Welcome back to another edition of Chico’s Sex Advice where I use all my expertise as a sexpert to answer any questions my beloved readers may have about sex.
Today’s question comes from Keegan. Keegan writes:
“Hi Chico! I just 69’d with my girlfriend for the first time and we were sort of disappointed with it. If we could, we would nominate 69ing for the most overrated sex acts. Do you have any tips to make 69ing better?”
Excellent question Keegan!
Let me start by saying that I wish you had been more specific as to why 69ing for the first time was a disappointment. I’m going to try my best to give you advice to enjoy the 69 more, but without knowing specifically what you didn’t like about it, I’m worried you won’t get a good answer. But whatever, here goes nothing!
69ing was invented many, many moons ago so that lovers could pleasure each other orally without having to wait their turn. While both lovers receiving oral sex simultaneously sounds good on paper, the truth is it’s hard to give someone oral sex when you’re receiving oral sex because it feels so damn good that you can’t help but feel distracted from the task at hand.
Keegan, maybe this is why you were disappointed with 69? Too distracting?
If that’s the case, then just focus!
It’s not uncommon for men to have a hard time lasting a long time while 69ing. So if you found that you were focused more on lasting a long time rather than licking your partner, then please start the 69 by focusing solely on her. By focusing on your girlfriend before she starts to suck you off, your arousal levels will be in synch.
If you’re going to 69 make sure you’ve showered. Normally oral sex isn’t smelly and disgusting but when performing the 69, both partners’s faces are in close proximity to the body’s stinkiest areas, which can really ruin the 69 for both partners. So please, shower beforehand.
Keegan, maybe this is why you were disappointed with 69? Too smelly?
Traditionally, 69ing has been done with the man on his back and the woman straddling the man. That’s incorrect. Though logistically it’s easier for the man to be on his back because of the erect penis, the positioning of the 69 should not be determined by gender. Whoever wants to be in control should be on top. If your girlfriend is the submissive type, she should be on her back. If she’s not comfortable having you on top, then tell her to be more assertive as the top. Really grind herself into your face and such.
If that doesn’t work, there’s no reason why one of you needs to be on your back with the other straddling over top. If you feel like you’re strong enough, try 69ing standing up. If you’re feeling more intimate, try 69ing with both of you lying on your side. 69ing on your side is good because it’s more comfortable for both of you because you both can support your heads with pillows or each other’s thighs.
Alternatively, if you’re feeling flexible, you can try the Malkova 69, made famous by pornstar Mia Malkova. Let me show you what I mean:
Keegan, honestly if you didn’t like 69ing, that’s totally fine. You don’t have to like it just because people have been snickering at any mention of the number in any context it comes up in.
Just remember that the first time you had sex it probably wasn’t that good but you still want to have it all the time. All sex is just trial and error. So try 69ing again with these tips and see if it’s any better. If it’s not, then it’s just not for you and there’s no shame in that.
Hopefully this advice has been helpful.
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