It was only a few months ago, (November 13th, 2013 to be specific) that we thought virtual sex and robot handjobs were no longer something we had to dream about. Thanks to the rise of Oculus VR, the leader in virtual reality technology, virtual sex and robot handjobs were going to become a reality, and we’d finally be happy.
However, we can now abandon all hope for hyper-realistic virtual sex because Facebook has bought Oculus VR for a cool $2 Billion.
In an announcement issued today, Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg sounded positively effusive about the acquisition, stating, “Mobile is the platform of today, and now we’re also getting ready for the platforms of tomorrow. Oculus has the chance to create the most social platform ever, and change the way we work, play and communicate.”
The announcement also pointed to growing interest in the the new technology, stating, “Oculus is the leader in immersive virtual reality technology and has already built strong interest among developers, having received more than 75,000 orders for development kits for the company’s virtual reality headset, the Oculus Rift. While the applications for virtual reality technology beyond gaming are in their nascent stages, several industries are already experimenting with the technology, and Facebook plans to extend Oculus’ existing advantage in gaming to new verticals, including communications, media and entertainment, education and other areas. Given these broad potential applications, virtual reality technology is a strong candidate to emerge as the next social and communications platform.”
Omg so boring.
So what about the virtual sex?
Oculus generated a lot of buzz when it was starting out because of its willingness to work with independent developers, including those looking to develop porn apps and virtual sex games. Now that Facebook owns Oculus, I can’t imagine they’ll be open to working with porn apps and virtual sex developers because multi-billion dollar companies don’t like to get their hands dirty with the adult industry (unless that multi-billion dollar company is MindGeek).
But then again, who knows what’s going to happen? Maybe Facebook bought Oculus VR because they know once the virtual sex games start to come out, everyone is going to be buying them.
For now, I’m wagering that Facebook nixes any Oculus virtual sex projects just because it’s Facebook and they hate sex. Facebook’s hatred of sex has always confused me because hasn’t Facebook always been a way of keeping track of which friends are single and down to bang?
At least we can still watch virtual sex videos…