Headaches are a real pain in the butt. Well, technically it’s a pain in the head but you know what I mean…
The worst part about getting headaches is that there aren’t enough effective ways to relieve the pain. What I like to do is smoke menthol cigarettes in a hot car with all the windows rolled up until I fall asleep and wake up without a headache.
Thankfully, a team of German neuroscientists has discovered a fantastic new way to alleviate headache and migraine pain: SEX. SEX CAN RELIEVE HEADACHES.
No, this is not a dream. This is a real study from the Department of Neurology at the University of Munster titled The impact of sexual activity on idiopathic headaches: An observational study.
The Munster team sent out a questionnaire to 800 migraine patients and 200 cluster headache patients asking about the patient’s experience with sexual activity during a headache attack and its impact on headache intensity.
Unfortunately, only 38% of migraine sufferers and 48% of cluster headache patients replied to the survey. Of the small percentage that did reply, only 34% of migraine patients and 31% of cluster headache patients had a sexual experience while suffering from symptoms. So the sampling is kind of small to be very convincing…
Regardless, out of the migraine patients that did engage in sexual activity 60% reported an improvement of their migraine attack (70% of them reported moderate to complete relief) and 33% reported worsening. Meanwhile, the cluster headache patients 37% reported an improvement of their headache attack (91% of them reported moderate to complete relief) and 50% reported worsening.
“Our results show that sexual activity during a migraine attack might relieve or even stop an attack in some cases, and that sexual activity in the presence of headache is not an unusual behaviour,” the researchers said. “Sex can abort migraine and cluster headache attacks, and sexual activity is used by some patients as acute headache treatment.”
You’re probably wondering right about now how sex can relieve headaches. Well, it’s simple. Sex releases a ton of endorphins, the body’s natural painkiller, throughout the whole body. Sex releases a painkiller which can reduce or eliminate symptoms. Simple right? It seems so obvious that sex would be a miracle cure for most ailments, however it’s hard to have sex when you’re not feeling well. Maybe now that sex is now a known remedy, it will be easier to have even when the mood isn’t perfect.
Depending on what you’re suffering from, you could end up worsening your symptoms rather than getting any relief. But if your headache gets worse, at least you got to have sex, right? Even though the research feels somewhat inadequate for “sex can relieve headaches” to be taken as fact, I know the next time I have a headache, I’ll try to have to sex rather than running to my car with a carton of menthol cigarettes.
Of course, the real problem with this study is that it’s made a perfectly good excuse for not having sex obsolete. So here now are some excuses you can use to get out of having sex:
- “I’m too drunk.”
- “You smell like a burger, I don’t like you anymore.”
- “I haven’t cut my toe nails in a couple months. Remind me to cut them after the sex.”
- “I had a tampon in there earlier today. I don’t want to have sex until I find it.”
- “Can’t right now, I’m inviting people to join my LinkedIn network.”
- “I’m not drunk enough.”
And if you have any other good excuses to get out of having sex please share them in the comments!
To read the study in full, visit Cephalagia.