Sexy Ways to Celebrate July 4th

Alexis Texas sexy ass

Alexis Texas gets patriotic

You there! Do you know what tomorrow is? Tomorrow is the 4th of July, which means you should be ready to celebrate the independence of the Philippines with Republic Day.

But seriously, July 4th is Independence Day here in America and it’s a pretty big deal. Obviously on July 4th we celebrate America’s independence from the dreaded British, but really it’s a chance for all of us to kick back, drink some beer, and blow some shit up.

I’ve got my July 4th all planned out. I’m going to swing by the Sex.com sex dungeon that we call an office and look at porn all day then eventually go home and go to sleep.

Sounds pretty good, right?

If you haven’t figured out what you’re doing then you’ve come to the right blog because we’re here with the Top 10 Sexy Ways to Celebrate July 4th. Let’s see how we can make July 4th sexy: 

10. Wear something patriotic

 

9. Work on your tan

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8. Visit one of our beautiful national parks

 

7. Get lots of beer

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6. Say a prayer and give a salute for all our troops overseas and at home

5. Invite over any friends that don’t have plans

(especially if your friends are Nicole Aniston, Lisa Ann, and Jessica Jaymes)

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4. Make sure your flag is flying

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3. Play some pick-up football

(better yet play naked football with Kortney Kane)

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2. Fire up the BBQ

(preferrably with the gorgeous and sexy Ella Milano)

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1. Fireworks!

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I, Chimca Chispy (what’s my name again?), guarantee that if you do any of these 10 things tomorrow, you’re going to have a great Independence Day (or Republic Day if you’re in the Philippines).

If you do choose to shoot fireworks out of your butt, please don’t blame me.

Everybody stay safe, have fun, and happy July 4th!

One last thing…

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

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Published on: July 3, 2013

Filled Under: TOP 10's

Views: 6525

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