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  • Ten Questions And Answers About BDSM

    Dan Singer is a dungeon master, film director and BDSM educational author at Wasteland and has been actively involved in the BDSM scene since 1975.  Today, he joins us on the Sex.com Blog to answer ten questions about BDSM. You can see more of his writings and films at Wasteland.com.

    1. Why are BDSM Attributes (tools, clothing and gear) often so expensive?

    • There are several reasons why BDSM attributes are expensive. The majority are being sold through the sex-industry where it is normal policy to double or quadruple prices.
    • The market for BDSM attributes is small and many items are being produced in small quantities and often (largely or partially) handmade.
    • Raw materials such as leather are quite expensive.
    • A lot of attributes, such as riding crops, canes, rope, etcetera, are much cheaper when bought in normal consumer outlets, like riding or boat shops, outdoor shops or garden centers.
    • Other items – such as floggers, cuffs, collars and leashes – are relatively easy to make yourself. This can be more fun and a lot cheaper.

    Continue Reading

    October 16, 2014 • Sex, Sex & Dating Tips • Views: 4183

  • Venus In Furs: A Little History In Two Parts

    Dan Singer is a dungeon master, film director and BDSM educational author at Wasteland and has been actively involved in the BDSM scene since 1975.  You can see more of his writings and films at Wasteland.com

    Part I

    Most people have a vague idea that sado-masochism (or as it is sometimes written, sadomasochism or sado/masochism) is named for two people; one of them into inflicting pain (sadism) and one of them into having pain inflicted (masochism). These two men are The Marquis de Sade, born in 1740 and author of many erotic writings including, most famously, Justine, about a man who enjoys inflicting pain upon his mistress. Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, born in 1880, also wrote erotic stories, the most famous of which was called Venus in Furs in which he describes being whipped by a woman while grovelling at her feet dressed in furs like a dog.

    The pleasure/pain dyad was certainly not unknown before this however; as far back as the Middle Ages, many Christian people flogged themselves as punishment during the plague. These “flagellants” took the Black Death to be a sign from God that the end of the world was near. They would process through the streets of towns, beating themselves with chains, rods and sticks, and scourging their flesh. They thought they could atone for their sins through pain, and be spared death by plague, or at the very least, gain God’s forgiveness before death in this way. Regardless of whether these flagellants felt sexual pleasure in this pain (and no doubt some of them did), they did take pleasure in the way their self-inflicted pain brought them closer to God. Continue Reading

    September 17, 2014 • Sex, Sex & Dating Tips • Views: 4206

  • How Do I Have Rough Sex – Chico’s Sex Advice

    Welcome back to another edition of Chico’s Sex Advice where I use all my expertise as a sexpert to answer any questions my beloved readers may have about sex.

    If you need sex advice or if you have a question about sex that needs answering, feel free to send an email to cdusty@sex.com OR use the contact form and I’ll answer as quickly as possible.

    Today’s question comes from RYAN P. Ryan P writes:

    Chico, I’m in a pickle. I’m in a friends-with-benefits relationship with a Latina E.R. nurse who is older than me. The only problem is I may have talked myself up a bit. She’s into rough sex and so I dirty talked the shit out of her. I’m just not 100% sure what constitutes rough sex. Any thoughts?  Big fan of the blog, by the way.”

    Ryan, let me start by thanking you for your excellent question as well as your support. It means a whole lot. Now, onto the answer.

    The problem with rough sex is that there’s no universal definition that exists. A lot of different things can constitute rough sex and it’s ultimately the individual’s tastes that determine what they want when they say, “I’m into rough sex.”

    Let me give you an example. A long time ago, I was hooking up with this a Fine Arts student. In between one of our many dalliances, she let it slip that she was into rough sex. Obviously because I’m a self-confessed pervert, I asked her to show me what she meant by rough sex. She proceeded to get on all fours and asked to be serviced from behind. Now, doing it doggy style is not my definition of rough sex. In my porn-raddled brain, I consider this to be pretty standard procedure, however this was what she considered to be rough sex so I remained tight-lipped and obliged.

