Welcome back to another edition of Chico’s Sex Advice where I use all my expertise as a sexpert to answer any questions my beloved readers may have about sex.
“I am an 18 male and my question is of you think that it is acceptable in the 21st century for a man to lose his virginity to a prostitute? With all the pressure on teens to be fit, charming, look like Channing Tatum, be packing a penis the same size as a ruler and be an amazing lover it’s very hard for some males I believe to have to confidence to even try a one night stand let alone a real relationship.
I have just come to the conclusion that seeing a prostitute to lose my virginity might be like seeing a hairdresser to cut my hair, your paying a professional (of sorts) in that field of work. But this is all from my experience so your knowledge may differ.”
WOW. Now that’s a fucking question. Thanks V for taking the time to write me. Now onto the advice…
Since prostitution is illegal pretty much everywhere besides a handful of countries, I think that makes losing your virginity to a prostitute unacceptable by default. If you live in one of the countries where prostitution is legal, then by all means go for it. However, if you’re in a country where prostitution is illegal then you’re just putting yourself at risk to catch some kind of sexually transmitted disease because the sex workers are unregulated. If only the world would see the benefits of legalizing and regulating the sex industry, but that’s a whole different issue.
The problem here is the pressure.
Way back when I was still a virgin, I remember feeling the very same anxiety you feel now. But let me tell you, that pressure to be well-endowed, fit, charming, and be an amazing lover is not real. It comes for your understanding of sex, and your understanding of sex isn’t based on the act itself but its representation in the media.
Losing your virginity to a prostitute, a close friend or a stranger you met at a bar will all be equally awkward and uncomfortable. What I’m having trouble understanding about your question is how the pressure will evaporate once you lose your virginity. 15 minutes of sex won’t make your anxieties disappear, right?
Honestly, I don’t think losing your virginity will change anything. Even after you’ve lost your virginity you’ll still feel pressure to be fit and charming to attract other potential mates. And as your sexual career progresses, you’ll find that there’s no single criteria for good sex. Everyone is different with different sexual tastes. You shouldn’t feel pressure because the key to being an amazing lover is finding someone with whom you’re sexually compatible with. And ain’t no one knows how to do that, so there’s nothing to worry about.
All in all, I know losing your virginity seems like a big deal but it isn’t. You’ll have sex and you’ll find that you’re still the same person. And in time, you’ll forget the details of how it actually happened until what you’re remembering is just a shadow of a memory.
How many times will you remember a certain afternoon? An afternoon so deeply apart of your being that you can’t even conceive your life without it? Perhaps four or five times more. Perhaps not even that.
Sorry to get all grandiose on you V but I just want you to realize that the pressure you feel to lose your virginity is insignificant. You’ll lose it eventually. You’ll have lots of sex at times. You won’t have sex at all at times. Life just ebbs and flows and the only thing you can do is make the best with what you got.