Miley Cyrus can’t stop trying to be sexy in the weirdest possible ways.
Wait. Did I say sexy? Sorry I got confused because usually when a celebrity simulates oral sex in front of thousands of fans, it’s sexy. Miley Cyrus simulating giving Bill Clinton a blowjob isn’t sexy. Maybe it is? I don’t know. I think it’s supposed to be shocking, just like the other parts of the Bangerz Tour where Miley rubs her crotch, rides a hotdog, and wears a leotard made of weed leaves.
However, Miley Cyrus pretending to give Bill Clinton isn’t shocking so much as it is confusing.
During the “Party in the USA” portion of Miley’s Bangerz Tour, Miley dances with a a woman dressed as the Statue of Liberty, two women in a Mount Rushmore headdresses and a little person wearing a Liberty Bell costume. Then Bill Clinton enters and Miley kneels in front of him and pretends to fellate him.
Here’s a closer look at Miley Cyrus pretending to give Bill Clinton a blowjob.
Bill Clinton got a blowjob from Monica Lewinsky in 1998. Miley Cyrus was born in 1992. No one’s made a Bill Clinton blowjob joke since 2000. What the hell is Miley doing and why is she doing it?
I guess pretending to blow a President of the United States is the only way to sell records these days.
I’d like to conclude this post by pointing out Miley’s eyes in that photo. As you can see, she’s looking up at fake-Bill Clinton. She’s trying to establish eye contact while giving a blowjob. Eye contact is one of the hottest things a woman can do while giving a blowjob. It’s so simple yet very effective. Therefore, if Miley Cyrus is trying to establish eye contact during a fake, on-stage blowjob there’s only one conclusion that we can come to…Miley Cyrus gives really good blowjobs.
If someone can hook me up with backstage passes to Miley’s Bangerz Tour, I’ll be able to either confirm or deny that Miley Cyrus gives really good blowjobs. Until I get those backstage passes, let’s continue to believe there’s nothing quite like a Miley blowjob.