Calico Rudasil
Posts

  • I’m Glad Charlie Was Joking – Because Brett Can Do Better

    artleo.com 41879 I’m Glad Charlie Was Joking – Because Brett Can Do Better

    Brett Rossi

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    If like me, you sometimes find yourself with nothing better to do than to peruse the ample supply of celebrity-related news available to us courtesy of the Western Media, then you know a couple of weeks ago C-grade comic actor and self-proclaimed mega-genius Charlie Sheen blasted out a tweet suggesting that he had gotten hitched to his ex-pornstar girlfriend, Brett Rossi.

    As Charlie so eloquently put it: “this is the house ware M Gorbachev R Reagan did some epic. it’s also where S and I GOT MARRIED! c #RumorMilUhPede.”

    As the hashtag that closed the semi-literate tweet indicates, this announcement was a joke aimed at a rumor-hungry world – which is good news for Brett Rossi, because it means that she still has the chance to NOT marry Charlie Sheen.

    Now, I don’t know the first thing about Brett Rossi, but I still know this much: She can do better.  Continue Reading

    February 14, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 1140

  • Now That’s What I Call Multitasking!

    sex with food Now That’s What I Call Multitasking!

    Tralala…Making me special sauce…

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    Taken individually, there’s nothing particularly impressive about the acts of eating, masturbating, physically resisting arrest by cops, or being insanely high on meth. But, to do all of those things at the same time? That’s some serious multitasking!  Continue Reading

    January 21, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 333

  • Anthony Weiner Take Note: THIS is How to Handle a Sexting Scandal

     

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite. 

    I’m no stranger to ripping on celebrities – hell, that’s pretty much my go-to angle for sex-related posts and articles these days – but today, it’s not curses I bring for a young celebrity who’s at the center of a sexting scandal, but praise.

    It appears that former Disney star Dylan Sprouse, who as a far younger star played the role of Adam Sandler’s adopted son in Big Daddy (a movie I resolutely refuse to see, on the basis that it…. Well, that it stars Adam Sandler), has had a couple of relatively intimate selfies find their way onto Twitter, presumably by way of a former girlfriend blasting them out.  Continue Reading

    December 19, 2013 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 489

  • HuffPo: Seriously…. WTF?

     HuffPo: Seriously…. WTF?

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    It seems like every other week, there’s some new story about a school teacher getting caught sleeping with one of his or her students. It’s the sort of tawdry, sleazy tale that mainstream media outlets just can’t seem to get enough of – especially if the teacher involved is a woman who is at least slightly more attractive than a bowl full of rotting fish guts.

    In this age of “related news items” that are designed to add context to the story you’re reading, it’s no surprise that when you read a story about one teacher-turned-molester there’s bound to be a sidebar story about similar cases, or in the in case of a site like the Huffington Post, a slick little slideshow that gives you a visual reference to accompany your morning’s dose of crappy, vaguely stomach-turning news. Continue Reading

    December 11, 2013 • Sex News • Views: 305

  • I’ll Take “Things One Normally Doesn’t Associate with Wisconsin” for $2000, Alex

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “Wisconsin?” Is it cheese, perhaps? The Green Bay Packers? A bit of both?

    Whatever it is that the Badger State brings to mind for you, I’m willing to bet that thing is not nude beaches – but lo and behold, Wisconsin doesn’t just have a nude beach, it evidently has a problem with public sex taking place at that nude beach.  Continue Reading

    December 4, 2013 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 795

  • Your Local DMV: Redefining ‘Auto-Eroticism’ Since 1915

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    I have to admit feeling a bit of sympathy for public masturbators, especially when their offense comes in the context of some highly sexualized environment, like the produce section at Safeway, public library bathrooms, or their local Department of Motor Vehicles.

    What’s so damn sexy about the DMV, you ask? Continue Reading

    November 25, 2013 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 364

  • You Didn’t Really Believe That BS About Jenna Jameson Being a “Savvy Businesswoman,” Did You?

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    Did you know the word “gullible” isn’t in the dictionary?

    If you stopped reading for a second to find out for yourself whether the line above is true, then you just might be one of those people who actually believed the line about former mega-pornstar Jenna Jameson being a brilliant businesswoman.

    In case you’re not familiar with that faker-than-female-orgasms-in-porn claim, here’s how Defy magazine put it, just a few years back:  Continue Reading

    November 18, 2013 • Porn, Porn News & Highlights • Views: 693

  • One-Trick Donkey-Punch: The Porn Industry’s Obsession with Celebrity Job Offers

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    I remember when I was about to turn 18, I made a short list of things I was going to do on or around my 18th birthday, just because now I could do them, as someone who had passed the magical, arbitrary threshold that welcomes teenagers into the wonderful, debt-ridden world of adulthood.

    On that list were some pretty obvious and not-so-horrible ideas, like voting and opening my own checking account, as well as some equally obvious but not-necessarily-so-sharp ones, like getting a tramp-stamp and smoking a cigarette – the latter of which might not have been so bad, except that not knowing any better, I eagerly sucked the smoke deep into my lungs as one does when ripping bongs, leading me to cough up curious little things that appeared to be tiny extraterrestrial body parts, complete with a working blood supply.

    One thing that I didn’t put on my list was “make a porn movie.” This didn’t fail to make the list because I had considered and rejected the idea; it was because I wasn’t a celebrity.  Continue Reading

    November 6, 2013 • Porn, Porn News & Highlights • Views: 1208

  • Brazil, Backsides and Bribery: Miss Bumbum Blemished by Backdoor Deals

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    Is nothing sacred anymore?

    In a sad indication of just how low some women will sag (even before Father Time takes care of that for them), word is that the 2013 Miss Bumbum competition – the contest that officially designates the owner of Brazil’s best booty – has been marred by corruption, with two top contestants allegedly forking over thousands of dollars to judges in order to put in the fix for their own fannies. Continue Reading

    October 30, 2013 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 1292

  • This is Why You Should Never Say “Bite Me” to a Brit

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    Let’s say you’re playing video games one evening, and your next door neighbor asks you to kindly turn down the volume a tad: do you…

    (a) comply and turn down the volume, but not so much that you can’t hear your digital shooting victims gargling and groaning their way through highly entertaining death throes;

    (b) tell your neighbor to shove it up his ass, because you need to be able to hear what’s going on in order to have a chance in the fast approaching final battle with the game’s primary ‘boss’ character, or

    (c) head over to your neighbor’s house and chew off his cock?  Continue Reading

    October 24, 2013 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 654

  • A Diplomatic Opportunity Ruined…by Prime Minister-Shaming

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    Today, Calico comes to the Sex.com Blog to talk about how porn ruined a chance for diplomacy.

    It’s a sad day on the web when a man can’t express interest in a little Persian porn without everybody jumping all over his case. I mean c’mon; “the Internet is for porn,” remember?

    Continue Reading

    October 17, 2013 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 359

  • So That’s Why I Love My Barcalounger and Other Sexual Epiphanies

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    Today, Calico comes to the Sex.com Blog to talk about the new show Masters Of Sex and sexual epiphanies had in barcaloungers.

    As you’ve probably heard, Showtime recently released a new dramatic series called Masters of Sex, a fictionalized behind the scenes account of the work of sex researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson, the academicians/lovers who transformed our scientific understanding of sex with the research they undertook at Washington University starting back in the 1950s.

    While I was initially disappointed to learn that Masters of Sex was not, in fact, a He Man porn parody, in reading early reviews of the series, it sounds promising – sort of like HBO’s amazing drama series The Wire, only a lot less heroin, the wiretaps are all consensual, and instead of tearing back the veil on the role of corruption, incompetence and personal ambition in law enforcement and the machinery of public policy, it’s focused on why some guys like to jerk off to pictures of inanimate objects, while other guys can only be aroused by pictures of people being flogged by those same inanimate objects.  Continue Reading

    October 9, 2013 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 318

  • High Risk Sex, or Creative Means of Dodging a Murder Charge?

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    Today, Calico Rudasil comes to the Sex.com Blog to talk about the recent tragedy of a couple whose night of sex on the train tracks was ruined by an on-coming train.

    Call me a skeptic, but….

    A man in the Ukraine who survived an incident in which he was run over by a speeding locomotive, told the Ukranian Interior Ministry that he and his girlfriend “failed to overcome their natural passion when walking home” and decided to have a roll in the hay on a set of freaking railroad tracks.