    Though given that your lady friend is an older Latina E.R. nurse, I’m willing to bet that she’s a bit more experienced and knows what she wants. Unfortunately for you, I don’t know exactly what that is so instead I’ll list some options for you to try and hopefully you happen to satisfy her need for rough sex.

    SPANKING! 

    6355167 spanking a naughty girl How Do I Have Rough Sex   Chicos Sex Advice

    Source: 37.media.tumblr.com via Bigpen15 on Sex.com

    Though traditionally a form of parental violence, spanking in the bedroom can be lots of fun. Start out by petting and rubbing her behind in a playful manner. Then, when she least expects it, slap her butt lightly and immediately return to petting it. If she responds positively to the spanking with a moan or a giggle or something, gradually slap her butt more often and with more intensity. Keep a solid rhythm while slapping her ass for a transcendental effect.

    If she likes the palm of your hand spanking her ass, try upgrading to a paddle of some kind for next. Or try spanking her tits! Get experimental. But only if she’s into it.

    BITING!

    3342476 biting her ear and touching her pussy How Do I Have Rough Sex   Chicos Sex Advice

    Source: 31.media.tumblr.com via gitem on Sex.com

    Biting, if done right, can provide some incredibly erotic, animalistic pleasure. Slowly kiss and eventually start nibbling all over her body. Hot spots to hit are her neck, shoulders, hips, thighs, and butt.

    Don’t bite her pussy. You wouldn’t want her to bite your dick would you? It’s just common courtesy. Depending on her reaction, bite with more intensity, but never break the skin…I mean…unless that’s what she wants…

    HAIR PULLING!

    4820700 rough sex How Do I Have Rough Sex   Chicos Sex Advice

    Source: harderbabyyeah.tumblr.com via MYWIFHUB on Sex.com

    Pulling your lady’s hair during sex can tug on hair follicles, which in turn stimulates the nerve endings at the back of the neck (which is an erogenous zone). On top of that, pulling hair during sex is an act of aggressive dominance but without being too violent.

    You’re asserting yourself, dominating her, which might just turn her on. Maybe she’s into getting dominated? I don’t know. Pull her hair, see how she reacts and take it from there.

    HOLD HER DOWN!

    3434216 wrists How Do I Have Rough Sex   Chicos Sex Advice

    Source: bounderotica.tumblr.com via Dorian Archer on Sex.com

    Think of this as your intro to bondage. There are times where women want to run their hands all over your body during sex, but don’t let them. Pin her arms down by the wrists and don’t let her move them at all. Pin her to your bed, up against a wall, a desk, wherever! This is an act of dominance that should tickle her rough sex fancy.

    If this drives her absolutely wild, then talk to her about using handcuffs or tethers the next time around because it’s basically the same thing as pinning her down, however she’s consenting to being submissive. And then once you’ve entered the wonderful world of bondage, you can get all kinds of kinky with whips, ropes and whatever else might peak your interest.

    CHOKING!

    4057477 How Do I Have Rough Sex   Chicos Sex Advice

    Source: thetinydick.tumblr.com via 11cm11 on Sex.com

    Honestly, I’m not a fan of choking during sex, but throwing a choke into sex definitely would then constitute the sex as rough. Because choking reduces the oxygen to the brain, and results in somewhat of a hallucinogenic state, it has developed into a fetish for many people. Sadly, many people have died in an attempt to achieve the light-headed orgasm. SO PLEASE BE CAREFUL.

    Personally, I recommend simply holding her neck rather than actually choking her because it provides that same sensation of submission and control. PLEASE BE EXTREMELY CAREFUL WHEN IT COMES TO EROTIC ASPHYXIATION. 

    JACKHAMMERING!

    3231031 skinny blonde on big cock How Do I Have Rough Sex   Chicos Sex Advice

    Source: google.com via kisgeza on Sex.com

    What do I mean when I say “Jackhammering”? I mean think of your dick as a jackhammer and her pussy is piece of concrete that needs to shattered into pieces for the sake of the whole city’s infrastructure. As far as rough sex goes, jackhammering is the most literal interpretation of rough sex. Just pound away with a pace and intensity that has only been seen by male pornstars.  You never know it might just work.

