Three weeks ago, Nikki Benz announced that she would be running for mayor in Toronto’s upcoming municipal election. For those of you who might have missed this news, you can see the original story here: Nikki Benz is Running Against Rob Ford to Become Toronto’s Mayor.
Well, at 12 o’clock Eastern standard time, Nikki Benz registered to run in the election.
That’s dope. She’s doing it! She’s really doing it!
Unfortunately, there may be some complications…
There may or may not have been some complications with Nikki Benz’s registration. I’ve been trying to find some more information on whether or not she was successful, but there is a chance that Nikki Benz may not actually be running for mayor of Toronto.
What kind of “paperwork issues” could keep Nikki Benz from registering to run? Perhaps it’s because she splits her time between LA and TDOT, which therefore makes her status as a resident of Toronto somewhat questionable. It’s more likely that election services are taking matters into their own hands to keep sex workers out of office.
And if that’s the case, then I won’t stand for this kind of sex worker discrimination. So what if her tits are almost as big as Rob Ford’s? She has every right to run for mayor as any other yahoo.
If I may, I’m going to give you 9 reasons why Nikki Benz might be a good choice for Mayor.
1. Public transit is a big issue in Toronto, and if elected, Nikki Benz plans to fast-track a relief line Downtown. Not a bad idea.
2. She’s also suggested equipping the transit system with vibrating seats and sex toys. Though that might make taking Toronto public transit extremely dangerous, at least it’ll be good for tourism. Who wouldn’t travel to Toronto to see their sex toy themed trains?
3. She supports gay rights and wants Toronot to be “an open-minded city promoting equality year-round.” Can’t hate on that. Anyone who doesn’t support year-round equality is definitely fucked in the head.
4. She wants to bring the adult industry to Toronto, which is undeniably good for the city’s economy. Though most citizens probably don’t want to hear it, the adult industry is a huge industry that can create jobs and generate tax revenue.
5. If elected, Nikki Benz promises to make National Masturbation Day a civic holiday, which is great because masturbation makes people healthy and happy. It also might Torontonians chill the fuck out, because based on the Torontonians I’ve met, they’re all super uptight.
6. Emphasizes transparent and honest government. When said by a politician, it’s hard not to roll your eyes at that. But as a pornstar, surely those aren’t empty words.
7. Nikki Benz, if elected, would donate half of her annual salary to a charity chosen by the citizens of Toronto. Now that’s a promise I’d like to see the other candidates match.
8. Nikki Benz does not smoke crack cocaine. She doesn’t even smoke cigarettes. Normally, that should go without saying for a mayoral candidate, but that’s Toronto for you.
9. Nikki Benz is fine as hell: