• Sex Tips from 1894 Are Really Stupid and Make Sex Sound Lame

    But newsflash, sex ain’t actually lame. Still, if the idea that sex is lame is being continually drilled into your brain by the media, you’d probably start to believe it. Like how I believe that 9/11 was an inside job after watching ‘Spare Change’ on Youtube 800 times consecutively.

    You know how you read sex tips in magazines like Cosmo and the like, and you think to yourself, “None of these sex tips sound even remotely arousing and in fact most of them are completely ridiculous and sound painful/disgusting?” Well, though I admittedly don’t read Cosmo very often, the above question is what’s usually running through my mind when I do.

    It turns out that horrible sex advice pointers have been doled out for over a century, and probably even further back than that. Cosmo, the magazine I was just dissing, recently posted some sex tips from 1894, and they’re actually pretty interesting. It seems like back then, women were trying their goddamn fucking hardest to hoodwink their husbands into never having sex.

    Continue Reading

    July 22, 2014 • Funny, Sex, Sex & Dating Tips, Stuff • Views: 9776

  • Advice on Leaving the “Friendzone”

    I (Your friendly neighborhood lesbian, Red Velvet) got a message asking for dating advice on my Tumblr yesterday and I figured this is something others struggle with too, so I might as well answer it publicly here.

    The question goes as follows:

    I’ve been friends with this girl for almost two years and when she’s drunk she’s all over me but when she’s sober, we always talk about how sad she is about her exbf. I don’t want to take advantage of her when she’s drunk but it’s hard because I like her and I really want to have sex with her. Do you have any advice on leaving the friendzone?”

    I really dislike this whole idea about the “friendzone”. It’s not only guys who talk about it, girls do too. The problem I have with it is a lot of people think that just being there emotionally for a person is enough to make them fall in love with you but it isn’t. A good relationship has emotional support, but they aren’t only about that.

    Most of the time I’d much rather be with the person who has the power to upset me than the person I complain about them to. The reason why is not because “girls like douchebags” but because when you like someone, your feelings give them the power to upset you even about little things. If you didn’t like them, you would just be like “that dude is a douchebag, fuck him”.

    Source: via shy76guy on

    Having said that, I’m going to move onto what you really need to be doing to show her you like her.

    It’s time to change things up a bit. Show her that you’re more than just a therapist. If her ex boyfriend is all you two ever talk about, then no wonder you haven’t left this so called “friendzone”. Show her things you like hoping she’ll like them too. Figure out what you guys have in common and bond over that. Tease her subtly and see how she responds to that.

    To be honest, if she’s hanging off of you while drunk, there is obviously something there she’s not acknowledging because she’s either not ready or she doesn’t think you reciprocate.

    And if it turns out she still only wants to be friends with you, then to be honest there are millions of girls in the world who are going to be extremely hot, like the same things that you do, want to do them with you and will give you a fuzzier feeling than she will. Don’t you worry.

    If you have a question for a lesbian, you can ask me on my tumblr or in the comments section below.

    June 18, 2014 • Sex, Sex & Dating Tips • Views: 6352

  • 5 Tips for Giving Oral Sex from a Lesbian

    The following is a featured post from our new weekly columnist.  This is important because, unlike Chico or I (Gil Powers!), she is a woman.  On top of being a woman, she’s also a lesbian.  So if you want some alternative advice to pleasure the woman in your life (beyond Chico’s excellent sex tips columns), this seems like a good place to start!

    – Gil

    Being a woman, being with women, and being friends with women has definitely given me the upper hand when it comes to sex. So here’s a couple tips to help out those of you who want to improve your oral sex game.

    Continue Reading

    May 20, 2014 • Sex, Sex & Dating Tips • Views: 62720

  • 45% of Men Last 2 Minutes or Less – That’s Horrible Sexual Stamina

    Guys, y’all really have to work on your game.

    Established sex-master and urologist Dr. Harry Fisch recently did a post for Nerve in which he details the ‘normal’ frequency of sexual intercourse.  The findings are of course inconclusive, because what constitutes ‘normal’ is completely subjective.  It depends on  the person and it depends on the relationship.  Nothing to see here.

