Ah, is there anything better than young love? When you’re young and in love – nothing else matters. You can’t keep your hands off of each other. You’re making out in public, jamming your tongues into each others’ mouthes, and making all of the passerbys and old people very uncomfortable. You’re fucking each other on a bench in the middle of a busy street while bystanders watch, gawk, and yell at you to stop…wait a second, that last one’s maybe crossing some kind of public decency line.
These are the titles that come to mind whenever I think about Farrah Abraham.
But now, she’ll always be the creepiest version of Elsa from Disney’s Frozen because Farrah Abraham was in an Elsa costume to sell molds of her vagina and asshole in Hollywood earlier this week. Continue Reading
We’ve gone over this before, but let me repeat it…you should be using lube! Dark ages ended a long time ago, so there’s no need for you to be raw-dogging it. If you’re still not using lube, then you need to see the Top 8 Reasons Why You Should Be Using Lube before we continue.
Ok great, now that we’re all using lube, now we can continue.
While there are lubes that moisturize, warm, cool, tighten, numb and smell, for Timothy Killian there was something missing. That void Timothy Killian spotted in the lube industry is precisely what made him found a company called Weverse and create Shower Jerk. Continue Reading
Jennifer Lawrence is on the cover of next month’s Vanity Fair to promote her new movie The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 (seriously? Part 1? Why must every franchise be milked to the last drop? Oh right…money.) But Vanity Fair’s Sam Kashner took the opportunity to ask Jennifer Lawrence about the infamous incident where so many of her nude photos were leaked (colloquially known as The Fappening).
Up until this brand new Jennifer Lawrence Vanity Fair profile, JLaw has kept silent on the whole incident, only releasing statements through her representation. Here now are Jennifer Lawrence’s thoughts on The Fappening: Continue Reading
A lawsuit filed on Friday in California by a dental technician alleges that part-time actor and full-time crazy person loveable scamp Charlie Sheen sexually harassed her, threatened the dentist with a knife and flung split all over the dentist’s office while he was being treated for an abscess in his mouth. Meanwhile, the dentist she was working with has denied these allegations.
The dental technician, Margarita Palestino, alleged in the suit that Sheen ripped off his nitrous oxide mask and yelled “I’m going to fucking kill you!” to everyone in the room. Oh Charlie Sheen, you loveable scamp. Continue Reading
At the risk of sounding heteronormative, penises are weird. Not that I’m not happy to have a penis (it’s pretty cool, I guess), but you’ve got to admit that having a super-sensitive nub of flesh that alternates between fleshy sponge and rock-hard love machine is weird.
While women worry about keeping their bodies up to the ridiculously high standards set by mainstream and adult media, men have all been brainwashed into thinking that their penises need to be big, circumcised and ready to get hard in a moment’s notice because those are the only types of penises we ever see or talk about. Continue Reading
Are you familiar with webcam girl Sasha Pain? 46.6 thousand people on Twitter are.
It’s not uncommon for a webcam girl, especially one as sexy as Sasha Pain, to have massive followings on social media since interacting with fans encourages them to tune-in to webcam shows more often (thus generating more revenue for the webcam girl in question). That said, Sasha Pain is using her online adult celebrity-status for something far more important than her own financial well-being: supporting demonstrators in Ferguson, Missouri. Continue Reading
What makes TheWorstDrug.com such a marvellous website? Well, it was designed to scrape the internet for the most shared GIFs on daily basis. Obviously that’s a great idea for a website because who doesn’t want to see the day’s most popular GIFs? There was just one thing no one could ever anticipate…
THE INTERNET’S MOST SHARED GIFS ARE PORN GIFS!
Needless to say, as self-proclaimed porn GIF aficionados, we were elated to hear that Porn GIFs were the most popular GIFs on the internet. I mean, it doesn’t even seem possible given the number animal GIFs and fail GIFs floating around the internet. Perhaps there’s a problem in The Worst Drug’s algorithm?
