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  • Gabrielle Union Talks Masturbation on Conan

    If you’re not sexually attracted to Gabrielle Union, GTFO.

    She’s easily one of the sexiest human beings on planet Earth and continues to provide evidence of her infinite sex appeal every time she drops by the Conan show.

    Last week, Gabrielle Union went on Conan to promote the new season of her show Being Mary Jane but ended up promoting female masturbation too.

    Watch Gabrielle Union talk about “beating off” (her words, not mine) below.  Continue Reading

    February 18, 2015 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 4115

  • 5 Reason Why Pornstars Hate 50 Shades of Grey

    There are a lot of reasons why you should hate 50 Shades of Grey.

    It’s poorly written, it’s a lazy representation of a sub/dom relationships, its movie adaptation looks like a very expensive piece of crap and it’s the reason for more sex toy related injuries in the United States.

    But why do pornstars hate 50 Shades of Grey?

    Well, Funny Or Die teamed up with pornstars Nadia Styles, Mercedes Carrera and Nina Elle to figure out why pornstars hate 50 Shades of Grey.

    Continue Reading

    February 13, 2015 • Funny, Porn, Porn News & Highlights, Stuff • Views: 7263

  • Sex Toy Injuries Have Spiked Since 2011

    According to a new report from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, hospital visits necessitated by sex toy injuries have doubled in the last eight years, with a huge increase in 2011 and 2012.

    What happened in 2011 and 2012 that caused such a spike in sex toy-related injuries across America?

    The publication of the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy.  Continue Reading

    February 13, 2015 • Sex News • Views: 3986

  • This Is How Women Really Feel About Dick Pics

    Nothing illustrates the fact that men and women have different definitions of “sexy” than dick pics.

    Traditionally, women find a man in uniform sexy. You know why? Because this disgusting genitalia is covered up and they don’t have to look at it!

    Meanwhile, ,en find nude women sexy. So, when they want to appear sexy to women, they tend to not take into account that what is sexy to them is not universally sexy.

    Specifically, there are some men that think their penis, when photographed with low-lighting and way too many pixels, is the sexiest thing in the world. Women can’t resist!

    But there in lies the problem. You men are sorely mistaken if you think a shitty dick pic will turn a woman on, let alone appreciate it.

    To prove that I’m not just talking out of my ass, watch “Women React To Dick Pics” below.  Continue Reading

    February 13, 2015 • Funny, Sex, Sex & Dating Tips, Sex News, Stuff • Views: 6521

  • Girl Pours Acid on Boyfriend’s Penis After He Leaked Their Sex Tape

    As if the new revenge porn laws sweeping the globe weren’t enough to discourage people from leaking their sex tapes, this story of retaliation will make you want to never post anything online ever again.

    A teenage girl threw acid on her boyfriend’s lap when she discovered that he had secretly filmed them having sex with his laptop and that the sex tape had subsequently been made available on the Internet. Is it safe to assume that he’s now her ex-boyfriend?  Continue Reading

    February 10, 2015 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 2809

  • Tech Company Offers Night with Pornstar As Employee of the Year Bonus

    A tech security firm is offering its employees one incredible bonus: a night with Chinese pornstar Julia.

    Compared to the gift certificates, plaques or salary gouges most companies offer as incentives to their employees, the chance to win a night with a pornstar definitely makes showing up for work less of a chore.  Continue Reading

    February 6, 2015 • Porn News & Highlights • Views: 5004

  • New Zealand Couple Caught Having Sex In The Office!

    When in the throes of passion, it can be easy to forget things. Like, for example, that the office you’re having sex in has massive glass windows and everyone on the street can see you.

    That’s the lesson a Christchurch, New Zealand couple learned the hard way on Friday night when they left the lights on and got spotted by pedestrians in the midst of a hot sex in the office romp ,according to the New Zealand Herald.  Continue Reading

    February 4, 2015 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 7983

  • Randy Quaid Posts Bizarre Rant Video and Fucks His Wife in Rupert Murdoch Mask

    In October, 2010, Randy Quaid and wife Evi Quaid were arrested in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada and subsequently applied for refugee status on the grounds that they feared for their lives in the United States. They claimed that numerous actors have died under mysterious circumstances committed by the “Hollywood star whackers”. And so asylum from the Hollywood star whackers is as simple as sneaking into Canada?

    Obviously, this is all totally crazy.

