OK, There Is ONE Exception to the ‘Don’t Send Dick Pics’ Rule

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

We couldn’t be happier to have Calico Rudasil come by the Sex.com Blog and rethink her “Don’t Send Dick Pics” Rule.

I know I’ve climbed atop the virtual soapbox before and implored men everywhere to stop sending out pictures of their genitals, whether to the women in their lives or the general public, but there’s nothing like a hilarious photo of a talk show host’s horrified face to make one realize that there are no absolutes in life – and that yes, sometimes it is OK to text a picture of your cock to a complete stranger.

Earlier this month, “Today” co-host Hoda Kotb showed herself to be U.S. Congressional material, at least where mastery of technology is concerned, by accidentally displaying her cellphone number on national television while attempting to demonstrate how the new Samsung Smartwatch syncs with her phone. Predictably, Kotb was quickly inundated with calls and texts – including one sent by a man who was kind enough to send Hoda a picture of “his junk.” 

“Someone had to text his junk because that’s what people do,” a likely-disgusted Kotb told the New York Post. No argument there; sending pictures of cocks is something that people do, whether they are football players, politicians, or just fans of crappy morning pseudo-news programs.

Granted, there’s no way for me to know that the picture of Hoda in the HuffPo article linked above was actually taken at the moment she spied the offending phallus in her inbox (and let’s face it, the screengrab probably had nothing to do with that incident), but for the sake of my own amusement, that’s how I’m interpreting it. The shot is just so perfect in that context; a mix of trauma, confusion, and trepidation that says “Please God, let this be the one and only perv who this notion occurs to!”

Part of me feels mildly guilty for taking so much pleasure in Hoda’s horror… but not really. Hell, she gets paid damn good money to sit there on TV babbling about stuff like the Samsung Smartwatch, for fuck’s sake; if the worst thing that happens to her on the job is occasional unwanted exposure to some disembodied digital dick, that’s not such a bad bargain, right?

Of course, there’s also no way for Hoda to be certain the picture in question was of the sender’s junk; for that matter, the culprit might have been a woman who simply downloaded one of the innumerable prick pics available online and forwarded along to the technically-challenged talking head.

In fairness to Hoda, the contrasts to Anthony Weiner’s 2011 Tweetfail here are quite instructive, methinks. On the one hand, Weiner misused technology in a knowing attempt to send a picture of his Little Congressman to an individual, and instead did the Twitter version of “reply to all,” instantly broadcasting his boner to the world. In Hoda’s case, the mobile technology mishap generated a downside that was hers alone to suffer.

On the flipside, though, Hoda gets to keep her job, while Anthony now has to busy himself with finding a new idea for his next one, as it seems like maybe the window has definitively closed on his political career.

Maybe CNN has an opening? Don’t laugh: Now that they’ve both been rejected by the voters of New York, Anthony would make a natural co-host for a show with Eliot Spitzer, don’t you think?

Thank you Calico Rudasil and everyone at Sssh.com!

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Published on: September 18, 2013

Filled Under: Funny, Stuff

Views: 430

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