Move over Carmelo Anthony! You’re no longer the prized pig of the NBA 2014 free agent class! To be fair, you’re still a very prized pig but c’mon dude, play some D once and a while, but Lebron James’s agent has announced that the best player in the world will be opting out of his six year contract with the Miami Heat early to test the market and hopefully end up on a team where he doesn’t have to drag the whole roster to the NBA Finals by himself.
Continuing with our sports themed playoff prediction poll coverage (because porn viewers are the most knowledgeable sports analysts in the world), we at Sex.com are curious to know who our readers think will take home the NBA championship title?
Last week, we asked you who was going to take home the NHL Stanley Cup. The winner was the Montreal Canadiens – a somewhat surprising result considering we get more American readers here than we do Canadian.
Now, with the NBA playoffs having reached the conference finals, it seems like a good time to pick the winner. The remaining teams are about as unsurprising as one could imagine. The conference finals bracket probably mirrors many analysts’ pre-season playoff selections down to a tee. That’s one of the reasons why I don’t enjoy the NBA as much: there seems to be less room for underdog stories and upsets.
The NBA is in a bit of a rough spot right now.
With the playoffs in full swing, and with the Raptors no doubt on their way to winning their first NBA title after continuing to dominate the Brooklyn Nets (as a wise man once said, fuck Brooklyn), the spotlight has shifted away from the sport and onto the beleaguered owner of the L.A Clippers.
Yup, the video evidence is conclusive. David Sterling is a huge racist. This should not come as a surprise, since he’s always been a huge racist. But on top of being a huge racist, were you aware that David Sterling is also a huge womanizer? In 2003 he was involved in a big sex scandal where he admitted to paying for prostitutes, or, as he called them in his testimony, ‘freaks,’ who he then banged all over his Beverly Hills Apartment.
Here’s a funny quote from David Sterling’s testimony in 2003:
David Sterling. You’re rich as a motherfucker. You may be old as dirty and look like a melting marshmallow covered in dust, but you still manage to have sex with young, attractive women. As an aside, isn’t it weird that Sterling is dating a non-white person? Freaky. Anyways, you also happen to own one of the most popular and coolest NBA teams around right now, and you’re willing to throw all of that away so you can huff and puff and try to act like a big shot about these delusional ideals that guide your morals?
Fuck that guy. Huge loser. I’m only posting about him because of that funny sex scandal excerpt I found. Dude is a waste of a human, otherwise. Let’s all laugh at him, take some time to consider the segregation and discrimination that still exists in our world, watch as he flails around hurling this and that lawsuit, and then wait until he gets forgotten about and bites the dust.
In the mean time, here’s a bunch of pictures of interracial scenes. Can’t we all get along? TAKE THIS, YOU SCUMBAG:
Why can’t we all just get along and not cheat on our wives and have sex with people of every race and live in a happy peaceful world? We are sexual beings. We all have to live on this fucking rock until it explodes or gets taken over by aliens or gravitates into the sun, so fuck racism and fuck David Sterling.
Sex will always be this blog’s top priority. However, basketball will always be a close second. And with the 2014 NBA Playoffs match-ups set and ready to start Saturday April 19th, I thought we’d spend today predicting the first round of NBA Playoffs.
Of course, I understand that very few of you read the Sex.com Blog for my amateur basketball analysis. You’re here to see celebrity sex tapes and nude babes, maybe find out about some hot new sex positions or get a practical sex tip. So rather than just flap my yap about my favorite NBA teams, I have included some hot babes representing their favorite NBA Playoff teams.
So are you ready to see who’s going to advance from the first round of the NBA Playoffs?
The Indiana Pacers (1) vs. The Atlanta Hawks (8).
Indiana Pacers babe:
Atlanta Hawks babe:
In terms of Babes…I think the Atlanta Hawks take this one. There’s something about Atlanta Hawks cheerleader Juliana’s toned body that just makes me want her team to win.
In terms of actual basketball…though the Pacers were reeling towards the end of the season, Atlanta finished the season with a losing record (37-44) which in my mind means they shouldn’t even be in the NBA Playoffs. Pacers win in 7 games.
The Miami Heat (2) vs. The Charlotte Bobcats (7).
Miami Heat babe:
Charlotte Bobcats babe:
The Charlotte Bobcats babe you see is Bobcats cheerleader Alyssa, and she is very fine. But the Miami Heat babe you see is former pornstar Abella Anderson. In my opinion, Abella Anderson is a lot like Lebron James. You might not be a fan, but you have to admit that there’s no one on her level. So Miami takes the babe contest.
As for actual basketball, the Miami Heat still have Lebron James so…good job making the NBA Playoffs Charlotte but you’re about to get swept.
The Toronto Raptors (3) vs. The Washington Wizards (6).
Toronto Raptors babe:
Washington Wizards babe:
Maybe it’s just me, but I think the Washington Wizards have the hottest cheerleading uniforms of any sport. I can’t explain why, they just are. However, Leanna Decker is still Leanna Decker so Toronto takes the babe category.
And what about actual basketball? Since Toronto is still technically a Canadian city, I want them to lose. But they also hired Drake as a special consultant earlier this season, which is really cool. Though it kills me to say it…Toronto in 5 games.
The Chicago Bulls (4) vs. The Brooklyn Nets (5)
Chicago Bulls babe:
Brooklyn Nets babe:
Technically, I think Beyonce should be the Houston Rockets babe, but whatever. That nude Chicago Bulls fan is hot, but Beyonce is Beyonce. Babe goes to the Nets.