    But yesterday, Randy Quaid and wife Evi decided to crank the crazy up a notch by sharing a bizarre, conspiracy-filled rant video railing against Rupert Murdoch, Warner Brothers, News Corp and what he calls “police-media corruption.”

    But the “police-media corruption” isn’t even the strangest part. The real crazy is when Randy puts a Rupert Murdoch mask on Evi Quaid and “fucks” her as Rupert Murdoch at the end.  Continue Reading

    February 4, 2015 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 2811

  • Syrian Rebels Got Fooled By Hackers with Sexy Pics

    Syrian opposition fighters were foiled when hackers used sexy pics dripping with malware to infiltrate their computers, because not this is the reality of war in the 21st century. Even when you take a break to masturbate, they’re still coming for you.

    Here’s how it hackers fooled and subsequently foiled Syrian rebels with sexy pics:  Continue Reading

    February 3, 2015 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 2172

  • Someone on the Nashville Predators Broadcast Was Watching Porn

    One of the best things about hockey is the sounds. The skate blades cutting into freshly scraped ice. Some poor bastard’s bones getting checked into the boards. That ping of the puck ricocheting off the crossbar that silences 20,000 cheering fans. The organ honking away. It’s an underrated part of a beautiful game.

    One thing you never expect to hear at a hockey game is the dulcet moans of a pornstar getting her pussy filled by a hard cock (unless you’re watching the hockey game at my house, which in that case you should expect to hear the dulcet moans because I have a lot of “work” to do and I can’t wait until the end of the game to watch it because it’s for “work”). But if you tuned in to see the St. Louis Blues host the Nashville Predators, you definitely heard someone watching porn during the game.  Continue Reading

    January 30, 2015 • Funny, Porn, Porn News & Highlights • Views: 11279

  • With Tori Black on Their Side, The Seahawks Are Destined To Win The Super Bowl

    After making a dramatic comeback in the NFC Championship game, the Seahawks are back in the Super Bowl this Sunday.

    When asked about the heroic comeback, Seahawks QB Russell Wilson told MMQB’s Peter Wilson, “That’s God setting it up, to make it so dramatic, so rewarding, so special. I’ve been through a lot in life, and had some ups and downs. It’s what’s led me to this day.”

    It could be God’s plan to have the Seahawks win the Super Bowl. It could be Russell Wilson’s God given talent. It could be Pete Carroll coaching the shit out of that team.

    But last year, we made the bold prediction that the Seahawks were going to win the Super Bowl because they had uber pornstar Tori Black behind them. And since Tori Black is still a proud member of the 12th Man, we’re willing to go out on a limp and say…  Continue Reading

    January 29, 2015 • Funny, Porn, Porn News & Highlights, Sex, Sex News, Stuff • Views: 5663

  • Mia Khalifa Got Some Thirsty, Cringeworthy DMs From Drake

    Mia Khalifa, the Lebanese via Florida pornstar who was recently crowned the most popular pornstar in the world*, revealed last night in an interview with a Miami sports radio told a story about “someone” (99% sure it’s Drake) who has been sliding into her DMs on Instagram with some thirsty, cringeworthy messages.  Continue Reading

    January 27, 2015 • Porn, Porn News & Highlights • Views: 5342

  • Farrah Abraham Has New Blow-Up Doll and It’s Terrifying

    The more Farrah Abraham tries to get blood (i.e. money) from the stone that was her short-lived and over-reported career as a pornstar (not a celebrity who had a sex tape leaked!), the unless animosity I feel towards her.

    At the height of the Farrah Abraham porn video’s height, she was the bane of my existence. Every day, she was appearing somewhere to refute the claims that her “sex tape” was in fact a sex tape and not a regular porn video. To see her blatantly lie only to have people eat it up was infuriating.

    But ever since Farrah Abraham released that replica of her asshole, that animosity has been replaced by sadness. We are officially in the Sad Era of Farrah Abraham’s celebrity.

    Over the weekend, the Farrah Abraham Saga only got sadder with the release of the new Farrah Abraham blow-up doll because the doll looks like something straight out of your nightmares. If your first thought when seeing the Farrah Abraham blow-up doll is, “I want to stick my dick in there,” …you got problems, dude.  Continue Reading

    January 26, 2015 • Porn, Porn News & Highlights, Sex, Toys • Views: 5984

  • Dude Got a Doctor’s Note To Avoid Strenuous Work During Sex

    A man named Shaun blew out his back and couldn’t perform his usual sexual duties on account of his injury. Naturally, he obtained a doctor’s note to prove it. Just when you’ve all but lost faith in the health care system, this comes along to remind us that some doctors are cool as hell.

