prove you’re a woman (and that’s exactly how far I got). Then you scroll through all your male Facebook friends to award them various points (points for manners, style, habits, ambitions, look, etc.). You can even assign hashtags for their strengths and weaknesses. For example: #Smart, #BigDumbIdiot, #OnlyLookingForSex, #SmellsFingerTipsWhileTalking.

Then whenever you meet a man you like, you can look him up on Lulu to see what other girls are saying about him. Just like Yelp! But for boys.

However, Slate points out that there’s no filtering system for the men you’re supposed to rate. Meaning you’ll be faced with the difficult task of rating how hot your cousin is, bringing back to the surface those confusing feelings you had bottled up for so long after your parents caught you two kissing in the family barn. BangWithFriends, the Facebook sex app, had a similar problem, which we can only presume will be resolved in time.

The other question the Slate review asks is how do you curtail the nastiness? Because let’s face it, women can be catty.  And the app asks  women to publicly sexualize and sometimes shame men without their consent. Is this not the text-based version of those horrible revenge porn sites that have been in the news lately?

Well not exactly, because there is Lulu Dude which allows men just a glimpse of how they’re doing on Lulu. You can see your reputation, who’s checking you out, and you can even beg to be reviewed (presumably because everyone else gave you a bad review). Lulu Dude allows for some certain checks and balances but the access is still limited enough that you’ll never know exactly what women are saying about you.

So is Lulu unethical or super practical?

Without being able to fully access Lulu, all I have to say is that it remains to be seen. One thing Lulu does do is it makes dating more accountable. That’s all. It’s the final nail in the coffin to secrets, which was bound to happen sooner or later in this crazy, fucked up internet age we live in.

Guys, you can’t act like dinguses anymore because your reputation is at stake. One little slip up and every woman in the world could know about it.

And girls, please don’t abuse this power. Heterosexual men will already bend over backwards to see just one boob or one butt-cheek. There’s no need to make us go through more agony.

With all these new dating apps, does anyone even go on dates anymore?

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Published on: February 7, 2013

Filled Under: Sex News

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