     

    Ryan P., I hope that these suggestions help inspire some confident moves in the bedroom with your older Latina E.R. nurse that likes rough sex.

    While my suggestions are foolproof, I will say this: ASK HER ABOUT WHAT SHE LIKES. The only way you’ll ever be sure of what she wants or how she defines rough sex is through communication. You might find out what gets her off through guesswork but my advice is to talk to her and find out firsthand. Plus, communicating with her shows that you care.

    But thank you for asking me first, it shows how much you care.

    I love answering your sex questions! If you have a sex question for me:

    Send an email to cdusty@sex.com

    OR

    Use the contact submission form.

    July 6, 2014 • Sex, Sex & Dating Tips • Views: 40949

  • Another Semi-Nude Miley Cyrus Video

    Oh Miley Cyrus, you’re like, so sexual and promiscuous and edgy, I just don’t know how the world is going to deal with this edgy video that’s just so goddamn edgy!

    This new video, appropriately titled “Stockholm Syndrome,” is the audio-visual accompaniment to Miley’s fairly awesome and gonzo looking “Bangerz” tour.  At this point, nothing is really surprising when it comes to Miley Cyrus.  She’s been posing topless for every magazine that’ll grace their pages with her boobs, and her sexualized antics have been pasted across mainstream media for months and months.

    Say what you will about Miley Cyrus, but she certainly knows how to create substantial buzz for herself.  The video is directed by mixed media artist Quentin Jones, and mixes some nice psychedelia with suggestions of light S&M and half-naked Miley dancing around.

    I find myself liking this video and song.  It looks cool aesthetically and, to be honest, I’m a closet Miley fan.  I guess not closet anymore, because I just admitted it on your favourite blog, the Sex.com blog.  Miley Cyrus, keep on doing your thang.  It makes my job easier because I always have stuff to write about, and, despite what people might say, the more Miley Cyrus nudity there is in the world, the better.

    Here’s some Miley Cyrus pictures to remind you that, despite media over-saturation, Miley Cyrus is actually still a babe!

    3771188 miley cyrus camel toe Another Semi Nude Miley Cyrus Video

    Source: mtlblog.com via firsthead on Sex.com

    3771182 miley cyrus wears a see through mesh top Another Semi Nude Miley Cyrus Video

    Source: mtlblog.com via firsthead on Sex.com

    4942283 miley cyrus topless photo shooting for german w magazine Another Semi Nude Miley Cyrus Video

    Source: c-celebs.com via dannybunny on Sex.com

    2546699 damn miley has been working out Another Semi Nude Miley Cyrus Video

    Source: images6.fanpop.com via sk1 on Sex.com

    And here’s some proof that BDSM themed photos, which you can find plenty of in the Sex.com BDSM category, isn’t all that scary and can be really hot. Though obviously a lot of it is really weird and scary (to me).

    2152652 masterstriussubmission only strengthens a relationship Another Semi Nude Miley Cyrus Video

    May 5, 2014 • Pictures & Vids, Porn, Sex News • Views: 21192

  • How To Avoid Getting Too Drunk To Have Sex

    mariebillyhor big img1 How To Avoid Getting Too Drunk To Have Sex

    Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

    Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone!

    Many millions of years ago today, some Irish dude was so drunk that he claimed he drove all the snakes out of Ireland. To celebrate this achievement in ludicrous claims that drunk people make, we get as drunk as possible every March 17th. And that’s the real history of St. Patrick’s Day.

    I love St. Patrick’s Day because though other holidays encourage drunkenness, St. Patrick’s Day is the only holiday specifically about getting drunk. And there’s nothing that bring people together quite like drinking.

    But though drinking brings people together, too much drinking can make it difficult for people to cum together. Alcohol contains ethanol, which acts as a vasoconstrictor. In other words, your blood vessels get thicker, therefore blood flows through the body more slowly. The penis gets hard from the increased flow of blood to it, so since blood is flowing more slowly through the body, the drunker you are the more it is difficult to get hard.

