If horse racing is the sport of kings, then surely sex toy races…is a…very good sport as well…
For real though. Sex toy races are real because there just aren’t enough things to gamble on when you’re in Las Vegas.
Here’s how sex toy races work:
Four dildos are placed on a table. Up to eight people can bet on one of the dildos. Once your bets are placed, the dildos are laid down on a piece of paper and they’re set loose at the break-neck speed of 1.5 mph.
Let’s watch the demo:
I can’t imagine anyone betting on sex toy races other than bachelorette parties.
You might be wondering, “Who the heck would ever think of this zany idea?” Well, it was created by a sex toy manufacturer. Fun Factory came up with it to showcase their new “drive” technology in their vibrators.
But still, I’m happy that sex toy races exist.
Personally, I would have preferred if sex toy races were women racing each other to orgasm by using their favorite or a standard-issue sex toy. Like a sexy version of the game limp biscuit. Not the band.
Like this Capri Anderson video but the only difference would be she would racing against another hot babe or pornstar.
If sex toy races (as they exist now) ever lose their novelty, it will be nice to fall back on my vision of sex toy races. Right?