In case you have a birthday coming up and are at loss for what to do for it, you should absolutely take a few tips from Miley Cyrus’ recent birthday bash. Continue Reading
If you follow the Sex.com blog or the adult industry in general, then you’ve probably heard of Carter Cruise. One of porn’s fastest rising stars in the last year or so, Carter won the Fan Choice Award for Best New Starlet at the 22nd Annual NightMoves Awards. That’s a prestigious accomplishment! We’re totally enamoured with Cruise here at the Sex.com blog, and if you haven’t already, you can check out some of our previous posts about her:
Thankfully, we finally got the chance to ask this blonde bombshell of a pornstar a few questions!
Instagram has a no-nipple policy which has gotten a lot of attention in the past weeks, and has proven to be quite the contentious subject du jour, drawing influential involvement and opposition from celebrities such as Scout Willis, Grace Coddington and Rihanna.
Here at Sex.com we believe that nipples, bodies and sex are evil and they should be completely banned from social media. In an effort to curb all of the perverts that want to promote sexuality, we have put together a list of additional elements that should be banned from social media. In doing so, Instagram and Facebook can be certain that nobody will every look at sexually explicit photographs on the internet ever again, unless they visit Sex.com
1. Jen Selter
Here is a woman who got famous, and I mean gracing-the-pages-of-mainstream-fashion-magazines famous, by showing off her toned physique in a series of scandalous Instagram photos. But because she doesn’t show her nipples, but rather her abs, butt, cleavage I guess its OK. We should probably ban her from Instagram, just so people don’t get too aroused.
Showing every other part of the breast except the nipple is totally fine, because as long as you don’t see the actual nipple, its totally not sexually suggestive and all of the kids and repressed adults who look at pictures of cleavage don’t know what a boob looks like, right? Ban all pictures of cleavage, for the kids.
3. Miley Cyrus
Miley Cyrus poses naked in almost every second picture that appears of her on the Internetz. She promotes sexuality, her concerts are sexually explicit, she’s not ashamed of her body and flaunts it, but if she shows her nipples, well then she’s banned from Instagram. Makes sense! Ban her.
Lips have been used to kiss before, and lips are involved in a variety of different sex acts and promote sex before marriage and being a slut, or something. Ban all pictures of lips because lips are the devil.
5. Adult performers
Hey, these people acted in porn films before! You better ban them from social media because if someone sees a picture of a pornstar hanging out beside a pool with her friends, everyone who sees that picture will immediately go to a website like Sex.com and become a porn-watching pervert for the rest of their lives. Ban all pornstars from Instagram.
6. People enjoying bananas
The eating of bananas is too suggestive for social media because when I see someone eating a banana it reminds me that I’m over-weight and should eat more fruits and vegetables. But to be real, a banana looks like a penis, so when someone eats it they are promoting illicit sexual acts. #banbananapics
7. Girl-on-Girl Action
You know what’s really offensive? Lesbians. You know what’s even more offensive? Celebrities pretending that they’re lesbians. One pair of boobs in a picture is offensive enough, and now you want to include two pairs of boobs? Ban all girl-on-girl action, because it makes me feel funny inside.
8. Justin Bieber
This one should be pretty self-explanatory. Justin Bieber is a huge moron. Fuck that guy. And his perpetual nipple-flashing. Ban him.
If you include the word sex in a hashtag it means that you are promoting sex on the Internet and promoting sex on the internet is evil. This one is especially bad because it promotes inclusion and participation amongst people on social media. First someone sees #aftersex on their Instagram feed, and next thing you know they’re putting the word “nipple” into a Google Image search. Ban this shit before the epidemic spreads.
Yes, that’s right, all of the above items promote sexuality, smut, pornography, etc. There’s no room for that kind of garbage on our social media networks, which are so wholesome and positive! Let’s promote body and sex shaming on social media.
Luckily, if you want to see sexy pictures covering all of the above (with the exception of Bieber…though there’s probably some Bieber erotica actually ☹ ) you can just visit www.sex.com and stop wasting your time on Instagram and Facebook!
Miley Cyrus has out-done herself yet again.
Last night, Miley Cyrus performed at London’s G-A-Y Heaven, where she made a suggestive comment about date rape that made it sounds ok.
“You know, everyone’s a little bit gay,” she told the crowd. “It’s the truth. Everyone’s gay, all it takes is one cocktail. And if that doesn’t work, sprinkle something in their drink. That’s what I always do.”
