Seattle police are warning Seahawks fans to be wary of Seahawks tickets being offered on Craiglist in exchange for sex.
Seattle’s KING 5 found more than a dozen people (i.e.: men) advertising Seahawks tickets in exchange for sex or a date. KING 5 also said, “Some of the ads were vulgar and detailed the sexual acts the individuals were hoping to engage in.”
HAHAHA! Don’t sound so shocked KING 5. If these men are willing to trade Seahawks tickets for sex over Craigslist, obviously they have no problem with being vulgar. In fact, I would say that trading Seahawks tickets for sex over Craigslist lacks sophistication and good taste, which is the very definition of vulgar. As for detailing the sex acts, that’s just good business practise. Your customer deserves to know in advance whether or not they’re going to be choked during sex or experimenting with strange new sex positions.
One of the men advertising Seahawks tickets in a exchange for sex apparently didn’t even have Seahawks tickets! He wanted to find a date before he bought the tickets.
“People do what they are going to do,” said Jordan Stobbe, who said she would go on a date in exchange for a ticket but not agree to sex. “There are a lot of weird things on Craigslist and no one gets busted for it.”
“I wouldn’t want anyone I know responding to it, but you know, different strokes for different people,” said Brendan Hart.
Seattle police said that some of the posts are tiptoeing into illegal territory as its possible solicitation. Officers admit that the perpetrators are unlikely to be prosecuted because proving the exchange was anything more than two consenting adults coming together to do what God intended us to do could be difficult.
They have advised people to avoid the posts entirely or at the very least proceed with caution. Yeah. No shit. When you read the Craigslist post LET ME FUCK YOU AND I’LL GIVE YOU SEAHAWKS TICKETS, you probably should proceed with caution.
Now, I don’t really care about football because it’s not basketball. But if you were to ever trade sex for football tickets, the Seattle Seahawks are the way to go. Not just because they’re the defending Superbowl Champions, but because they once professed their love for Tori Black’s ass. And it was their love for Tori Black’s ass that eventually led them to a championship.
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[h/t: KING 5]