Welcome back to another edition of Chico’s Sex Advice where I use all my expertise as a sexpert to answer any questions my beloved readers may have about sex.
Today’s question comes from RYAN P. Ryan P writes:
“Chico, I’m in a pickle. I’m in a friends-with-benefits relationship with a Latina E.R. nurse who is older than me. The only problem is I may have talked myself up a bit. She’s into rough sex and so I dirty talked the shit out of her. I’m just not 100% sure what constitutes rough sex. Any thoughts? Big fan of the blog, by the way.”
Ryan, let me start by thanking you for your excellent question as well as your support. It means a whole lot. Now, onto the answer.
The problem with rough sex is that there’s no universal definition that exists. A lot of different things can constitute rough sex and it’s ultimately the individual’s tastes that determine what they want when they say, “I’m into rough sex.”
Let me give you an example. A long time ago, I was hooking up with this a Fine Arts student. In between one of our many dalliances, she let it slip that she was into rough sex. Obviously because I’m a self-confessed pervert, I asked her to show me what she meant by rough sex. She proceeded to get on all fours and asked to be serviced from behind. Now, doing it doggy style is not my definition of rough sex. In my porn-raddled brain, I consider this to be pretty standard procedure, however this was what she considered to be rough sex so I remained tight-lipped and obliged.
Though given that your lady friend is an older Latina E.R. nurse, I’m willing to bet that she’s a bit more experienced and knows what she wants. Unfortunately for you, I don’t know exactly what that is so instead I’ll list some options for you to try and hopefully you happen to satisfy her need for rough sex.
Though traditionally a form of parental violence, spanking in the bedroom can be lots of fun. Start out by petting and rubbing her behind in a playful manner. Then, when she least expects it, slap her butt lightly and immediately return to petting it. If she responds positively to the spanking with a moan or a giggle or something, gradually slap her butt more often and with more intensity. Keep a solid rhythm while slapping her ass for a transcendental effect.
If she likes the palm of your hand spanking her ass, try upgrading to a paddle of some kind for next. Or try spanking her tits! Get experimental. But only if she’s into it.
Biting, if done right, can provide some incredibly erotic, animalistic pleasure. Slowly kiss and eventually start nibbling all over her body. Hot spots to hit are her neck, shoulders, hips, thighs, and butt.
Don’t bite her pussy. You wouldn’t want her to bite your dick would you? It’s just common courtesy. Depending on her reaction, bite with more intensity, but never break the skin…I mean…unless that’s what she wants…
Pulling your lady’s hair during sex can tug on hair follicles, which in turn stimulates the nerve endings at the back of the neck (which is an erogenous zone). On top of that, pulling hair during sex is an act of aggressive dominance but without being too violent.
You’re asserting yourself, dominating her, which might just turn her on. Maybe she’s into getting dominated? I don’t know. Pull her hair, see how she reacts and take it from there.
HOLD HER DOWN!
Think of this as your intro to bondage. There are times where women want to run their hands all over your body during sex, but don’t let them. Pin her arms down by the wrists and don’t let her move them at all. Pin her to your bed, up against a wall, a desk, wherever! This is an act of dominance that should tickle her rough sex fancy.
If this drives her absolutely wild, then talk to her about using handcuffs or tethers the next time around because it’s basically the same thing as pinning her down, however she’s consenting to being submissive. And then once you’ve entered the wonderful world of bondage, you can get all kinds of kinky with whips, ropes and whatever else might peak your interest.
Honestly, I’m not a fan of choking during sex, but throwing a choke into sex definitely would then constitute the sex as rough. Because choking reduces the oxygen to the brain, and results in somewhat of a hallucinogenic state, it has developed into a fetish for many people. Sadly, many people have died in an attempt to achieve the light-headed orgasm. SO PLEASE BE CAREFUL.
Personally, I recommend simply holding her neck rather than actually choking her because it provides that same sensation of submission and control. PLEASE BE EXTREMELY CAREFUL WHEN IT COMES TO EROTIC ASPHYXIATION.
What do I mean when I say “Jackhammering”? I mean think of your dick as a jackhammer and her pussy is piece of concrete that needs to shattered into pieces for the sake of the whole city’s infrastructure. As far as rough sex goes, jackhammering is the most literal interpretation of rough sex. Just pound away with a pace and intensity that has only been seen by male pornstars. You never know it might just work.
Ryan P., I hope that these suggestions help inspire some confident moves in the bedroom with your older Latina E.R. nurse that likes rough sex.
While my suggestions are foolproof, I will say this: ASK HER ABOUT WHAT SHE LIKES. The only way you’ll ever be sure of what she wants or how she defines rough sex is through communication. You might find out what gets her off through guesswork but my advice is to talk to her and find out firsthand. Plus, communicating with her shows that you care.
But thank you for asking me first, it shows how much you care.