New Sex App Nipple Keeps Track Of Your Sex Life

nipple.io  New Sex App Nipple Keeps Track Of Your Sex Life

A new low in human depravity

Do you have trouble keeping track of everyone you have sex with?

If you do, maybe try having sex with fewer people. Try limiting yourself to one or two people at a time. Trust me, it’s way easier than trying to sleep with every woman in the world.

But for those of you who prefer having so many sexual partners that you lose track of them, there’s a new app called Nipple that can help you keep track. 

Nipple is a desktop and mobile app that helps you keep track of your sexual activity. It allows you to save names, details about the sex, and rate the overall performance. When you record your sexual activity with Nipple, it collects that data and compares performances through fancy graphics to show you how your sexual performance evolves.

Lucky for you, I had sex yesterday so I will now use Nipple to record and rate it.

Yesterday I had sex with a woman:

Screen Shot 2014 03 12 at 10.19.00 AM New Sex App Nipple Keeps Track Of Your Sex Life

She was a caucasian woman named Danielle (but she prefers to be called Wesley):

Screen Shot 2014 03 12 at 10.19.51 AM New Sex App Nipple Keeps Track Of Your Sex Life

I would have to describe her as slim, athletic, hairy brunette that was a total sex bomb:

Screen Shot 2014 03 12 at 10.21.43 AM New Sex App Nipple Keeps Track Of Your Sex Life

And of course, we did pretty much everything except the lap dance and the quickie. Actually, we did way more than this unfortunately Nipple doesn’t let you go into greater detail:

Screen Shot 2014 03 12 at 10.23.45 AM New Sex App Nipple Keeps Track Of Your Sex Life

Did we use anything during sex? Just my mask and some lube:

Screen Shot 2014 03 12 at 10.25.35 AM New Sex App Nipple Keeps Track Of Your Sex Life

The sex went down at my house, lasted over an hour and I had two orgasms. She was on birth control and I wore a condom, yet Nipple will only select one or the other. They should let you choose as many as you want to help promote safe sex:

Screen Shot 2014 03 12 at 10.27.39 AM New Sex App Nipple Keeps Track Of Your Sex Life

And the sex was…good I guess:

Screen Shot 2014 03 12 at 10.43.48 AM New Sex App Nipple Keeps Track Of Your Sex Life

Once you fill everything out, Nipple sums up your sex for you:

Screen Shot 2014 03 12 at 10.45.12 AM New Sex App Nipple Keeps Track Of Your Sex Life

Wow.

I just wasted two minutes of my life for that?

If you can’t remember these simple little details, then the sex is probably not worth remembering.

I do think seeing your sexual activity evolve in fancy graphics is a cool idea, however you would have to use this app regularly for it to compile your data. And honestly, any data you volunteer about yourself on the internet is just a means of helping companies market better products to you.

If you really need to keep track of your sexual activity, keep a notebook underneath your bed or locked in a drawer and record your sexual activity there. Not only does the notebook method allow you to go into greater detail that will better illustrate the quality of sex you’ve had, but it’s not available to the world.

Then again, using this sex app could win you a trip to Las Vegas. So if you care more about a free trip to Las Vegas than privacy, by all means use this app.

I, on the other hand, will go back to leaving all my sexual escapades unrecorded. Why would I need to be reminded of all the women (and a handful of men) I’ve disappointed during sex?

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Published on: March 12, 2014

Filled Under: Sex News

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