Miley Cyrus earns’s respect by working with Jessie Andrews

This is Jessie Andrews, she’s a porn star. She’s too cute to be a porn star. Call her and thank her, you ingrates.

For most of us, the party in the USA ended in 2010. However, most of us aren’t Miley Cyrus who has kept her own personal party in the USA alive and well since summer 2009.

She’s been smoking weed salvia, giving people lapdances, dating super hunky Australians, cutting off her hair, bleaching her hair, making guest appearances on Two and a Half Men. Yes, the girl we knew as a tween idol has really gone off the rails by acting like any ordinary teenager with millions of dollars. Who could have possibly guessed that she would try to get edgier with age? (Everyone. Everyone should have guessed it)

Today was the last straw for Miley. The internet gasped at the prospect of three wedding ceremonies for her and fiancee Liam Hemsworth, only to be floored by the news that Miley had cast a porn star Jessie Andrews in her upcoming music video! Oh no!

Some people have said that casting Jessie Andrews is dangerous because it introduces the young Miley Cyrus fan-base to pornography. Well, I’m here to explain to why Jessie Andrews being cast is totally fine.

1. The video is for the song “Decisions” features Israeli DJ Borgore. DJ Borgore and Jessie Andrews used to date and the song is reportedly about her. They needed someone sexy for the video so why not cast the sexy person who inspired the music?

2. Jessie Andrews really represents a new-wave of porn star, the ones that maintain their natural look. If they had brought in a bleach blonde, fake boobed porn star who’s sex appeal is based on sluttiness, then I could see it being complicated.

3. She’s fairly removed from the industry. Even though she won Best Actress last year at the AVN awards, Jessie Andrews keeps herself busy making electro mixes and jewelry that she sells online. She has a little sex on camera to subsidize her other interests (probably).

4. The video has so much crazy shit in it, no one’s going to notice the porn star. Just a few things that have been rumored to appear in the video are: Miley Cyrus popping out of a cake (like a stripper), woman breaking watermelons with her melons, Liam Hemsworth dressed as a unicorn, army of little people, and a goat.

Whatever, the video isn’t even out yet. It’ll be out later this week. No judgement until the video comes out.

Miley’s just doing whatever she can to be edgier. We fully support this move because artists need to grow to stay relevant. And if that means exposing more people to Jessie Andrews, then that’s totally fine with us.

Hey Miley, you know what would be totally edgy? Making an account on where you can pin and share all your favorite porn. Think about it…

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Published on: October 31, 2012

Filled Under: Sex News

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