    Take a look at this doctor’s note clearing this lucky man from taking charge in the bedroom. Continue Reading

    January 26, 2015 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 3695

  • Fifty Shades of Grey Movie Will Not Feature Bizarre Tampon Scene

    I had my fair share of problems with Fifty Shades of Grey when I read it to see what all the fuss was about.

    Without a doubt, the part of the book I liked the least was the inexplicably awful scene where Christian Grey pulls a tampon out of Anastasia Steele’s pussy. It’s just…gross…

    It seems that I’m not alone in hating the Fifty Shades of Grey tampon scene as Jezebel is reporting that it will not be in the movie adaptation.  Continue Reading

    January 23, 2015 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 7986

  • Wife Chops Off Cheating Husband’s Penis, Twice.

    REMINDER #1: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

    REMINDER #2: Don’t use your wife’s cellphone to send sultry emails to your side-piece.

    Hopefully you don’t need to be reminded of these rules. But I tell ya, China’s Fan Lung sure could have used those reminders before his wife chopped off his penis…twice.  Continue Reading

    January 13, 2015 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 1539

  • 16 Weird Gifts Pornstars Want From Their Fans

    If there’s one thing that all pornstars have in common, it’s that they won’t turn down a chance to be spoiled by their fans. And that’s not even limited to pornstars. I would be willing to guess that 99% of humans will accept gifts at random. It would be rude not to accept!

    But the problem is, a lot of porn fans are total creeps (myself included). So rather than receive a picture of themselves covered in a fan’s cum as a gift, most pornstars make Amazon wish lists. With an Amazon wish list, when adoring fans want to shower their favorite stars with gifts, the stars in question get something they actually want.

    Sometimes I get to perusing the Amazon wish lists of my favorite pornstars, just to see what they want. Most of the time I’m like, “Cool.” But sometimes, the items on the list can’t help but raise my eyebrows.

    Here now are 16 weird gifts pornstars want from their fans.  Continue Reading

    January 8, 2015 • Funny, Porn, Porn Lists, Pornstars, Stuff • Views: 13030

  • Things To Stick Your Penis In, Ranked

    If you have a penis, you’ve no doubt had the urge to stick it into any crevice available in hopes of finding an exciting new way to make your dick barf up a big load of cum.

    Based on my experience, not every available hole is a good home for a penis be it flaccid or erect.

    To help you better assess whether or not a hole is worth sticking your dick into, we’ve gone ahead and ranked the top things to stick your penis in from worst to best.  Continue Reading

    January 5, 2015 • Funny, Sex, Sex & Dating Tips, Stuff • Views: 8412

  • This Is What Would Happen If Tim Burton Directed Porn Movies

    Love him or hate him, there’s no denying that Tim Burton is one of the most iconic directors of American cinema.

    I’m sure most of you are rolling your eyes at that statement, but it’s true. It doesn’t matter that his movies decline in watchability with every release, what matters is that he’s consistent with creating worlds that are visual feasts for your eyes.

    But have you ever wondered what it would be like if Tim Burton directed porn movies instead of cartoonish nightmare movies?  Continue Reading

    December 17, 2014 • Funny, Porn, Porn News & Highlights, Stuff • Views: 3949

  • The 10 Strangest Sex Toys of the Year

    Sex toys have one purpose and one purpose only: make getting off even more fun.

    However, sexual satisfaction varies from person to person because we’re all beautiful, unique snowflakes. So sometimes…a sex toy designer will come up with a new sex toy that they’re convinced will help the sex positive adults of the world have a better time cumming, but when it’s unleashed on the world, the reception isn’t as warm as they hoped because it turns out the sex toy they’ve made is actually totally fucking weird.

    So far, 2014 has been an excellent year for weird sex toys. And since Black Friday is coming up and the Christmas season is upon us, we thought it would be a good idea to show you the 10 Strangest Sex Toys of the Year, so you know not to stuff your significant other’s stocking with these weird sex toys.  Continue Reading

    November 21, 2014 • Funny, Sex, Stuff, Toys • Views: 15298