    What happened next was actually fairly predictable and pretty easily avoided, unless you have no idea what a train is, are stone deaf, and capable of such amazing sex that neither you nor your partner would notice several tons of steel, wood, counterfeit cigarettes (probably), Vodka (for sure) and Ukranian hobos bearing down on you at high speed: the intimately entwined couple got run over by – you guessed it! – a fucking train.  Continue Reading

    October 2, 2013 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 476

  • 50 Shades of Franchise

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    Today, we’re happy to have Calico Rudasil come by the Sex.com Blog and vent her 50 Shades franchise frustration.

    Let me just admit up front that I haven’t read the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy, and I don’t plan to. I don’t have a particularly good reason for refusing to crack its cover, really – except for the fact that 50 Shades started out life as Twilight fan-fiction, and I’m neither 13 years old nor a fan of vampire and/or werewolf stories.  Continue Reading

    September 25, 2013 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 403

  • OK, There Is ONE Exception to the ‘Don’t Send Dick Pics’ Rule

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    We couldn’t be happier to have Calico Rudasil come by the Sex.com Blog and rethink her “Don’t Send Dick Pics” Rule.

    I know I’ve climbed atop the virtual soapbox before and implored men everywhere to stop sending out pictures of their genitals, whether to the women in their lives or the general public, but there’s nothing like a hilarious photo of a talk show host’s horrified face to make one realize that there are no absolutes in life – and that yes, sometimes it is OK to text a picture of your cock to a complete stranger.

    Earlier this month, “Today” co-host Hoda Kotb showed herself to be U.S. Congressional material, at least where mastery of technology is concerned, by accidentally displaying her cellphone number on national television while attempting to demonstrate how the new Samsung Smartwatch syncs with her phone. Predictably, Kotb was quickly inundated with calls and texts – including one sent by a man who was kind enough to send Hoda a picture of “his junk.”  Continue Reading

    September 18, 2013 • Funny, Stuff • Views: 482

  • Et Tu, Pippi? Enough with the Pseudo-Celebrity Sex Tapes Already

    pip pip Et Tu, Pippi? Enough with the Pseudo Celebrity Sex Tapes Already

    Tami Erin

     

    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

    We couldn’t be happier to have Calico Rudasil come by the Sex.com Blog and vent her frustration over pseudo-celebrity sex tapes.

    OK, it is now official: celebrity sex tapes have vaulted the selachimorpha.

    With the word that Tami Erin is poised to release a sex tape of her own into the wild – strictly as a last ditch effort to prevent an evil ex from wringing profit from said tape, of course – the bar for such tapes receiving media attention has plummeted so low, a Jake Busey solo masturbation video might warrant a dedicated segment on The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer.

    Who is Tami Erin, you are almost assuredly asking right about now? Well, around 25 years ago, she played the title character in The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking, which was either an edge-of-your-seat political thriller that explored the most harrowing days of the Cold War, or an entirely forgettable family film about some annoying ginger kid, her horse, and a pet monkey named Mr. Falciparum Malaria.  Continue Reading

    September 12, 2013 • Porn, Porn News & Highlights • Views: 690

  • Is Sexual Objectification OK?


    Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic website for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.
    Today, Calico brings her knowledge and experience in erotica here to the Sex.com Blog to ask one complicated question, “Is Sexual Objectification OK”

    It’s a question I feel like I shouldn’t have to struggle with, given that I’m an advocate of sexually explicit expression (AKA “porn”), and if there’s one tried and true staple of that expressive form, it’s the objectification and fetishizing of people, body parts, physical traits, sex acts and so on.

    On the other hand, like a lot of women, I’ve been on the other end of undesired objectification more than a few times, and fully understand the involuntary “Eeewww, ick!” reaction that courses through a person’s being when they realize that, for example, some slovenly, fidgeting creepazoid has been thoroughly fixated on the area surrounding the back pockets of your jeans since four subway stops ago.

    The objectification question first struck me long before I cracked the cover of any feminist tome, well in advance to my first exposure to any porn more hardcore than select issues of National Geographic, but it didn’t really trouble me much until I became sexually active, and got a taste of what it’s like when a fetish goes a bit too far.

    My first brush with the feeling came when I was out on what I wasn’t sure was a date, but sure hoped was a date. Continue Reading

    August 29, 2013 • Sex, Sex & Dating Tips • Views: 959