The other day, I received a lengthy email from a concerned Sex.com Blog reader, which I can surmise in a single question:
“DID APRIL O’NEIL RETIRE???”
As you can imagine, the thought that everyone’s favourite sexy nerd and owner of some of the most spectacular breasts the internet has ever seen retiring from porn caused an absolute panic.
What would we do without April O’Neil? Probably find a way to carry on. Try to fill that April O’Neil sized hole in our hearts with new sexy nerds entering the adult industry, but it wouldn’t be the same.
Thankfully, I’m happy to report that no panic is necessary. April O’Neil has yet to retire from porn and I know this because four months ago she released the following PSA on her Instagram heyitsaprilagain.
See! April O’Neil is not retired from porn! She’s just busy attending cosplay conventions and Phoenix Suns games to be shooting porn every day of the week. And good for her! She should enjoy some quality time to herself. She’s earned it.
And since she has us all eating out of the palm of her hand, so it’s not like she needs to be in every porn movie. What other busty pornstar would understand the Dalek love poem you wrote for her? No one, that’s who! And that’s why April O’Neil isn’t going anywhere. Because she’s a real nerd. Not just a nerd, but the hottest nerd. Therefore she is Queen of the Nerds and has the freedom to do as much or as little porn as she wants and her popularity will not falter. Way to go April!
Anyways, while combing through her Instagram for clues as to whether or not she’d retired from porn, it became abundantly clear that April O’Neil’s Instagram is singlehandedly one of the best things on the internet. And this is the entire purpose of this post…EVERYONE NEEDS TO FOLLOW APRIL O’NEIL ON INSTAGRAM. Because while she might not have a new gallery or scene every week, at least you’ll get your fix of April O’Neil through some sexy selfies she’s posting herself.
So follow April O’Neil on Instagram now: heyitsaprilagain.
To reassure you that following April O’Neil on Instagram is the best decision you’ll ever make, here now is a selection of her sexiest Instagram pictures.
So don’t panic.
Everything is fine.
April O’Neil still does porn and maintains one of the best Instagram accounts.
Now let’s enjoy this classic April O’Neil porn video with the hope that there are more of these to come in the near future: