jerking off
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  • Man Caught Jerking Off Into Coworker’s Coffee

    So in recent news, a Minnesota man working at a hardware store was caught jerking off into his coworker’s coffee in order to get her attention. He later admitted that he had done so twice before since February and had jerked off on her desk a couple of other times too because he was attracted to her. Police later inspected the desk and found the man’s semen all over the place. I could just imagine the semen stains that came up under black light and it’s not a pretty picture. I wonder if he found Chico’s 29 Excuses for Why You Won’t Cum Tonight useful on the days he did it.

    I’m not quite sure how she didn’t quite notice the taste of semen in her coffee beforehand. She says she suspected the cream was spoiled but… have you ever tasted salty spoiled cream? Why didn’t she think that was weird?

    The man is now facing a 4500$ fine and a possibility of a year in jail. You guys ask me for advice all the time, so I’m just going to impart a little bit more of my wisdom on this topic today, while simultaneously hoping you guys wouldn’t need it:

    Do not jerk off into your coworkers’ coffee.

    Do not jerk off into any of your coworkers’ food.

    Do not jerk off onto your coworker (or anyone) unless you have permission to do so in any way.

    Get permission first, then go right ahead and jerk off on whatever you both like.

    And if you’re having trouble getting someone’s attention at work…literally just ask them to have lunch with you on their break or buy them a semen-less coffee. Not hard. (Pun intended)

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    September 5, 2014 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 13653

  • Masturbate As Much As Possible for Masturbation Month

    May is usually associated with warm weather, blooming trees, flowers and getting day-drunk every day in the park while skipping as much work as possible.  Did you also know that May is the unofficial month celebrating  masturbation?  IT’S TRUE.

    I know that, considering the fact that you are currently reading articles on a pornography site’s blog, you likely celebrate masturbation every single minute of every day of every month, but for all the prudes/squares out there, now’s your chance to whip it out on the regular and masturbate freely.

    I say unofficial because Masturbation Month is not (yet) recognized by the UN.

    Good Vibrations, an online sex toy provider, started up Masturbation Month in 1995 to pay respects to former Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders, who was given the boot by conservatives for suggesting that masturbation should be taught to school children as a safe and natural sexual practice.

    Masturbation Month is used to promote Elders’ message of masturbation education, while also acting as a ‘fuck you’ to the stuffy old bigwigs who like to plug their ears, chant “la la la la,” and pretend like the concept of sex doesn’t enter anyone’s minds until they step into their wedding suite.  Fuck those bigwigs!

    Beyond acting as a form of peaceful protest, masturbation has several benefits that you should know about so you don’t get immediately stricken with crippling Catholic guild as soon as you rub one out:

    1) It feels good.  Masturbation feels great, and you don’t even need to seduce anyone to do it.  For someone like me, who is so good looking that people are too intimidated to have sex with me, this is an important point.

    2) It makes your sex life better.  Masturbation can help you increase your sexual stamina, and it can also help you determine what feels good, important information that you can pass on to your partner when they humor you with yet another handjob.

    3) It has health benefits.  You can lose weight through masturbation.  Masturbation also provides a bevy of other possible medical boons, and can help you, for example, notice if you got a cancerous lump on your gonads.

    Masturbation, in a word, is awesome.  Why you tryna hate on masturbation?  Just celebrate it like the rest of the world, you dingus, and don’t feel guilty about it.

    In celebration of Masturbation Month, please peruse all of these photos of women masturbating.  To enhance your viewing pleasure, imagine that all of these photographs were taken in the month of May, masturbation month, and join in on their fun.

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    Source: Uploaded by user via RamseyOzil on Sex.com

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    And also, while perusing Sex.com for masturbation pictures and gifs, I stumbled upon this one. Whoever uploaded this is my hero:

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    Source: hornyrandy.com via hornyrandy on Sex.com

    For more info about Masturbation Month, visit the Good Vibrations website.

    May 5, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 16913

  • Chico Dusty’s Top 10 Handjobs

    347889 300x199 Chico Dustys Top 10 Handjobs

    Victoria Rae Black

    Most people’s first sexual experience was either on the giving or the receiving end of a handjob. And it was awesome, wasn’t it?

    Getting felt up through your jeans. Your pants coming undone. The person you’re with reaching in and tugging on your junk. Simpler times…

    The emphasis on manual stimulation seemed to decrease as we became more experienced. But why?

    Continue Reading

    June 27, 2012 • TOP 10's • Views: 729