    More interesting is the fact that a whopping 45% of men last 2 minutes or less during sexual intercourse before cumming.  That’s ludicrous, and certainly not enough time for the majority of women to achieve an orgasm. 2 minutes is like, straight up premature ejaculation territory.  The fact that 45% of men fall into that zone really questions our sexual health as a society.

    The average length of vaginal intercourse is about 7.3 minutes, which, although better than 2 minutes, still isn’t enough time for the average woman to achieve an orgasm consistently.

    What is a man to do?  First thing’s first, you should do some research on how to increase your sexual stamina.  A great starting point would the article written by our own Chico Dusty entitled “How Do I Increase My Sexual Stamina?”

    Things like increasing your sexual stamina take hard work and dedication, but I’m asking you to undertake the mission of improving your sexual stamina for two main reasons:

    1) Your sexual partner will thank you when you stopping blowing your load as soon as you penetrate them.

    2) We need to boost these averages up for the sake of men everywhere.  2 minutes makes us look like a bunch of goddamn jokers.

    So, to help you work on that really underwhelming sexual stamina, please look at these sexy pictures and gifs while masturbating.  Try to make yourself last a bit longer than usual.  Then, visit and look at some more pictures and try to beat your previous record!  See, working on your sexual stamina can be fun, like a game!  Not giving your girl an orgasm isn’t fun though, for you or her.

    Source: via LauraLMJ on

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    Did you make it all the way to the end without cumming? Excellent work! Keep trying to break that record on!

    via Nerve

    April 30, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 21900

  • Valentine’s Day Advice From Adult Stars

    Valentine's Day advice you can trust

    Valentine’s Day advice you can trust

    Isn’t Valentine’s Day just the worst?

    Every year we’re forced to pull ourselves out of our seasonal affective disorder-slumps and do something romantic the one (or ones) we love. It sounds nice in theory, but doing something romantic is mostly just second-guessing yourself and stressing. Any idea you have will always end up being too cheesy, too obvious, too sleazy, too selfish, etc.

    What the heck are you supposed to do?

    Lucky for us, CraveOnline went down to AVN to ask adult superstars Sophie Dee, Jessa Rhodes, Teagan Presley, Tanya Tate, and more for Valentine’s Day advice. Who knows more about sex, seduction, and romance than your favorite pornstars? If you don’t think pornstars are experts on sex, seduction, and romance then please leave right now.

    The rest of you that know pornstars have valuable Valentine’s Day advice to give, enjoy this video!

    Ahhh pornstars. Is there any dilemma in life that can’t be solved by pornstars? I highly doubt that there is.

    Heed their words and you’re guaranteed to have a great Valentine’s Day.

    Don’t forget to take’s Super Sexy Valentine’s Day Survey!

    February 11, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 1853

  • How Do I Hide My Boner? – Chico’s Sex Advice


    How does one hide this beast?

    Sex is complicated. No one understands that better than me. That’s why if you have a question about sex, I’m prepared to answer your questions with sexpert sex advice in this special Blog feature, Chico’s Sex Advice.

    Today’s question comes from Denny. He’s a guy that has supported the blog since its inception and I feel like we wouldn’t be where we are today if it weren’t for him. Just wanted to give Denny the shoutout he deserves. And now onto his question!

    Denny writes:

    “Getting erections at random in non-erotic situations can lead to really embarrassing and awkward situations. Do you have any advice on how to a hide boner for guys that can’t help but pitch tents?”  Continue Reading

    December 9, 2013 • Sex & Dating Tips • Views: 4334

  • Role Playing & Domination – Chico’s Sex Advice

    Sex is complicated. No one understands that better than me. That’s why if you have a question about sex, I’m prepared to answer your questions with sexpert sex advice in this special Blog feature, Chico’s Sex Advice.

    Today’s question comes from loyal Blog pawn Shyla. 