    There’s nothing that would upset me more than hearing you had a dope St. Patrick’s Day but you were too drunk to have sex. So to make sure you get laid this St. Patrick’s Day, here are a few tips to avoid getting too drunk to have sex.  Continue Reading

    March 17, 2014 • Sex & Dating Tips • Views: 3172

  • What’s the Most Overrated Sex Act?

    tumblr mqxlluCc1C1qemq1jo1 1280 Whats the Most Overrated Sex Act?

    SEX, YOU DINGUS

    This question may seem absurd – personally speaking, I have a really hard time calling ANY sex act overrated.  It’s sex after all.

    For me, asking which sex act is the most overrated is like asking which flavour of Doritos is overrated – screw that, give me one bag of each so I can go home and eat them all silently in the dark.  What I’m trying to say is that I’m down for WHATEVER.  Lay it on me.  I can handle it.

    Yes, that’s right, I’m not a picky guy.  If you’ve lost self-control or gone completely crazy for a few minutes and have decided to have sex with me for some reason, I’m not going to turn you away….and I’m not going to be stuck up about how you want to get down to business..

    …Well unless you want to give me a handjob, but that’s obvious, because everyone hates handjobs.  Handjobs are like the Godfather III of sex acts – boring, tedious, unanimously the crappiest of the bunch.  I’m already predicting a runaway winner in this poll.  Prove me wrong!  Continue Reading

    January 20, 2014 • Polls • Views: 2368

  • $42,000 For A Webcam Show?

    52 $42,000 For A Webcam Show?

    Mistress Madeline

    An auction for a private one-hour webcam session with Kink.com director Mistress Madeline has ended at $42,000.

    Yes, FORTY-TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR AN HOUR LONG WEBCAM SESSIONContinue Reading

    January 8, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 747

  • Sex Gifts

    before saying i do some brides are stripping down for a sexy photoshoot as a pre wedding gift to Sex Gifts

    This is what I really wanted for Christmas

    Christmas 2013 is about to wrap up and maybe it’s just me but it’s been another huge letdown. That’s not to suggest that I didn’t some sick material goods that I have absolutely no use for, but it just sucks because sex acts are still considered “inappropriate” gifts.

    Now I have to wait a month and a half until Valentine’s Day before receiving a sex act as a gift from my significant others (yes, plural).

    So now that you have all your presents piled up and waiting to be re-gifted  next year, I’m curious to know what you guys would have really wanted this Christmas.

    If you could have had any of these sex acts as gifts this Christmas, which would it have been:

    HEY THANKS FOR VOTING.

    There’s always Valentine’s Day to get the sex act you wanted this Christmas. And if not Valentine’s Day…there’s always next Christmas.

    If the sex act you wanted this Christmas isn’t in that poll, please tell us what you wanted in the comments!

    December 25, 2013 • Polls • Views: 1051

  • Ivy and Jake’s Many Shades of Grey

    cover x art ivy jake many shades of greycover Ivy and Jakes Many Shades of Grey

    Ivy

    Say what you want about 50 Shades of Grey but the one good thing about that franchise is that it’s responsible for regular couples exploring a kinkier side of sex.

    With all the sex that’s readily available on the internet and in mainstream media, we’re all going to get kinkier if we ever want to get our rocks off. Of course, kinky sex doesn’t need to be scary. Just follow Ivy and Jake’s lead as they experiment with some soft-BDSM.  Continue Reading

    December 15, 2013 • BABES • Views: 3487

  • Top 10 Tips To Surviving Black Friday

     Top 10 Tips To Surviving Black Friday

    Black Friday

    Today is Black Friday, the only day of the year where it’s socially acceptable to trample and beat people to death in order to get 50% off on some crap you’ll never use.

    Depending on when you’re reading this, you’re either about to get killed by a crowd of angry shoppers or you’re already dead. Hopefully it’s the former because I have the Top 10 Tips To Surviving Black Friday. If you’ve already been killed by the rabid Black Friday shoppers, you have no use for these tips.

    Are you ready to find out how you’re going to survive Black Friday? Well here’s the Top 10. Continue Reading

    November 29, 2013 • TOP 10's • Views: 1354