Justin Bieber
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  • If Nipples are Banned from Instagram, These 9 Things Should Also Be Banned

    Instagram has a no-nipple policy which has gotten a lot of attention in the past weeks, and has proven to be quite the contentious subject du jour, drawing influential involvement and opposition from celebrities such as Scout Willis, Grace Coddington and Rihanna.

    Here at Sex.com we believe that nipples, bodies and sex are evil and they should be completely banned from social media. In an effort to curb all of the perverts that want to promote sexuality, we have put together a list of additional elements that should be banned from social media. In doing so, Instagram and Facebook can be certain that nobody will every look at sexually explicit photographs on the internet ever again, unless they visit Sex.com

    1. Jen Selter

    Here is a woman who got famous, and I mean gracing-the-pages-of-mainstream-fashion-magazines famous, by showing off her toned physique in a series of scandalous Instagram photos. But because she doesn’t show her nipples, but rather her abs, butt, cleavage I guess its OK. We should probably ban her from Instagram, just so people don’t get too aroused.

    shutterstock 193861526 e1403011615835 If Nipples are Banned from Instagram, These 9 Things Should Also Be Banned

    2. Cleavage

    Showing every other part of the breast except the nipple is totally fine, because as long as you don’t see the actual nipple, its totally not sexually suggestive and all of the kids and repressed adults who look at pictures of cleavage don’t know what a boob looks like, right? Ban all pictures of cleavage, for the kids.

    shutterstock 183169580 e1403011636584 If Nipples are Banned from Instagram, These 9 Things Should Also Be Banned

    3. Miley Cyrus

    Miley Cyrus poses naked in almost every second picture that appears of her on the Internetz. She promotes sexuality, her concerts are sexually explicit, she’s not ashamed of her body and flaunts it, but if she shows her nipples, well then she’s banned from Instagram. Makes sense! Ban her.

    Miley Cyrus If Nipples are Banned from Instagram, These 9 Things Should Also Be Banned

    4. Lips

    Lips have been used to kiss before, and lips are involved in a variety of different sex acts and promote sex before marriage and being a slut, or something. Ban all pictures of lips because lips are the devil.

    shutterstock 93778816 e1403011693729 If Nipples are Banned from Instagram, These 9 Things Should Also Be Banned

    5. Adult performers

    Hey, these people acted in porn films before! You better ban them from social media because if someone sees a picture of a pornstar hanging out beside a pool with her friends, everyone who sees that picture will immediately go to a website like Sex.com and become a porn-watching pervert for the rest of their lives. Ban all pornstars from Instagram.

    Screen Shot 2014 06 06 at 1.18.23 PM e1403011727111 If Nipples are Banned from Instagram, These 9 Things Should Also Be Banned

    6. People enjoying bananas

    The eating of bananas is too suggestive for social media because when I see someone eating a banana it reminds me that I’m over-weight and should eat more fruits and vegetables. But to be real, a banana looks like a penis, so when someone eats it they are promoting illicit sexual acts. #banbananapics

    shutterstock 86200249 1 e1403011742915 If Nipples are Banned from Instagram, These 9 Things Should Also Be Banned

    7. Girl-on-Girl Action

    You know what’s really offensive? Lesbians. You know what’s even more offensive? Celebrities pretending that they’re lesbians. One pair of boobs in a picture is offensive enough, and now you want to include two pairs of boobs? Ban all girl-on-girl action, because it makes me feel funny inside.

    Rihanna and Shakira e1403011762490 If Nipples are Banned from Instagram, These 9 Things Should Also Be Banned

    8. Justin Bieber

    This one should be pretty self-explanatory. Justin Bieber is a huge moron. Fuck that guy. And his perpetual nipple-flashing. Ban him.

    Justins Chest If Nipples are Banned from Instagram, These 9 Things Should Also Be Banned

    9. #aftersex

    If you include the word sex in a hashtag it means that you are promoting sex on the Internet and promoting sex on the internet is evil. This one is especially bad because it promotes inclusion and participation amongst people on social media. First someone sees #aftersex on their Instagram feed, and next thing you know they’re putting the word “nipple” into a Google Image search. Ban this shit before the epidemic spreads.

    shutterstock 162971687 e1403011791295 If Nipples are Banned from Instagram, These 9 Things Should Also Be Banned

    Yes, that’s right, all of the above items promote sexuality, smut, pornography, etc. There’s no room for that kind of garbage on our social media networks, which are so wholesome and positive! Let’s promote body and sex shaming on social media.

    Luckily, if you want to see sexy pictures covering all of the above (with the exception of Bieber…though there’s probably some Bieber erotica actually ☹ ) you can just visit www.sex.com and stop wasting your time on Instagram and Facebook!

    June 17, 2014 • Porn, Porn News & Highlights • Views: 23861

  • Bieber’s Brazilian Babe, Tati Neves, 1st Porn Scene!

    Remember Tati Neves?

    For those of you who don’t, Tati Neves is the Brazilian burlesque model that totally banged Justin Bieber.

    Well, earlier this week it was revealed that Tati Neves isn’t just a model/alleged escort. She’s also a pornstar!

    Continue Reading

    November 22, 2013 • Porn, Porn News & Highlights • Views: 1605

  • Tati Neves: The Brazilian Babe That Banged Bieber

    tatineves1 copy Tati Neves: The Brazilian Babe That Banged Bieber

    Tati Neves

    I’m sure by now, you’ve all seen Youtube’s hottest gossip. It’s a video titled “Justin Bieber sleeping with Girl in Brasil“.

    If you haven’t, here it is:

    CAN YOU BELIEBE IT?

    Justin Bieber is asleep and shirtless with a smiling Brazilian babe filming him.

    Naturally, everyone wants to know what this Brazilian babe was doing filming Justin Bieber.

    Well there a few different theories… Continue Reading

    November 7, 2013 • Sex News • Views: 915

  • Justin Bieber’s nude photos. Don’t get too excited, there’s a catch…

    1346791521 justin bieber article 300x224 Justin Biebers nude photos. Dont get too excited, theres a catch...

    Justin Bieber sex tape?

    Amidst the throwing up on stage in Arizona and dying on Twitter, Justin Bieber was having a real rough month.

    To top it all off, Beebs (personal friend of the Blog so we like to use his nickname “BEEBS“) tweeted about some “personal footage” going missing. Selena Gomez sex tape? KEEP READING AND FIND OUT. I’m not going to blow my big scoop in the first two paragraphs. Jeez.

    A few hours after the tweet, the internet was buzzing with a photo of a young, faceless man holding his penis (presumably flaccid). The man in the photo had a the same bird tattoo on his hip as Justin Bieber.

    So why hasn’t Sex.com offered millions of dollars to get the photo or the rumored sex tape?

    That’s because it’s all a hoax.

    Continue Reading

    October 12, 2012 • Sex News • Views: 487