    Shyla writes,

    “I really enjoyed your post about Thanksgiving role play scenarios. What role play scenarios do you recommend for a girl that loves to be dominated?”  Continue Reading

    December 5, 2013 • Sex, Sex & Dating Tips • Views: 4524

  • Chico’s Sex Advice – How To Have Sex in a Bunk Bed

    Sex is complicated. No one understands that better than me. That’s why if you have a question about sex, I’m prepared to answer your questions with sexpert sex advice in this special Blog feature, Chico’s Sex Advice.

    Today’s question comes from loyal Blog pawn EJ.

    EJ writes:

    “My boyfriend and his roommate sleep together in a bunk bed. I am concerned as my boyfriend is 24 and his roommate is 26. What tips do you have for discreet sexual encounters in a bunk bed?” Continue Reading

    December 2, 2013 • Sex, Sex & Dating Tips • Views: 2857

  • The Best Places To Have Sex In The Office

    Office sex! Everyone’s doing it! Or at least 54% of people are doing it, according to an office sex study by Business Insider that came out in May.

    For those of us who are more accustomed to working in an office as opposed to banging in one, office sex seems daunting. For example, if I were to have sex in the office, I wouldn’t know where to do it because my office is an open concept loft with lots of windows. It’s a very nice office but I wouldn’t feel comfortable having sex in the office because there’s no where to go for privacy. Sorry I’m such a sensitive lover and not a crazy exhibitionist.

    If you’re like me and you don’t know where you would have sex in the office should the opportunity ever arise, then today’s your lucky day. EliteSingles, a UK dating service, has just published a study that examines the most popular places to have sex in an office.  Continue Reading

    November 21, 2013 • Sex & Dating Tips, Sex News • Views: 4723

  • Chico’s Sex Advice – Girls For Friendship and Love


    This girl is perfect for friendship and love

    Sex is complicated. No one understands that better than me. That’s why if you have a question about sex, I’m prepared to answer your questions with sexpert sex advice in this special Blog feature, Chico’s Sex Advice.

    Today’s question comes from a loyal Blog pawn by the name of Millie.

    Mille asks,

    “Hi Chico. First I have to tell you I like u so much. And I want to know how can I have a girl for friendship and love?”

    First I have to tell you that I like you so much Millie!

    Now, how can you get a girl for friendship and love?  Continue Reading

    November 8, 2013 • Sex & Dating Tips • Views: 3107

  • Chico’s Sex Advice – Pussy: The Breakfast Of Champions

    Sex is complicated. No one understands that better than me. That’s why if you have a question about sex, I’m prepared to answer your questions with sexpert sex advice in this special Blog feature, Chico’s Sex Advice.

    Today’s question comes from a loyal Blog pawn by the name of Coop.

    Coop writes,


    This is in reference to the question Casey asked about waking up her bf with a blowjob

    What about the reversal role and you want to give your girlfriend head in the morning? Pussy is the breakfast of champions”

    Excellent question, Coop! Here’s what I think…  Continue Reading

    November 6, 2013 • Sex, Sex & Dating Tips • Views: 5772

  • Ask Marni by – When Should a Guy Approach ?

    In our new video of Ask Marni by, Marni talks about when to approach women.

    Here’s an email that got from Tim:


    Late last night, I went grocery shopping. Upon going to checkout I saw this woman that I was extremely attracted to.

    While we checked out I decided to take a different path to my car only to find out that she was parked near me. She was wearing biking gear and had a bike in the back of her truck. I think this intimidated me a little because I did not approach her. Reason being, I really thought I would be bothering her. I do this all the time and want to stop wasting great opportunities.

    So my question to you is, when can I approach a woman?”



    Marni advices:

    Alright Tim. The answer to your question is: “always!”  If you see a woman you want, approach her! Delay or linger , and you can easily become the crippy guy, seemingly gawking from behind the burrito’s display.

    Remember, it’s about you first, and her second. So don’t worry about her! Don’t worry about cripping her out. Worry about what you want. So it sounds there is a lot of pressure on your approach and you’re maybe thinking large picture instead of small picture. So here is the large picture:

    “I’m going to approach this girl, she’s going to be attracted to me, I’m going to get her number, we’re going to have sex! Blablablablabla. The all shebang!”