While I do agree with Miley that everyone is in fact a little bit gay because sexuality isn’t black and white. Sexuality is more like fifty shades of grey (see what I did there?). But date rape is seriously uncool.
I was date raped once. The year was 2009. My friend Doug was about to marry a lovely young lady named Tracy, and right before the wedding my friends Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis and Bradley Cooper decided to have a bachelor party for Doug in glamorous Las Vegas. We were all having a great time, until suddenly I blacked out and woke the next morning with Ken Jeong’s dick in my mouth. Not cool.
Anyways, Miley Cyrus has made up for her deplorable date rape comment by going full porn on stage.
There was the usual ass-flaunting:
And there was some finger-banging:
But Miley, being Miley, took it to a whole new level when she decided to ride a huge inflatable cock:
And then things really went crazy when Miley Cyrus took a blow-up doll and started to suck him off:
So while Miley Cyrus definitely loses points for her date rape comment, she also managed to gain a lot of points for showing London (and the world) that she’s got some serious blowjob skills and that she can ride a massive dick.
So…I guess everything cancels out and we can just continue on with our day while we eagerly await the day that Miley is so turnt up on molly that she finally has sex on stage. Simulating sex on stage is cool Miley, but if you really want to turn up you got to do the real deed on stage.
Oh Miley Cyrus, you’re like, so sexual and promiscuous and edgy, I just don’t know how the world is going to deal with this edgy video that’s just so goddamn edgy!
This new video, appropriately titled “Stockholm Syndrome,” is the audio-visual accompaniment to Miley’s fairly awesome and gonzo looking “Bangerz” tour. At this point, nothing is really surprising when it comes to Miley Cyrus. She’s been posing topless for every magazine that’ll grace their pages with her boobs, and her sexualized antics have been pasted across mainstream media for months and months.
Say what you will about Miley Cyrus, but she certainly knows how to create substantial buzz for herself. The video is directed by mixed media artist Quentin Jones, and mixes some nice psychedelia with suggestions of light S&M and half-naked Miley dancing around.
I find myself liking this video and song. It looks cool aesthetically and, to be honest, I’m a closet Miley fan. I guess not closet anymore, because I just admitted it on your favourite blog, the Sex.com blog. Miley Cyrus, keep on doing your thang. It makes my job easier because I always have stuff to write about, and, despite what people might say, the more Miley Cyrus nudity there is in the world, the better.
Here’s some Miley Cyrus pictures to remind you that, despite media over-saturation, Miley Cyrus is actually still a babe!
And here’s some proof that BDSM themed photos, which you can find plenty of in the Sex.com BDSM category, isn’t all that scary and can be really hot. Though obviously a lot of it is really weird and scary (to me).
Miley Cyrus has been acting X-rated for almost two years now, and in that time no one in the porn industry has tried to give her the parody treatment. Isn’t that strange?
I mean, Miley Cyrus in past few months alone has:
- Masturbated on Instagram.
- Performed nearly nude.
- Showed 17 million people her fist-shaped dildo.
- Given Bill Clinton a blowjob.
- Posed topless.
- Released a music video that looks like a sex tape.
Miley Cyrus posted this picture on Instagram yesterday. The caption she wrote for this picture was, “#fuckyeahtampa yasss that’s a bruise on my arssss“.
Hm…bruise eh? Should have gone #nofilter because I don’t see no damn bruise. But I do see some funny business going on with her hand and her “pussy region”. Please excuse the technical medical jargon.
Let’s take a closer look:
Hm…interesting. I still don’t see a bruise but there’s definitely something else going on…
Let’s get a little bit closer…
Y’all see that bruise? Just kidding. That’s Miley Cyrus masturbating on Instagram. Unfortunately it’s just some light masturbation. More of a pussy-tickle-tease than full on masturbation. I’m sure all of you were hoping to see an Instagram video of Miley Cyrus using her fist dildo to which I say, give it a few days. If she keeps this pace up, eventually she’ll have no more shocking material other than showing the world how she likes to fist herself. Yikes. Actually I hope that never sees the light of day. Celebrities should be allowed to fist themselves in private.
You know what’s messed up though? A few months ago, I posted almost the exact same picture on my own personal Instagram and they deleted my account. I just wanted to show all my fans this bruise on my butt and maybe my finger tips were almost touching my taint. Miley gets to show 9 million followers her bruise but not me. Celebrities…am I right?