Now for basketball, for some reason I have a hard time believing that Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett have enough left in the tank to make a deep post-season push. But then again, first-year coach Jason Kidd has a lot of playoff experience…
Without Derrick Rose, the Bulls have still been able to be competitive. If Joakim Noah keeps playing as well as he has been, Bulls in 6 games.
The San Antonio Spurs (1) vs. The Memphis Grizzlies (8).
San Antonio Spurs babe:
Memphis Grizzlies babe:
Since Leanna Decker was already seen in this post (and won) for the Raptors, I have no choice but to give this babe match-up to actual San Antonio Spurs fan and one of the world’s most fapped to babes Selena Gomez.
Meanwhile, in the actual match-up between these two teams, the Spurs are going to cruise to the second round of the NBA Playoffs in 4 games because Tim Duncan and Greg Popovich have proved time and time again that they’re a force to be reckoned with.
The Oklahoma City Thunder (2) vs. the Dallas Mavericks (7).
Oklahoma City Thunder babe:
Dallas Mavericks babe:
Those Mavs cheerleaders sure are dressed nice, but all of them combined can’t compete with Bibi Jones backing the Thunder. Thunder win the sexy fan battle.
Though Dallas leads the season series 2-1 against the Thunder, let’s not forget that the Thunder have Kevin Durant and a healthy Russell Westbrook. After a disappointing NBA Playoffs last season, expect the Thunder to come out swinging. Thunder in 5 games.
The L.A. Clippers (3) vs. the Golden State Warriors (6).
L.A. Clippers babe:
Golden State Warriors babe:
Alysha Nett showing her tits in a L.A. Clippers crop top is one of my favorite pictures of all time, but who’s to say she’s a real Clippers fan? Jessica Alba’s been a Golden State Warriors fan since before Steph Curry came through and made the Warriors relevant again, so I gots to give this one to the Warriors.
And when it comes to the actual first round, Clippers are definitely the favorite with Chris Paul and Blake Griffin. But screw those guys. I want to see Steph Curry take this series over, which is why I’m going to say Warriors in 7 games.
The Houston Rockets (4) vs. the Portland Trailblazers (5).
Houston Rockets babe:
Portland Trailblazers babe:
That said, Dwight Howard has totally ruined the Houston Rockets for me. When it was just Harden, Lin, and Parsons, I definitely backed the team but Howard is just such a kook. That’s why I’m going to say Damian Lillard and Lamarcus Aldridge are going to advance to the second round. Portland in 7 games.
Alright, so there are my predictions for the first round of the NBA Playoffs. Saturday can’t come soon enough!
…if they make the playoffs that is.
But wait, let me explain what’s happening.
Ava Devine is a half-Asian pornstar that’s been in the porn industry since 2003. In that time, Ava Devine has managed to do it all. She’s done gangbangs, double anal, and she’s even performed with transexuals. Throughout her career, Ava Devine has shown us time and again that she has no boundaries and she’s willing to do anything. Former pornstar Hannah Harper once said that Ava was the porn industry’s “lady of the lake”, meaning that she is the mythical woman willing to have sex with anyone at any time. Including the Cleveland Cavaliers.
Yes, on top of being a pornstar totally obsessed with sex, Ava Devine is also a sports fan, specifically of the underdog teams like the Cleveland Cavaliers.
While it’s admirable when any fan continues to support their favorite team despite their terribleness, Ava Devine has upped the ante by vowing to TMZ Sports that she (and maybe a couple of her pornstar friends) would bang the entire Cleveland Cavaliers team if they make the playoffs. Continue Reading
Michelle Rodriguez and Cara Delevingne were spotted making out at Tuesday Knicks game against the Detroit Pistons. Continue Reading
Loyal blog pawns know that the only thing I like more than sex and porn is professional basketball.
That’s why I’m devastated to hear Chicago Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau confirm that Derrick Rose has had surgery to repair the torn medial meniscus in his right knee that will sideline him for the rest of the season. This is Rose’s second major knee surgery in 19 months.
For those of you that don’t follow the NBA, Derrick Rose is one of the best players in the league and the NBA just isn’t as exciting without him. The most worrisome part of Rose’s injury is that knee injuries can end careers. Just look at Amar’e Stoudemire and Vince Carter. Though they’re still playing post-knee injuries, they’re nowhere near the explosive players they used to be.
Last time Rose played a full season in 2010-11, he was named the NBA’s MVP. He was 22 at the time. Now at 25, Derrick Rose is approaching his prime but he may never be same.
So while basketball fans everywhere mourn the loss of one the game’s best players (maybe forever, but hopefully just for another year), I’ve come up with the Top 10 Ways to Get Over Derrick Rose’s Injury.
Spoiler Alert: Make Carlos Boozer your new favorite player isn’t one of them. Continue Reading
Finally! The day we’ve all been waiting for is here.
BASKETBALL IS BACK!
Will the Rockets be a contender now that they’ve added big man Dwight Howard?
Can Damien Lillard build off his hot rookie season or is he headed for a sophomore slump?
How much does Tim Duncan have left in the tank?
Can the Pistons make the playoffs with a team that has a surplus of size and not enough shooting?
Will Kevin Garnett and Carmelo Anthony kill each other now that they’re both in New York (Brooklyn Nets and New York Knicks respectively)?
Are the Miami Heat going to win a third straight NBA Championship?
So many questions and none of them will be answered until the end of the 2014 season in April. What can we do to pass the time? How about looking at the Top 10 Sexiest NBA Fans? Why not, right? If these girls don’t get you excited for the new NBA season, maybe basketball isn’t your thing. At least you get to see some sexy NBA-loving babes!
Ok. Here we go. The TOP 10 Sexiest NBA Fans. Continue Reading