    That’s a lot of pressure to put on your approach. What I want you to do it’s to drawing it back a little, so that there is a smaller picture. A smaller picture or intension are more realistic. Plus, there are less emotionally charged, which make them easier to accomplish. So small picture is : “That girl is cute. I wanna talk to her and see if I like her.”

    Having the smaller picture in mind before any approaches is going to make it so much easier on  you. If you don’t attach a large picture outcome to your actions, then you’re not gonna feel as much pressure to succeed. I wanna comment on one more thing you said in your email to me.

    Where you said: “You thought you would be bothering her”; I hear these assumptions from the men I’ve been working with all the time. Now, below are some assumptions, I’m constantly hearing from other men, which I called assumption gone wrong:

    “She’s not my type. She won’t be into me. I’m too short for her. Too fat, bold, skinny for her. She probably has a boy friend. She’s busy right now. She doesn’t wanna be bothered. She’s with her friend and doesn’t wanna be interrupted”.

    Whenever are here these assumptions, I always think it’s so interesting, men know so much about women they haven’t never spoken to before which lead to the conclusion that these men are mind-readers. I know for certain that’s not true! These assumptions are really just fears disguised as intelligent justification. These are what I would call conceived truth that stop us to getting what we want. Please do not fall into this, approach every women that picks your interest and decide what category you want put her in, after you have some fact to base it on.

    Alright Tim, there’s your answer.

    For more tips on how to attract, date, seduce and get any girl that you want visit or watch for more videos here on”

    – Marni.

    August 2, 2013 • Sex News • Views: 928

  • Ask Marni by – How Do I Date a Stripper?


    Here is the email that I got from George:

    “Marni I want to date a stripper, I think we have a connection, nevertheless she is a very special person, she was taken aback and did not expect me to tell her how deep of a person she was, what to do I do  next? I want to be fair and upfront with her, but I do not want to make her feel uncomfortable.”


    Marni  answers : “Ok George, stripper or not,  it sounds that you met a woman you were highly attracted to, that you really would like to know  and who you feel you have a connection with. Right?”

    That’s great! Remember this:

    “A woman is a woman whether she is a grocery cashier, a police officer or a stripper; meaning we all have need expectations and sexual desires when it comes to man, and the man we want. I actually happened to be friend with strippers and some pornstars, they all say the biggest turnoff for them is when men treat them like strippers and pornstars instead of like normal women who have feelings. In fact, I’ve actually seen totally awesome men become pervs and hornballs when interacting with strippers and pornstars even when these girls were off duty. These women always handle their behaviour very well, but I could sense that it totally turned them off.

    As long as you treat her like a woman,someone who deserves respect, attention and to hear how do you feel as opposed to just another stripper, you could do no wrong! Even if you didn’t know her occupation i would advice you to be upfront because that what, we girl,crave for men. The goats to tell us how you feel us and your intention.

    So be bold, be yourself and be upfront with her about how you see her. It seems like she’s already taking her guard down as very comfortable to speaking to you. Now turn off the heat. And go after what you want. Trust me there’s a good thing there.”

    I hope that answered you question George.

    For more tips on how to attract, date, seduce and get any girl that you want visit or watch for more videos here on”

    – Marni.

    July 26, 2013 • Sex News • Views: 687

  • Happy Steak and Blowjob Day!

    Happy Steak and Blowjob Day!

    Happy Steak and Blowjob Day!

    Did you know that today, March 14th, is Steak and Blowjob Day?

    I understand if you didn’t know because Steak and Blowjob Day is a relatively new holiday, which needs to be celebrated if it’s ever going to take off.

    So why do we celebrate Steak and Blowjob Day? Continue Reading

    March 14, 2013 • Sex News • Views: 2035

  • Introducing the Home Dildo Maker!

    In part 4 of our Valentine’s Day Gift Guide, we told you about the Clone-A-Willy kit that lets you make dildo out of a real live penis.

    But really, do you really want to use a replica of the same boring old penis that struggles to get you off? Am I right, ladies?

    Well, thankfully Francesco Morackini has created the world’s first Dildo Maker so you can make cool new dildos right in your own home!