Though we were delighted to see that The Worst Drug aggregates the most shared porn GIFs on the internet, potential investors weren’t too keen in putting money into the internet’s second best resource for porn GIFs (first best resource for porn GIFs is Sex.com, of course).
Hosting bills are starting to pile up and The Worst Drug is having difficulty staying afloat. “Investors purport to find it sinful, apparently, hence the term ‘sin stocks’,” The Worst Drug’s COO “Katie” told BetaBeat. “I’ve spoken to dozens of VCs, some from very prestigious firms. They say they appreciate our tech and design, and ask us to contact them with our next project. Investors may have different preferences, like biotech or renewable energy, but this is $13 billion of annual U.S. revenue they’re leaving on the table.” Continue Reading
What a week for internet hoaxes! First the three-breasted woman turns out to be a regular two-breasted woman, desperate for fame and now the promise of leaked Emma Watson nude photos has turned out to be as fake as those Emma Watson nudes already pinned to Sex.com.
As we explained yesterday, right after Emma Watson’s gender equality speech to the UN, the mysterious website EmmaYouAreNext.com emerged online. All it contained was an image of Emma Watson’s face, the 4chan logo, a countdown to Saturday, September 27th at 12am and the promise that they would leak Emma Watson’s nude photos once the sands in their digital hourglass ran out.
The 4chan logo was the first red flag that this all might be a hoax. As more and more people wrote about and shared EmmaYouAreNext.com, they ditched the countdown clock and revealed there were no Emma Watson nude photos. This all just a publicity stunt we fell for. Continue Reading
An older gentleman in Queens, NYC has been posting pornographic images in his windows.
Why? For fun?
According to his neighbors, the old man doesn’t like that an immigrant, Indian family moved in next door to him. The man, who chose to use the fake name “Jimmy”, admitted to WABC that he posted the pornographic images in his windows, but said, “I’m drying them out, they got damp last night.”
As far as excuses go, I’m genuinely impressed by how lame Jimmy’s “drying out my damp pornographic images”-excuse is.
Jimmy’s neighbor, Sanjeev Aggurawal said, “My son—he’s four! My nephews are seven and nine, and they come over and they see this. This is ridiculous, it has to stop. He’s upset because some Indian guy moved in next door. That’s the basic thing.” The Aggurawals have been forced to hang a sheet on their porch to ensure their son doesn’t see the pornographic images.
The neighbors have called the cops on Jimmy before, but he just removes the photos and replaces them when the police have left.
In another attempt at a lame excuse, Jimmy also told WABC, “That’s my artwork!” Sure it is. The drying your damp pornography excuse was somehow more convincing.
I’m all for freedom of expression and especially like it when I hear that old men are enjoying pornography. But to use pornography to bully your immigrant neighbors? Not cool.
But what I find most offensive about this entire news story is Jimmy’s blatant disregard for the Sex.com Blog’s definitive list of places to keep your porn.
If you’re not sure where to post your porn, then let this be your guide.
The only places you should be keeping your porn:
- Sex.com pinboard
- computer hard drive
- external hard drive
- flash drive? (they make them pretty big these days)
- floppy disk
- under your mattress
- inside the mattress?
- under a pile of coats
- under a pile of leaves
- in that secret apartment you leased under a fake name
- white Ford Bronco
- bathroom (full magazines with no pages stuck together only)
- safe with retinal scanner
- in the Earth’s core
- underneath a big box being propped up by a piece of wood so when a pervert goes under it to try and get the porn the box falls on them and traps them
- safety deposit box in offshore bank
- up your butt and around the corner
- coffee table (it’s a conversation starter!)
- hollowed out books
- wherever you hide your drugs
- cardboard box labelled “GAY PORN“*
Nowhere on this list does it say you can put your porn in your windows. Poor form, Jimmy. Poor form.
*NOTE: only hide your straight porn in a cardboard box labelled “GAY PORN”. If you’re hiding gay porn, hide it in a cardboard box labelled “PORN”.[h/t: Gawker]