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Nude Sunbather Causes a Giant Car Crash

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Summer is such a wonderful time. I love summer. It’s my favourite. Finally, I don’t have to hole myself up in a musty den playing video games for 15 hours a day. My crippling depression has faded away. Dairy Queen is finally open again. I can walk around shirtless, exposing my giant beer gut to the world. Yup, Summer’s the shit.

But with Summer, comes responsibility. You can’t go to the beach and rock that pale ass pasty winter bod. You gotta tan that shit. You don’t wanna be blinding people with the sheen coming off your nearly transluscent skin, right? So people are tanning. In particular, a woman in Austria was recently seen tanning nude in the window of her apartment. The issue? Her tanning decisions caused a major traffic pile-up as people took their eyes off the road to catch a glimpse.

A bystander snapped a picture of the sunbather in question, which you can check out at this link.

One of the bystanders described the incident as follows:

“I was behind two guys who had a fender bender because the motorists in front took their eyes off the road to glance up at the view. The young woman was obviously keen on getting some sun in a place where it doesn’t usually shine.”

In my opinion, both parties are sort of at fault here. You shouldn’t be gawking at women trying to sunbathe, because that’s creepy. Also keep your eyes on the road (there seems to be a running theme on the blog today of people letting their insatiable sex ‘drives’ get in the way of their driving. Get it? Sex ‘drives’? I’m a genius.) On the other hand, if you’re a sunbather in your apartment, its kinda fucked up to let your bare ass and legs dangle out of a window. I mean, it’s fine, but it’s just kind of weird.

Also, here’s some pictures of what happens when you’re a sunbather who properly tans themselves and then hits the beach:

2489488 without a doubt the hottest cheerleader for any sport anytime Nude Sunbather Causes a Giant Car Crash
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My name is Gil Powers. I am an extremely, extremely underrated lover and the shortest/fattest man to ever play in the NBA. I like long walks to the 7/11 and watching reality TV show marathons.