Christmas Gift Guide: Musical Vibrators!

Christmas. It really is the greatest time of year.

For only a few more days, the government will be lifting its embargo on Egg Nog and you can throw out all those gallons of milk you bought yesterday. You can now live in sweet ecstasy, slurping back a thick cup of Nog. Some people like to put a little rum in it…

…it’s a good way to keep nice and warm ;).

There is one catch. You have to buy expensive and thoughtful presents while you’re out buying Egg Nog. AND NO, Egg Nog is not an expensive and thoughtful present. It’s cheap and lazy and very delicious.

What is there to buy other than Egg Nog? Don’t worry, we’ve found the perfect gifts this Christmas and we’re proud to share them with you in part three of’s Christmas Gift Guide!

For part three of’s Christmas Gift Guide, we have the perfect thing for the music-lover in your life.

Shopping for music-lovers is always a tricky thing. With so many different genres and so many different categories of Grammy’s, how do you know what music they like? If you go out on a limb and buy a CD, all you’ll see on Christmas morning as they meticulously unwrap the parts of last Sunday’s newspaper funny-pages you chose not to scrapbook is a look of utter disgust. Then they’ll look at you and say, “What the fuck is this?” The music-lover will react this way for two reasons:

1. The CD you chose is terrible because it was not recommended by or another pornography/internet-sex website’s blog

2. CDs have been obsolete for hundreds of years. Their music library is a mix of digital, vinyl, and cassette tape. CDs have no function
You could go the thoughtless route and get them an iTunes gift-card. However, this is also a waste of money because if the music-lover you’re shopping for really loves music then they know how to acquire it illegally, ensuring that their favorite artist stays broke and hungry for several years to come.

The only possible gift to get someone who loves music an OhMiBod vibrator.


They love music, right? With an OhMiBod vibrator, your special music-lover can now express their love for music physically by fucking their favorite song.

How does it work? Just plug your OhMiBod into any music device and it automatically vibrates to the rhythm and intensity of the music.

And when you get your OhMiBod you can join their exclusive community called CLUB VIBE. Club Vibe is a place where OhMiBod users can talk about their experiences, swap tips, and share their favorite playlists. It’s a great way to find new music. There’s even an App for it!

Here’s a little preview of’s Club Vibe playlist:

1. Gangnam Style – PSY

2. Scary Monsters & Nice Sprites – Skrillex

3. Grindin’ – Clipse

4. Work It – Missy Elliot

5. Big Pimpin’ – Jay-Z ft. UGK

6. Single Ladies – Beyonce

7. Pon de Floor – Major Lazer

8. Walmart – Mr. Ghetto

9. Dopesmoker – Sleep


Order your OhMiBod today from their online store ( You can get a wired vibrator for $59 or really treat your music-fucker
music lover and get them a wireless vibrator for $99. Not to mention, they have plenty of other cool vibrators and vibrator-accessories that are total must-haves.

And if the music-lover in your life already has an OhMiBod and all its accessories, just be the one to introduce them to TONSTARTSSBANDHT. Few people know that Tonstartssbandht is the world’s greatest band. And that’s an understatement. Tonstartssbandht is more like a spiritual experience, one that brings you close to enlightenment.

Check it:



And if they love Tonstartssbandht and have the full OhMiBod kit, then just get them some Egg Nog because they already have everything.

Please feel free to add to’s Club Vibe playlist or just talk about your favorite Tonstartssbandht songs, albums, or brother in the comment section.