‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that Mia Malkova soon would be there.
The teens were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads; and mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap, had just settled down for a long winter’s nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below, when, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a sexy young driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be Mia Malkova. More rapid than eagles her coursers they came, and she whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
On, COMET! on CUPID! on, DONDER and BLITZEN!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky, so up to the house-top the coursers they flew, with the sleigh full of sex toys, and Mia Malkova too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof the prancing and pawing of each little hoof. As I drew in my hand, and was turning around, down the chimney Mia Malkova came with a bound.
She was dressed all in fur, from her head to her foot, and her clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot; a bundle of sex toys she had flung on his back, and she looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
Her eyes — how they twinkled! Her dimples how merry! Her cheeks were like roses, her nose like a cherry! Her droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and her breasts ‘neath her chin were as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe she held tight in her teeth, And the smoke it encircled her head like a wreath; She had a lean face and a little round booty, that shook, when she laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
She was sexy and fine, a right jolly old elf, and I laughed when I saw her, in spite of myself;
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head, soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work, stripping off her stockings; then turned with a jerk, and laying her finger aside her clit:
Why don’t I just show you what happened next instead of conveying it to you in rhyme:
Then, she sprang to her sleigh, to her team gave a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard her exclaim, ere her drove out of sight…
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!
I just wanted to prove to you all that Mia Malkova is just as, if not more, magical than that Santa guy everyone’s talking/singing about.