Last December, I recommended all long distance lovers buy the tele-dildonic sex toys EFEELINK. In case you missed it, the EFEELINK is a male masturbator cup and a vibrator that can be connected and controlled via app. What I loved about the EFEELINK is that couples in long distance relationships could have less frustrating sex lives by controlling one another’s sex toys.
As a thank you for writing the “Sex Toys For Long Distrance Lovers” post, I received a free male masturbator cup and a vibrator. That’s when it all came crashing down.
First of all, if there really is an app to control the EFEELINK it’s impossible to find and download to your Android phone. So there goes the connectivity and sharing of sexual contact despite being miles away.
Second of all, the toys are very low-quality. The fly mamacita that tried the vibrator said that it couldn’t hold a charge and when it did the vibrations were so weak she couldn’t get off at all. Meanwhile when I tried to male masturbator cup, I hated it. Maybe it’s just me but I don’t find sticking my dick into some freezing cold silicone to be very much fun. Once you get over the coldness of the EFEELINK and start stroking, it feels fine but it can’t stop queefing!
Of all the things they tried to do for long distance lovers, the only thing they got right was recreating queefs. Terrible. Just terrible.
So anyways, I’m sorry for recommending the EFEELINK. It’s a terrible gift for long distance lovers (unless you’re the kind of couple that really gets off on disappointment). I guess the only thing for long distance lovers can do to stay sexually satisfied is have more Skype sex.
To make up for recommending the EFEELINK, I will now give you some Skype sex tips to make sure that you and your long distance lover are having the best Skype sex possible. Ready? OK! Continue Reading