Only Sex Can Save Denmark

do it for denmark

Sex can save Denmark!

All things considered, Denmark is doing a lot of things right and I’m not just talking about unleashing the super sexy Nina Agdal on to the world.

Last year, the UN deemed that Denmark was the happiest country in the world because of its commitment to maternity leave, gender equality, biking, drinking, and love of cigarettes. Denmark’s economy is pumping out $211 billion annually, which is impressive because the population is only 5.6 million people.

So everything is good in Denmark, right? Wrong.

Denmark has a serious sex problem…which immediately negates its “happiest country in the world” title in my mind.¬†

To be fair, it’s not that Denmark has a sex problem per se. The birth rate in Denmark is the lowest its been in decades. According to Danish government statistics,¬†Denmark posted a birth rate of 10 per 1,000 residents in 2013. Now I don’t know for sure because I’m a sexpert and not a statistician, but that sounds shockingly low.

In order to save their country from dying out, the Danish government launched a campaign Wednesday called “Do It For Denmark!”, which encourages Danes to take vacations and have as much sex as possible.

Check out their ad:

Now, this campaign may be targeted at Danes, but there’s no reason why we can’t help them too.

Your sex-assignment for this weekend is to go out and try to meet some nice Danish men or women and have as much sex with them as possible. You are not allowed to have sex with anyone who is not from Denmark or of Danish descent. It’s up to you whether you want to have unprotected sex and make a new little Dane or just fuck them so hard that they get turned off casual sex and decided to settle down. The important thing is that you help the Danes have sex.

You might be wondering, “Why should I help the Danish procreate?”

Well the answer is simple. As a Danish-American and a frequent visitor of Denmark, the Danes are genetically predisposed to be beautiful. It’s nuts. Literally everyone you lay eyes on in Denmark is the most gorgeous creature you’ve ever seen. It’s especially nice to be ugly in Denmark because ugly people are so rare that you’re revered as a God or Hollywood-style celebrity.

Having sex with a Danish woman or man will be one of the greatest accomplishments in your life. And as it is their civic duty to have as much sex as possible, you better jump at the opportunity to fuck a Dane.

To further prove that having sex with a Dane is now a top priority of yours, please scroll down to check out some of the hottest Danish women in history. (We’re counting babes of Danish descent also, so don’t complain)

Nina Agdal

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Malene Espensen

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Mia Rosing

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Helena Christensen

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Cecilie Thomsen

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Scarlett Johansson

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Anine Bing

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Elvira Fiirs

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Caroline Corinth

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Connie Nielsen

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Caroline Wozniacki

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Maja Simonsen

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May Andersen

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Zienna Eve

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Do you understand why it’s not just Denmark’s responsibility to have more sex with Danish people?

The entire world needs to work together so that babes of this caliber can continue to exist.

Now go out and meet some hot Danes!