A little while ago, Chico Dusty did a post about a douchebag millionaire named Dan Bilzerian who threw an adult actress named Janice Griffith off the roof of his mansion. I know that he is a douche bag for the following reasons:
a) he threw a woman off of his roof,
b) he has self-declared himself as “Instagram’s Biggest Playboy.”
Those are the two reasons I got, but that’s enough for me!
Anyways, Mr. Instagram Playboy himself might need to direct some of his hard earned cash towards a new lawsuit surrounding his insane actions. Like any court case, there’s two sides of the argument. Janice Griffith claims that Bilzerian was negligent and threw her off of his roof, breaking her foot. He, on the other hand, claims that it was part of a photo shoot, and that the magazine should be held accountable for any legal issues.
IT’S THE GREAT INTRIGUE OF 2014 GUYS, WILL JANICE GRIFFITH SUCCESSFULLY SUE?
Unfortunately, the legal defence of “I’m a rich guy, I can do whatever I want!” usually manages to convince judges, so we’ll probably see the case get ‘thrown out’ or settled out-of-court. Bilzerian’s legal team did manage to fit a couple somewhat funny one-liners into their defence statement, though it’s not exactly professional. The statement reads (as directed towards Janice Griffith):
Janice Griffith, on the other hand, is claiming damages for the broken foot she received as a result of the ill-thought-out stunt. I guess she should have known that dudes who build empires off internet poker are usually scraggly nerds who sit in front of computers every day, and probably aren’t strong enough to throw a grown women (despite the fact that she is porn categorized as petite) off a roof and into a pool. I’m not necessarily implying that all dudes who sit in front of computers all day are scraggly nerds, because that’s my job, and I’ll have you know that I’m an OVERWEIGHT nerd. So there.
Check out our previous post to watch the video footage again – pretend you’re the poor judge who will have to solemnly shake their head while wondering to themselves ‘I became a judge so I could bring justice to the world. How did I end up presiding over these bumbling morons?”
Ultimately, this seems like one of those classic American small claims battles. Janice Griffith will end up with some spending money out of Bilzerian’s pocket, he’ll continue to be a millionaire who can throw women off of buildings, we’ll forget any of this happened, and the American legal system will continue to be a farce.