Calico Rudasil
Posts

  • I’m Glad Charlie Was Joking – Because Brett Can Do Better

    artleo.com 41879 I’m Glad Charlie Was Joking – Because Brett Can Do Better

    Brett Rossi

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    If like me, you sometimes find yourself with nothing better to do than to peruse the ample supply of celebrity-related news available to us courtesy of the Western Media, then you know a couple of weeks ago C-grade comic actor and self-proclaimed mega-genius Charlie Sheen blasted out a tweet suggesting that he had gotten hitched to his ex-pornstar girlfriend, Brett Rossi.

    As Charlie so eloquently put it: “this is the house ware M Gorbachev R Reagan did some epic. it’s also where S and I GOT MARRIED! c #RumorMilUhPede.”

    As the hashtag that closed the semi-literate tweet indicates, this announcement was a joke aimed at a rumor-hungry world – which is good news for Brett Rossi, because it means that she still has the chance to NOT marry Charlie Sheen.

    Now, I don’t know the first thing about Brett Rossi, but I still know this much: She can do better.  Continue Reading

    February 14, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 977

  • Now That’s What I Call Multitasking!

    sex with food Now That’s What I Call Multitasking!

    Tralala…Making me special sauce…

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    Taken individually, there’s nothing particularly impressive about the acts of eating, masturbating, physically resisting arrest by cops, or being insanely high on meth. But, to do all of those things at the same time? That’s some serious multitasking!  Continue Reading

    January 21, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 290

  • Anthony Weiner Take Note: THIS is How to Handle a Sexting Scandal

     

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite. 

    I’m no stranger to ripping on celebrities – hell, that’s pretty much my go-to angle for sex-related posts and articles these days – but today, it’s not curses I bring for a young celebrity who’s at the center of a sexting scandal, but praise.

    It appears that former Disney star Dylan Sprouse, who as a far younger star played the role of Adam Sandler’s adopted son in Big Daddy (a movie I resolutely refuse to see, on the basis that it…. Well, that it stars Adam Sandler), has had a couple of relatively intimate selfies find their way onto Twitter, presumably by way of a former girlfriend blasting them out.  Continue Reading

    December 19, 2013 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 392

  • HuffPo: Seriously…. WTF?

     HuffPo: Seriously…. WTF?

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    It seems like every other week, there’s some new story about a school teacher getting caught sleeping with one of his or her students. It’s the sort of tawdry, sleazy tale that mainstream media outlets just can’t seem to get enough of – especially if the teacher involved is a woman who is at least slightly more attractive than a bowl full of rotting fish guts.

    In this age of “related news items” that are designed to add context to the story you’re reading, it’s no surprise that when you read a story about one teacher-turned-molester there’s bound to be a sidebar story about similar cases, or in the in case of a site like the Huffington Post, a slick little slideshow that gives you a visual reference to accompany your morning’s dose of crappy, vaguely stomach-turning news. Continue Reading

    December 11, 2013 • Sex News • Views: 249

  • I’ll Take “Things One Normally Doesn’t Associate with Wisconsin” for $2000, Alex

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “Wisconsin?” Is it cheese, perhaps? The Green Bay Packers? A bit of both?

    Whatever it is that the Badger State brings to mind for you, I’m willing to bet that thing is not nude beaches – but lo and behold, Wisconsin doesn’t just have a nude beach, it evidently has a problem with public sex taking place at that nude beach.  Continue Reading

    December 4, 2013 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 685

  • Your Local DMV: Redefining ‘Auto-Eroticism’ Since 1915

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    I have to admit feeling a bit of sympathy for public masturbators, especially when their offense comes in the context of some highly sexualized environment, like the produce section at Safeway, public library bathrooms, or their local Department of Motor Vehicles.

    What’s so damn sexy about the DMV, you ask? Continue Reading

    November 25, 2013 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 315

  • You Didn’t Really Believe That BS About Jenna Jameson Being a “Savvy Businesswoman,” Did You?

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    Did you know the word “gullible” isn’t in the dictionary?

    If you stopped reading for a second to find out for yourself whether the line above is true, then you just might be one of those people who actually believed the line about former mega-pornstar Jenna Jameson being a brilliant businesswoman.

    In case you’re not familiar with that faker-than-female-orgasms-in-porn claim, here’s how Defy magazine put it, just a few years back:  Continue Reading

    November 18, 2013 • Porn, Porn News & Highlights • Views: 584

  • One-Trick Donkey-Punch: The Porn Industry’s Obsession with Celebrity Job Offers

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    I remember when I was about to turn 18, I made a short list of things I was going to do on or around my 18th birthday, just because now I could do them, as someone who had passed the magical, arbitrary threshold that welcomes teenagers into the wonderful, debt-ridden world of adulthood.

    On that list were some pretty obvious and not-so-horrible ideas, like voting and opening my own checking account, as well as some equally obvious but not-necessarily-so-sharp ones, like getting a tramp-stamp and smoking a cigarette – the latter of which might not have been so bad, except that not knowing any better, I eagerly sucked the smoke deep into my lungs as one does when ripping bongs, leading me to cough up curious little things that appeared to be tiny extraterrestrial body parts, complete with a working blood supply.

    One thing that I didn’t put on my list was “make a porn movie.” This didn’t fail to make the list because I had considered and rejected the idea; it was because I wasn’t a celebrity.  Continue Reading

    November 6, 2013 • Porn, Porn News & Highlights • Views: 1030

  • Brazil, Backsides and Bribery: Miss Bumbum Blemished by Backdoor Deals

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    Is nothing sacred anymore?

    In a sad indication of just how low some women will sag (even before Father Time takes care of that for them), word is that the 2013 Miss Bumbum competition – the contest that officially designates the owner of Brazil’s best booty – has been marred by corruption, with two top contestants allegedly forking over thousands of dollars to judges in order to put in the fix for their own fannies. Continue Reading

    October 30, 2013 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 1142

  • This is Why You Should Never Say “Bite Me” to a Brit

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    Let’s say you’re playing video games one evening, and your next door neighbor asks you to kindly turn down the volume a tad: do you…

    (a) comply and turn down the volume, but not so much that you can’t hear your digital shooting victims gargling and groaning their way through highly entertaining death throes;

    (b) tell your neighbor to shove it up his ass, because you need to be able to hear what’s going on in order to have a chance in the fast approaching final battle with the game’s primary ‘boss’ character, or

    (c) head over to your neighbor’s house and chew off his cock?  Continue Reading

    October 24, 2013 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 593