If you live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, chances are haven’t had the best luck in your life. Why else would you be in Milwaukee?
However, Milwaukeeans that went to see Miley Cyrus on her BANGERZ tour Sunday night were lucky enough to see Miley Cyrus perform “23” in nothing but her underwear.
As Miley explained via Twitter, “Not a new outfit for 23. I didn’t make my quick change and I couldn’t not come out for the song so I just had to run out in my undies :(.”
Ok sure. I’ve been following Miley Cyrus since she first swapped her good-girl persona for sex-crazed maniac and I can guarantee you that the regular outfit for “23” is absolutely no different than her underwear.
But that’s not important. What’s important is that you watch Miley sing in her underwear:
Hahahaha. What is that stage hand doing? How much you want to bet that everything was fine but he just wanted to get a face full of ass before going back to work?
And how about Miley’s taste in underwear? Not bad. Not bad at all.
Now please, no more Miley until she has a sex tape leak.
As an internet-famous person, I can tell you first hand that fame has a way of has a way of turning you into a sex-crazed, attention-starved maniac.
For proof of this, we need only to look to actual famous person Miley Cyrus, who already totally synonymous with sex-crazed, attention-starved manic already. But in typical Miley fashion, she’s taken it to a whole new level.
The Hand Of Adonis is designed specifically for fans of fisting. Nice Miley. Here’s the manufacturer’s description:
NOT for the faint of heart, the Hand of Adonis is a unique tool for size enthusiasts, or anyone interested in fisting. The ultra realistic, 16 1/2 inch arm ends in a ‘duck bill’ positioned hand, with thick fingers for lots and lots of sensation. The realistic feeling, SilAgel filled rubber material is firm, yet quite flexible, and able to bend and twist for the perfect fit inside. It’s also anti-bacterial, non-toxic, and latex and cadmium free for safe enjoyment. The Hand tool is very large, quite heavy, and so not well suited to beginners, but if you’re experienced with large sized toys, you’ll love it. Check out the Fist of Adonis too!
Some of you might be surprised to see Miley Cyrus using a 16 1/2 inch fist shaped dildo, but just to remind that Miley Cyrus is very famous. And though that might mean she gets to drink Fiji Water on a private jet, it also means that the average dildo can’t get her off anymore. :( . Poor little rich girl.
Miley, my hands are very slender and unusually soft…so if you’re ready to take on a real fist, I’d like to nominate myself to do the honors. We can talk about what it’s like to famous and sexually depraved. It will be great.
Miley Cyrus can’t stop trying to be sexy in the weirdest possible ways.
Wait. Did I say sexy? Sorry I got confused because usually when a celebrity simulates oral sex in front of thousands of fans, it’s sexy. Miley Cyrus simulating giving Bill Clinton a blowjob isn’t sexy. Maybe it is? I don’t know. I think it’s supposed to be shocking, just like the other parts of the Bangerz Tour where Miley rubs her crotch, rides a hotdog, and wears a leotard made of weed leaves.
However, Miley Cyrus pretending to give Bill Clinton isn’t shocking so much as it is confusing.
During the “Party in the USA” portion of Miley’s Bangerz Tour, Miley dances with a a woman dressed as the Statue of Liberty, two women in a Mount Rushmore headdresses and a little person wearing a Liberty Bell costume. Then Bill Clinton enters and Miley kneels in front of him and pretends to fellate him.
Here’s a closer look at Miley Cyrus pretending to give Bill Clinton a blowjob.
Bill Clinton got a blowjob from Monica Lewinsky in 1998. Miley Cyrus was born in 1992. No one’s made a Bill Clinton blowjob joke since 2000. What the hell is Miley doing and why is she doing it?
I guess pretending to blow a President of the United States is the only way to sell records these days.
I’d like to conclude this post by pointing out Miley’s eyes in that photo. As you can see, she’s looking up at fake-Bill Clinton. She’s trying to establish eye contact while giving a blowjob. Eye contact is one of the hottest things a woman can do while giving a blowjob. It’s so simple yet very effective. Therefore, if Miley Cyrus is trying to establish eye contact during a fake, on-stage blowjob there’s only one conclusion that we can come to…Miley Cyrus gives really good blowjobs.
If someone can hook me up with backstage passes to Miley’s Bangerz Tour, I’ll be able to either confirm or deny that Miley Cyrus gives really good blowjobs. Until I get those backstage passes, let’s continue to believe there’s nothing quite like a Miley blowjob.