    Dildo Maker

    Dildo Maker

    Continue Reading

    February 22, 2013 • Sex News • Views: 3239

  • Valentine’s Gift Guide (part 5) – Oral Sex

    Almost there.

    Just two days away from Valentine’s Day.

    If you haven’t gotten your sweetheart anything, I have bad news for you…

    It’s too late. You’ll never find a good present because everything’s been bought. The only thing you can do now is start thinking of times you didn’t forget Valentine’s Day as a counterpoint for the big fight you’re about to have.

    Really though, it doesn’t matter. So you missed Valentine’s Day? There will be one next year! And to make sure you don’t get sent into the doghouse next Valentine’s Day, we’ve got an amazing gift idea for you and your sweetheart.

    Oral sex enhancers!

    Continue Reading

    February 12, 2013 • Reviews, Toys • Views: 1664

  • Valentine’s Day Gift Guide (part 4) – DIY Dildos

    Oh no.

    We’re less than a week from Valentine’s Day.

    The worst part about Valentine’s Day must be seeing couples do romantic things. It’s a painful reminder that you’ve never loved anyone. The only reason that you even see anyone at all is to satisfy your sexual appetite.

    But the second worst part is definitely the shopping. Shopping is hard no matter what the occasion is. But this ain’t just any occasion. It’s Valentine’s Day. If your present stinks, you could go without sex for months! Which is totally unfair, by the way.

    To save your sex life, we here at have taken it upon ourselves to provide the best possible gift suggestion this Valentine’s Day. That’s why we’re back with the fourth installment of’s Valentine’s Day Gift Guide.

    Continue Reading

    February 8, 2013 • Reviews, Toys • Views: 1829

  • Valentine’s Day Gift Guide (part 3) – Fake Girlfriends

    It is now officially Valentine’s Day shopping crunch time.

    Football has ended.

    Part 1 and Part 2 of’s Valentine’s Day Gift Guide have been online for almost a week.

    You have no more excuses. You have all the tools to make Valentine’s Day great.

    I’m sure a lot of you are single and couldn’t care less about celebrating Valentine’s Day or shopping for Valentine’s Day because the holiday is a reminder that you will be alone forever.

    Well, in Part 3 of’s Valentine’s Day Gift Guide, we’ve found the perfect gift for all the singles in the world…

    Continue Reading

    February 4, 2013 • Reviews, Toys • Views: 993

  • Valentine’s Day Gift Guide (part 2) – Chocolate Portrait

    Valentine’s Day is coming up.

    You’re all like, “What? No it’s not, Valentine’s Day is in February. It’s still January.”

    Well, maybe you should open a calendar, Jack. Because it’s pretty much February and once we hit February 1st, St. Valentine and Cupid are going to put a fucking gun to your fucking head and tell you to do something romantic for your sweetheart.

    Being held up at gunpoint by a saint and a cherub isn’t such a big deal though. The secret to getting out of this jam is “preparedness”. And what could possibly prepare you better than’s Valentine’s Day Gift Guide (part 2)?

    In Part 1, we found the perfect gift to encourage couples to have sex and make art. Now let’s see what part 2 has in store for us…

    Continue Reading

    January 31, 2013 • Reviews, Toys • Views: 513

  • Valentine’s Day Gift Guide (part 1) – Sex Art Kit

    But anyone who has tried to go shopping for their special someone on Valentine’s day knows that Valentine’s Day is really a holiday where you walk around the mall developing an ulcer and then you go to dinner empty-handed and your wife hands you divorce papers.

    Finding that perfect gift for your wife, girlfriend, mistress, crush, or favorite prostitute is never easy. The same is true for finding that perfect gift for your husband, boyfriend, boy toy, man-crush, or favorite gigolo (no sexism on this blog). Since we made sure you had the perfect Christmas with our Christmas Gift Guide, we knew we would have to bail you out again for Valentine’s Day.

    So let’s rip open this big heart shaped box of chocolates that is’s Valentine’s Day Gift Guide (part 1) and shovel it down our throats.

    Continue Reading

    January 29, 2013 • Reviews, Toys • Views: 813