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People Will Switch to Bing for Porn

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Internet porn!

I’ll be the first to admit it, I love Google.

How on earth are you supposed to look something up without Google?

I always remember Hank Scorpio asking Homer Simpson if he knew who invented the hammock. And of course he didn’t know who invented the hammock. So Hank Scopio says to Homer, “There’s something for you to do: find that out.”

Find out who invented the hammock without Google? That’s a huge task. Without Google I would have had to walk to the library and open a book instead of immediately finding out that hammocks were invited by Native Americans in the West Indies and brought back to Europe by Spanish colonists (also maybe hammocks were invented by the Ancient Greeks, no one knows for sure. Hammocks been around a long time).

Google has made all of our lives easier and therefore better by providing us with the fastest way to find things on the internet.

So Eden sank to grief, so dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay.

What this Robert Frost quote means is that even in all its glory, Google may not last forever simply because nothing gold can stay.

More and more Google seems to be removing internet porn from itself. They’ve made it harder to find porn on Google Images, they banned porn from Google Glass (even though the only purpose anyone can think of for Google Glass is POV porn) and they’ve banned the monetization of porn on Blogger. Though they aren’t officially going porn-free, it sure looks like Google is moving in that direction.

Because I’m such a big fan of Google (did you guys see The Internship?), I decided to run a poll to see how you guys would react to a porn-free Google. 

Of the 1,150 Sex.com users that voted, only 35% (410 people) said that they would continue to use Google for its intended purposes such as finding directions, spellcheck, and looking up useless information.

Meanwhile 50% of voters said that they would switch to Bing so they can search for porn. Obviously this percentage is a little bit skewed because the poll was run on Sex.com, a free porn site, where people were probably searching for porn and thereby it doesn’t totally represent Google’s users.

But even though the results might be a little disproportionate, it’s still significant that 50% of people would make the switch to Bing because, historically, technology embraced by the adult industry succeeds.

The perfect example of this is VHS.

VHS might be a distant memory to you now but it was one of the first developments in home video entertainment. Despite being very expensive for the time and having no corporate backing, VHS was able to succeed because  finally you could watch all the porn you wanted without having to leave the house for one of those dingy porno theaters.

Maybe what we’ll see is the fall of a company when they turn their back on pornography.

Whatever happens, porn studios might hope for Google to go porn-free because 15% of voters will go back to buying porn magazines and porn movies.

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I have to wear my glasses when I go to the theater. If you want to reach me directly, email me at chicodustyblog@gmail.com, add me to your circles on Google+ or Tweet at me on Twitter.

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